慢慢来，才能快点走——高中英语书面表达技巧点拨

张 洁 王书珊

（江苏省天一中学）

“慢慢来，才能快点走！”看似自相矛盾，其实和英语谚语“More haste, less speed.”（欲速则不达）类似，蕴含大道理。尤其在英语书面表达训练中，只有平时慢慢品、慢慢背、慢慢仿，写前审题环节慢慢读、细细审，才能在动笔写的环节思路顺畅、快快写，顺利完成。下面以2023 年新课标Ⅰ卷为例分享几点高中英语书面表达技巧。

一、 应用文写作

假定你是李华，外教Ryan 准备将学生随机分为两人一组，让大家课后练习口语，你认为这样分组存在问题。请你给外教写一封邮件，内容包括：

（1）说明问题；

（2）提出建议。

从体裁上看，此应用文属于“建议信”，是对有关问题或困惑进行深入分析并针对此问题提出自己看法和建议的书信。因此，在平时的训练中，我们首先要慢慢品味建议信的书写格式、慢慢背诵积累一些提出建议的常用句型、慢慢学着仿写建议信。

通过研读多封建议信我们可发现，建议信要语言恳切，礼貌委婉，言之有理，有说服力，并且提出的建议要契合实际，能帮助有效解决实际问题或困惑。关于建议信的写作，我们可以从以下几个方面进行：

（一）慢慢感知建议信文体特征

建议信一般使用第一、二人称，时态以一般现在时为主。学生们在落笔前需要确定好每一段的中心内容，列出提纲，从而避免跑题。

Para 1：收到来信，得知……（问题）；安慰；写作目的（提建议）

Para 2：具体的建议与理由

Para 3：希望采纳并祝福；期待情况改善

学生们完成总体结构后，就可以拿到基本分了，接下来我们一起来看一下如何进行表达的升级并为总体的写作锦上添花。

（二）慢慢背诵并积累相关表达

（1）写信目的：

a.I am very glad to have received your letter concerning your plan to pay a visit to China next week.I can’t wait to offer my personal suggestions.

b.You have asked me for my advice with regard to how to learn English, and I will try to offer some suggestions here.

c.I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing difficulty in fitting in with your new class.Such problems are quite common.Perhaps the following suggestions will be of some help to you.

（2）具体建议与理由：

a.I think it would be beneficial if you could do...

b.It is strongly suggested/recommended that you should do...

c.When it comes to such a situation, I would like to suggest that...For one thing...For another...Additionally...

d.Firstly, it would be nice to do...Secondly, it couldn’t be better if you could do...Last but not least, you’d better do...

e.To begin with, it’s of great necessity to do...Moreover, ...is also an advantage.In addition,you’re highly recommended to do...

f.As far as I am concerned/From my point of view/perspective, it is a great idea to do...Besides, I strongly advise you to do...What’s more, you can...

（3）希望采纳并祝福：

a.I firmly believe that you will take my suggestions into account.Whatever you decide to do, good luck with your studies/work!

b.I sincerely hope my advice will be of some help to your decision-making.Please let me know if there is more I can do to help.

c.I am strongly convinced that you can overcome the difficulty if you adopt these suggestions.Looking forward to your good news.

（三）慢慢学会举例扩展与因果扩展

一些同学在建议信写作中，往往提出一些过于抽象而不够具体的建议。他们提出的建议如空中楼阁，难以给收信人具体的实践指导，或者仅仅提出建议，而不向收信人具体解释这样做的原因。这两点都导致学生们写出的应用文内容上浮于表面，不够落地，且缺乏说服力，进而使这种实用性文体失去了传递信息的功能。

（1）时间安排

I s u g g e s t y o u schedule your time wisely.给建议添加具体的例子：…, including setting aside specific time for your studying and playing and balancing your schoolwork with other activities.

（2）举办活动

I recommend that various activities should be organized.给建议添加具体的例子：…, ranging from lectures on popular science to meetings where writers can communicate face to face.

（3）栏目调整

I think a 10-minute English news brief should be broadcast before the class begins.给建议添加原因：…, which will help students get to know domestic and international affairs and improve their listening skills.

（4）提高学习效率

Make sure to get enough sleep.给建议添加原因：…It is at night that all the information you learn during the day is processed, so a good sleep is crucial.

给建议添加原因：Not only does exercise build up your body, but also it helps you relax and refresh your mind, making you memorize what you have learnt faster and longer.You are advised to take part in sports.

下面我们将以2023 年新课标Ⅰ卷应用文为例，将整个答题过程分为“细审题，稳谋篇，巧成文，慢检查”四个步骤。

1.细审题

审题是应用文写作的第一步，也是最重要的环节之一。本次高考考题的内容是学生写给外教老师的建议信，内容是指出外教口语分组方法的问题并提出建议，非常贴近学生生活。

2.稳谋篇

本文应以一般现在时为主，人称上以第一、二人称为主。段落安排如下：

Para 1：自我介绍+写信目的

Para 2：指出分组可能存在的问题

Para 3：提出建议并表达希望采纳

需要注意的是，在指出问题时，态度应该诚恳而非责备；在提出建议时，策略应该具体且与问题匹配。

3.巧成文

根据行文逻辑增加一些必要的过渡词，使表达更加连贯紧凑，如：if、supposing 表假设，by contrast、on the contrary表比较，as a result,consequently, therefore 表因果等。同时也可以使用一些高级句式与表达，如倒装句、强调句、从句、非谓语动词等，使句式变化更加丰富，传递更多信息，举例如下：

In any pair, one student may be more confident and talkative, which means he or she will be in a dominant position in the conversation while the other one will be reluctant to voice his or her opinions.(从句)

Students should be carefully divided according to their language abilities, thus enabling them to practice oral English more efficiently.(非谓语动词)

True as it is that pairing up students randomly is beneficial to interaction between students, there might be some potential problems.(倒装句)

To address these issues, would it be possible to implement some guidelines for the practice sessions?Setting a time limit for each student to speak or assigning a specific topic would help guarantee equal participation.(高级表达)

4.慢检查

成文后，考生不要着急做后面的题目，而要对习作进行细致的检查，这主要包括：

（1）要点是否齐全；

（2）段落安排是否合理；

（3）人称、时态是否一致；

（4）句子结构是否正确。

除此之外，只有书写规范、卷面整洁，才能为书面表达锦上添花，赢得高分。这些看似“慢”的步骤，实则保证学生高质量完成应用文写作任务。

下面我们以学生习作具体评析：

Practical writing （应用文）Self-assessment Peer-assessment Teacher-assessment A: good B: Okay C: Poor Content State problems A A A Make suggestions A A B Language Use proper ways to make suggestions B B B Use rich vocabulary and varied sentence patterns B B B Coherence&Appropriateness Use linking words A A A Appropriate tone A A A My favorite表达如function meaninglessly, take...into account;句式如倒装句not only...but also..., 强调句it is...that...。句式如Knowing that...，which 引导非限制定从等。My advice 有一些表达出错。表达比较丰富，能基本满足应用文的写作目的；有些表达不正确，如you’d be intended for the mistakes。有些表达可升级，如make students pronouncing well and students pronouncing bad in one group 可升级为group students according to their oral English proficiency;最后一点建议不够具体，且缺乏针对性。

二、读后续写写作

阅读下面材料, 根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段, 使之构成一篇完整的短文。

When I was in middle school, my social studies teacher asked me to enter a writing contest.I said no without thinking.I did not love writing.My family came from Brazil, so English was only my second language.Writing was so difficult and painful for me that my teacher had allowed me to present my paper on the sinking of the Titanic by acting out a play, where I played all the parts.No one laughed harder than he did.

So, why did he suddenly force me to do something at which I was sure to fail? His reply:“Because I love your stories.If you’re willing to apply yourself, I think you have a good shot at this.”Encouraged by his words, I agreed to give it a try.

I chose Paul Revere’s horse as my subject.Paul Revere was a silversmith (银匠) in Boston who rode a horse at night on April 18, 1775 to Lexington to warn people that British soldiers were coming.My story would come straight from the horse’s mouth.Not a brilliant idea, but funny; and unlikely to be anyone else’s choice.

What did the horse think, as he sped through the night? Did he get tired? Have doubts? Did he want to quit? I sympathized immediately.I got tired.I had doubts.I wanted to quit.But, like Revere’s horse, I kept going.I worked hard.I checked my spelling.I asked my older sister to correct my grammar.I checked out a half dozen books on Paul Revere from the library.I even read a few of them.

When I handed in the essay to my teacher, he read it, laughed out loud, and said,“Great.Now,write it again.”I wrote it again, and again and again.When I finally finished it, the thought of winning had given way to the enjoyment of writing.If I didn’t win,I wouldn’t care.

注意：

1.续写词数应为150 个左右；

2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

Paragraph 1：

A few weeks later, when I almost forgot the contest,there came the news.____________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2：

I went to my teacher’s office after the award presentation.__________________________________________________________________________

本续写材料以人物为线索展开，讲述了作者上中学的时候，社会学老师邀请作者参加一个英文写作比赛。作为一个巴西人，英语是作者的第二语言，且作者不喜欢写作，于是作者想都没想就拒绝了。但是在老师的鼓励下，作者同意试一试。作者在写作过程中虽然很累，但是没有放弃，坚持下来了。在作者最终完成写作时，作者感到写作让他很快乐，比赛输赢已不再重要。

从内容上看，此续写主题语境为“人与自我”，属于“学习与生活、做人与做事”主题群，倡导我们在平时的学习生活中遇到挫折不要轻言放弃，要培养勇敢面对、坚持到底的品质。因此，我们在平时训练中，首先要养成根据“主题语境”和特定话题来慢慢积累的习惯。

关于“勇敢面对挑战、坚持不放弃”的话题表达积累我们可以尝试从以下几方面进行：

（一）慢慢创建自己的话题“词汇场”：

（二）慢慢积累话题相关的动作、情绪描写和小对话：

（1）Though frustrated after failing several times, he collected himself, gritted his teeth and moved on.(尽管失败多次之后有些沮丧，他还是振作起来，咬紧牙关，继续前行。)

（2）With watery eyes, she threw her arms tightly around Mary who encouraged her all the way,words failing at the very moment.（眼里含着泪，她紧紧抱住一直鼓励和支持她的Mary, 说不出话来。）

（3）“Come on! Give it a shot.You can make it!”（加油！试一试，你能行！）

（4）“Nothing is impossible for a willing heart.”（心之所愿，无所不成。）

（5）“Dear, remember to have confidence in yourself.Everyone’s potential is endless.”（亲爱的，记住要相信自己，每个人的潜力是无限的。）

（三）慢慢收集丰富多样的话题句式：

（1） It was Jane’s persistent efforts and strong faith that paved the way for realizing her dream.（强调句：是坚持不懈的努力和强烈的信念为她实现梦想铺平了道路。）

（2）So moved was she that she said in a trembling voice,“Without your support and encouragement, I wouldn’t have made it today.”（部分倒装和虚拟语气：她非常感动，声音颤抖地说：“没有你的支持和鼓励，今天我不可能成功。”）

（3）As long as we dare to dream and don’t let difficulties get in our way, anything is possible.(状语从句：只要我们敢于梦想，不被困难所阻挡，一切皆有可能。)

（4）Determination and optimism are what it takes to conquer your fear and accomplish your goal.（名词性从句：战胜恐惧和实现目标需要决心和乐观。）

（四） 慢慢累积阅读的宽度与广度：

（1）On his way home, Jordan was quiet.He kept thinking about Alice’s words: Think outside the box.There’s hidden potential in everyday items.在回家的路上，Jordan 很安静。他不断地在想Alice 说的话：“打破思维定式，在日常生活中就充满潜力。”（摘自2023 年广州二模卷读后续写)

（2）And I believe no matter how steep the mountain is, there will always be a climb for the people who do not fear the difficulty.我相信，无论山有多陡，不怕困难的人总能找到上山的路。（摘自完形填空）

（3）Grit is passion and perseverance for very long-term goals.Grit is having stamina.Grit is sticking with your future, day in, and day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years,and working really hard to make that future a reality.Grit is living life like it’s a marathon, not a sprint.毅力是对长远目标的激情和坚持，毅力是拥有持久的恒劲，毅力是你对未来的坚持，日复一日，不仅仅是一星期，不仅仅是一个月，而是数年的坚持，努力奋斗着让自己的梦想变为现实。毅力是把生活当成一场马拉松，而不是一次短跑。（摘自TED 演讲：The power of passion and perseverance)

（4）As the saying goes,“Rome wasn’t built in a day.”and“Constant dripping wears away a stone.”It takes time and effort to achieve your goals,and progress is not made overnight.俗话说:“罗马不是一天建成的。”和“滴水穿石”。实现你的目标需要时间和努力，进步不是一蹴而就的。

（5）Some people say that both persistence and giving up require effort, but the former’s effort will make life better and the latter’s will cause life to stagnate.有人说，坚持和放弃都需要努力，但前者的努力会让生活更美好，后者的努力会让生活停滞。

（6）On the road to improvement, we are never short of plans and actions.But what is more precious than action and plan is the ability to persist in our choices when we cannot see the results.在进步的道路上，我们从不缺乏计划和行动。但是，比行动和计划更宝贵的是，当我们看不到结果时，坚持选择的能力。（摘自美文：It’s not hard to give up,but persistence must be cool）

其次，我们在动笔续写前，审题环节至关重要。慢慢读、慢慢找、慢慢思，才能理清人物关系和情节走向，为续写环节打下坚实的基础，才能快快续写出合理的情节和结尾。以上面2023 年新课标Ⅰ卷读后续写为例，我们可以把整个过程分为“读、后、续、写”四个环节。

环节一：读（5min）：慢慢读已知故事三要素

环节二：后（5min）：慢慢找故事和两首句中的伏笔

*teacher:

“Because I love your stories.If you’re willing to apply yourself, I think you have a good shot at this.”

“Great.Now, write it again.”

*I:

Encouraged by his words, I agreed to give it a try.

My story would come straight from the horse’s mouth.Not a brilliant idea, but funny; and unlikely to be anyone else’s choice.

I got tired.I had doubts.I wanted to quit.But,like Revere’s horse, I kept going.I worked hard.

When I finally finished it, the thought of winning had given way to the enjoyment of writing.If I didn’t win, I wouldn’t care.

从以上信息可推断出，老师看出“我”的写作潜力，觉得“我”的初稿写得不错，再进行提升和润色。“我”决定尝试后，选择了与众不同的故事开头，尽管中途有怀疑，但还是努力坚持，最后完成后发现输赢不重要，自己很享受写作的过程。

首句1：A few weeks later, when I almost forgot the contest, there came the news.

首 句2：I went to my teacher’s office after the award presentation.

环节三：续（15min）：慢慢思故事走向和语言表达

首句1: A few weeks later, when I almost forgot the contest, there came the news.

Plot Action Emotion*win the award*attend the award presentation surprised happy excited jump with joy express thanks to teacher

首 句2：I went to my teacher’s office after the award presentation.

Plot Action Emotion*Teacher congratulate*I extend gratitude again*I enjoy writing and become a writer delighted, proud,confident,determined hug+dialogue owe ...to...

环节四：写（10min）：快速完成故事和结尾

在前三个环节的慢慢读、慢慢找、慢慢思之后，最后写的环节就顺理成章了，注意情节中人物动作和情绪要穿插描写，人物间要互动，适当加以对话，句式要长短结合，丰富多样，用词要准确到位，结尾要合理自然。

下面我们以学生习作具体评析：

Continuation writing（读后续写） Self-assessment Peer-assessment Teacher-assessment A: good B: Okay C: Poor Content The news; my feelings and reactions; accept the prize A A B Proper theme A A A Language Use rich vocabulary and varied sentence patterns B A A With the previous given story A A A With the given first sentence of each paragraph A A A Cohesion& Coherence Between two paragraphs A A A

续表

总之，高中英语书面表达，不管是应用文还是读后续写，我们都要秉承“慢慢来”的原则，平时慢慢品味、慢慢积累、慢慢模仿、慢慢内化，做题前慢慢审题、慢慢构思。慢其实是为了快，在慢的基础上才能下笔如有神，快速顺利地完成写作任务。

三、小试牛刀（原创题）

1.应用文

假定你是李华，你的美国朋友Mike 就读的学校要举办一年一度的“中国文化节”。他来信向你征求活动意见，请你写封回信，内容包括：

（1）写信目的；

（2）活动建议（至少两条）；

（3）表示祝愿。

注意：

（1） 词数80 左右；

（2） 可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。

2.读后续写

阅读下面材料, 根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段, 使之构成一篇完整的短文。

One day, I came home after school and threw my gym bag and volleyball down on the floor.I had tried out for the school volleyball team, and I didn’t make it.I felt terrible.

I didn’t want to talk to anyone.I just lay on my bed.My mother tried to cheer me up, but nothing she did worked.

Finally, my mother sent me to visit my uncle who lived around the corner.Off I went in my bad mood.I rang the bell.No answer.Then the door suddenly flew open.

“ARRRRGGHHH!” a monster roared in my face! The mask came off, and Uncle Gerry said,“Still in a bad mood?”I guess my mother had told my uncle about my disappointment in not making the volleyball team.He decided to give me a little surprise.I didn’t want to admit it, but I felt better.

Later on, over cookies and tea, he gave me some good advice.He said,“Tommy, I’m proud of you for trying out for the volleyball team.You know what I do? Every year, I make a promise to myself to try one new thing—like a new sport, a new book or a new hobby.I even try to make a new friend each year.Trying new things helps you grow as a person.”

注意：

（1）续写词数应为150 个左右；

（2）请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

Paragraph 1：

It sounded interesting.___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2：

From then on, I played with them every week.__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________