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试探《英译中国现代散文选》中的英语搭配错误

2016-07-09顾祖良

外国语文研究 2016年2期
关键词:纠正搭配英语翻译

摘 要:一般来说,中译英时,词汇和语法方面的错误容易避免。但搭配方面的错误,一不留神就会出现在译文中。本文指出《英译中国现代散文选》系列译文中的英语搭配错误,通过大量实例分析造成错误的原因,并纠正错误的译文。

关键词:中国现代散文;英语翻译;搭配;错误;纠正

中图分类号:H315.9 文献标识码:A 文章编号:1003-6822(2016)02-0077-07

1. 引言

在谈到英语搭配的重要性时,王文昌教授(1988)在其《英语搭配大词典》前言中,明确指出:搭配(collocation)可以粗分为封闭型(closed)和开放型(open)两大类。封闭型搭配是在长期的使用过程当中逐渐形成的固定词组,开放型搭配是在千变万化的语言环境(linguistic context)中按照一定语法结构和语意联系造就的灵活词语组合,可以无限生成。掌握符合习惯的英语词汇搭配有助于非英语民族的人克服由于受到本民族语言和文化的影响而产生的错误,避免不合习惯的类推,从而提高运用地道英语(idiomatic English)进行交际的能力。然而,在《英译中国现代散文选1》(张培基,2007a)、《英译中国现代散文选2》(张培基,2007b)、《英译中国现代散文选3》(张培基,2007c)和《英译中国现代散文选4》(张培基,2012)中,有些译文存在着英语搭配方面的错误,使译文显得不够地道。本文举出一些这样的实例,分析其错误的原因,并给出符合英语表达习惯的译文,供读者参考,也同原译者商榷。

2. 《英译中国现代散文选》中的搭配错误

2.1 a cave to hide的搭配错误

原文:他跑来跑去地寻。他想寻一个窟穴,躲了身子。

译文:He dashed here and there in search of a cave to hide.(张培基,2007a: 8)

以上原译文有误。按照英语的语法规则,动词不定式作定语修饰名词,如果动词是不及物动词,当其前被修饰的名词是place、way、time或day时,介词可以省略(赵振才,2005: 669)。但在其他名词后,相应的介词不能省略。例如:

(1)The boy needs a friend to play with. 这个男孩需要一个朋友跟他一起玩。(章振邦,1999: 187)

(2)There is nothing to talk about. 没什么可谈论的。(Ibid.)

(3)I need a pen to write with. 我需要一支钢笔写字。(蔡光天,1999: 242)

(4)The nurse has four patients to look after.这护士有四个病人要照看。(Ibid.)

因此,原译文宜改为: He dashed here and there in search of a cave to hide in.

2.2 towards the evening 的搭配错误

原文:走在路上,还没“断黑”已经一连串亮了街灯。

译文:When you go out for a walk towards the evening, youll see street lamps lit up one after another though it is not yet quite dark. (张培基,2007b: 25)

原文:傍晚坐在窗下看书,page上“渐渐”地黑起来。

译文:When you sit by the window reading a book towards the evening, youll find the words on each page “gradually” becoming blurred. (张培基,2007b: 151)

以上原译文中的 towards the evening, 不符合英语的表达习惯。towards evening 是固定搭配,作“近黄昏时”解。towards 或toward 还可跟morning, noon, midday, dusk, sundown 及nighttime等名词连用,这些名词前均不加冠词the(顾祖良,2013: 224)。例如:

(1) The river overflowed the banks towards evening the next day. 在次日傍晚,河水决堤了。(费致德,1981: 481)

(2)There was a storm towards evening. 快到黄昏时,来了场暴风雨。(赵振才,2005: 1216)

(3)Towards morning the snow turned to rain. 临近拂晓,雪停了,开始下起雨来。(Crowther et al., 2003: 507)

(4)It is now towards noon. 现在临近中午了。(王文昌,1988: 1137)

(5)Towards midday, the fog began to disperse, and the sun broke through. 近中午时,雾开始散去,太阳穿云而出。(张道真,1987: 4899)

(6)Towards dusk they chanced on one another out by the gate. 近黄昏时,他们在门外又碰巧相遇了。(Ibid.)

(7)The beach was golden towards sundown.太阳快落山时,海滩上一片金黄色。(陆谷孙,2007: 2004)

不过,除了可用 towards evening 和towards dusk 外,表示“近黄昏时”,还有一个短语 towards the end of the afternoon, 同样表达此意。只不过,该短语中的两个冠词the, 都不能省略。如:Towards the end of the afternoon, it began to rain. 近黄昏时开始下雨了。(Summers, 2005: 1863)

因此,原译文宜分别改为:1. When you go out for a walk towards evening, youll see street lamps lit up one after another though it is not yet quite dark. 2. When you sit by the window reading a book towards evening, youll find the words on each page“gradually”becoming blurred.

2.3 fall a victim to 的搭配错误

原文:日本部队进入杭州,在一次抢劫中,她不幸落入这些兽类的手里。

译文:Unfortunately, she fell a victim to the bestiality of Japanese soldiers when they ransacked the city of Hangzhou. (张培基,2007b: 289)

以上原译文中的fell a victim 用法有误。fall victim to 是固定搭配,作“受伤;受损;被害”解,victim前不加冠词(Hornby, 2004: 1965)。例如:

(1)Many plants have fallen victim to the sudden frost. 许多植物被突如其来的霜降冻伤了。(Hornby, 2004: 1965)

(2)Thousands of trees have fallen victim to (=suffered from) this disease. 有数千株树木遭受这种病害。(Summers, 2005: 1942)

(3)He fell victim to polio. 他是小儿麻痹症的受害者。(McArthur, 1997:83)

(4)She fell victim to a desire for new clothes, and soon had no money left.她买衣服成癖,很快就弄得一点钱都没有了。(Ibid.)

(5)In the late '70s, steel mills fell victim to foreign competition and changes in the industry. 70年代末,外国竞争以及行业中的各种变化使得钢厂深受其害。(Pearson Education Limited, 2003: 1607)

因此,原译文宜改为:Unfortunately, she fell victim to the bestiality of Japanese soldiers when they ransacked the city of Hangzhou.

2.4 everyone of us的搭配错误

原文:我们当年编《新华日报》,总共二十来人,记者、编辑都写,搞排版的、搞资料的、还有做校对工作的,每个人都写文章。

译文:The former Xinhua Daily, where we used to work, had a staff of about 20. Everyone of us wrote, including not only the reporters and editors, but also the typesetters, proofreaders and reference-library people. (张培基,2007b: 303)

以上原译文中的everyone of us用法有误。根据英语的表达习惯,everyone绝不可以跟“of ”,而必须使用every one of的结构(赵振才,2005: 440)。例如:

(1)Has everyone brought their exercise books? 每个人都带来了练习本吗? (Summers, 2005: 586)

(2)The police questioned everyone in the room. 警方盘问了房间里的每一个人。(Hornby, 2004: 585)

(3)He read every one of my scripts. 他读了我的每份手稿。(Sinclair, 2000: 230)

(4)There are 16 students and every one of them passed. 共有16位同学,每个人都通过了考试。(Summers, 2005: 586)

因此,原译文宜改为:The former Xinhua Daily, where we used to work, had a staff of about 20. Every one of us wrote, including not only the reporters and editors, but also the typesetters, proofreaders and reference-library people.

2.5 resort to the use of force的搭配错误

原文:它弄得焦急了,竟有用起暴力来。

译文:Finally, in desperation, he resorted to the use of force. (张培基,2007b:70)

以上原译文中的resorted to the use of force有误。resort to 是固定搭配,作“诉诸;求助于;依靠”解,其后直接跟sth. 或doing sth. (Hornby, 2004: 1478), 笔者认为其后不可再跟the use of, 否则,就会犯redundancy(赘言)错误。例如:

(1)They felt obliged to resort to violence. 他们觉得有必要诉诸暴力。(Hornby, 2004:1478)

(2)When polite requests failed, Paul resorted to threats.礼貌请求无效后,保罗就进行威胁。 (Pearson Education Limited, 2003: 1228)

(3)Many homeless teenagers resort to stealing when their money runs out. 许多无家可归的少年钱用完后只得去行窃。 (Ibid.)

(4)In the end, we had to resort to brute force to get the door open. 最后,我们不得不诉诸武力把门打开。(Crowther et al., 2003: 332)

(5)John resorts to lying whenever hes in trouble. 每当约翰陷入困境,他就靠说谎来应付。(戴炜栋,2003: 1402)

因此,原译文宜改为:Finally, in desperation, he resorted to force.

2.6 impossible of being broken的搭配错误

原文:所以,古人说:习之难改也甚矣。当然,这是说难改,不是说不能改。

译文:Thats why the ancients say,“Old habits die hard.”Nevertheless, it doesnt mean that habits are impossible of being broken.(张培基,2007c: 64)

以上原译文中的impossible of being broken有误。根据英语的表达习惯,impossible常用于It is impossible (for sb.) to do sth. 句型中(Pearson Education Limited, 2003: 726),也可用于Sth./Sb. be impossible to do. 的句型中(赵振才,2005: 642),在此结构中,动词用主动式,不用被动式。在英语中,无 be impossible of 这样的搭配。例如:

(1)It is impossible to predict the future. 不可能预测未来。(戴炜栋,2003: 871)

(2)It is impossible (for us) to come. (我们)无法来。(Summers, 2005: 876)

(3)The twins are so alike it is impossible to tell them apart. 这对双胞胎极其相似,不可能把他们区分开来。(Rundell, 1997: 660)

(4)Sam had screwed the lid on so tightly the jar was impossible to open. 山姆把罐盖拧得很紧,罐子已无法打开。(Ibid.)

(5)That child is impossible to control. 那个小孩管不住。(李在铭,1995: 259)

(6)He is impossible to work with. 不可能和他共事。(赵振才,2005: 642)

因此,原译文宜改为:Thats why the ancients say,“Old habits die hard.”Nevertheless, it doesnt mean that habits are impossible to break.也可改为:Thats why the ancients say,“Old habits die hard.” Nevertheless, it doesnt mean that it is impossible to break habits.

2.7 beyond/contrary to ones expectation的搭配错误

原文:谁知道事实却出乎意料之外。

译文:Unfortunately, the result was contrary to everybodys expectation. (张培基,2007a: 280)

原文:它的话是我完全料不到的。

译文:That was totally beyond my expectation.(张培基,2007c: 74)

以上原译文中的expectation用法有误。根据英语的表达习惯,名词expectation前, 如不跟all或ones等连用时,往往用名词单数形式,但其前有all或ones等修饰时,则往往要用名词复数形式expectations (Summers, 2005: 594)。 例如:

(1)We thought John would do well, but he has succeeded beyond expectation/our expectations. 我们已料到约翰会干得很出色,可是他的成就比我们预期的还高。(Summers, 2005: 594)

(2)Against all expectations, she was enjoying herself. 完全没有想到她过得非常快活。(Hornby, 2004: 596)

(3)The building was completed on time, contrary to expectation. 与预期相反, 该楼房按时完工。 (Crowther et al., 2003: 278)

(4)Contrary to everyones expectations Michael won the competition. 与大家的预期相反,迈克尔赢了比赛。(Rundell, 1997: 447)

(5)What should you do when an employees performance is disappointing and below expectation? 当一个员工的表现令人失望,低于期望,你该怎么办? (Crowther et al., 2003: 278)

(6)The scheme has produced results way beyond expectation. 该方案产生的结果远远超出预期。(Ibid.)

(7)He had been successful beyond his expectations. 他根本没想到会成功。(Ibid.)

因此,原译文宜分别改为:1. Unfortunately, the result was contrary to everybodys expectations.

2. That was totally beyond my expectations.

2.8 be strict with sth.的搭配错误

原文:有些时候他的确使人怕的,因为他对工作是严厉的,虽说在一切生活上是马马虎虎,不过这些受了很凶的批评的同志却会更爱他的。

译文:Sometimes he is really stern and forbidding because, though lax about things in his own personal life, he is very strict with work. Those who have been harshly criticized by him will nevertheless love him all the more. (张培基,2007c: 99)

原文:如今,她不能劳动了,可是对儿子的劳动成果,也绝不放松一针一线。

译文:Now she is too old to work, but she is very strict with my performance. (张培基,2012: 251)

以上原译文中的 strict with用法有误。根据英语的表达习惯,be strict with 后要跟sb., 而be strict about/in/on后则跟sth.(王文昌,1988: 1624)。例如:

(1)Mom and Dad were always very strict with us kids. 爸爸妈妈过去一直对我们很严格。 (Pearson Education Limited, 2003: 1442)

(2)They are very strict with their children. 他们对孩子很严格。(Summers, 2005: 1747)

(3)You seem too strict with your young ones. 你对自己的孩子视乎太严格了。(王文昌, 1988: 1624)

(4)The hospital is quite strict about visiting hours. 医院对探视病人的时间很严格。(Pearson Education Limited, 2003: 1442)

(5)Shes very strict about things like homework. 她对作业之类的事要求非常严格。(Hornby, 2004: 1748)

(6)He is strict in [on] the observance of the rules. 他严格遵守规则。(王文昌,1988: 1624)

因此,原译文宜分别改为:1. Sometimes he is really stern and forbidding because, though lax about things in his own personal life, he is very strict about/in/on work. Those who have been harshly criticized by him will nevertheless love him all the more. 2. Now she is too old to work, but she is very strict about/in/on my performance.

2.9 It is banned to do sth.的搭配错误

Summers, D. Longman Dictionary of English Language & Culture (English-Chinese) [Z]. Beijing: The Commercial Press, 2005.

蔡光天.当代实用英语精华[M].上海:华东理工大学出版社,1999.

戴炜栋.新世纪英汉多功能词典[M].上海:上海外语教育出版社,2003.

费致德.现代英语惯用法词典[Z].北京:商务印书馆,1981.

顾祖良.大学英语词语惯用法问答180例[M]. 苏州:苏州大学出版社,2013.

李在铭.现代英语惯用法词典[Z]. 北京:现代出版社,1995.

陆谷孙.英汉大词典[Z].上海:上海译文出版社,2007.

王文昌.英语搭配大词典[Z].南京:江苏教育出版社,1988.

张道真.现代英语用法词典5 [Z].上海:上海译文出版社,1987.

张培基.英译中国现代散文选1 [M]. 上海:上海外语教育出版社,2007a.

张培基.英译中国现代散文选2 [M]. 上海:上海外语教育出版社,2007b.

张培基.英译中国现代散文选3 [M]. 上海:上海外语教育出版社,2007c.

张培基.英译中国现代散文选4 [M]. 上海:上海外语教育出版社,2012.

章振邦.新编英语语法(教师用书) [M]. 上海:上海外语教育出版社,1999.

赵振才.英语常见问题解答大词典 [Z].西安:世界图书出版社西安公司,2005.

Abstract: Generally speaking, it is comparatively easier to avoid making mistakes in vocabulary and grammar when it comes to translating Chinese into English. However, collocation mistakes would most likely appear when a translator is not careful enough about the English collocations. This paper points out some collocation mistakes in the series of translated Selected Modern Chinese Essays, analyzes the causes for these mistakes through a multitude of examples and corrects the corresponding mistakes.

Key words: modern Chinese essays; English translation; collocation; mistake; correction

作者简介:顾祖良,男,学士,常熟理工学院外国语学院副教授。主要从事英语词汇学、语法学、写作和汉英翻译研究。

通讯地址:江苏省常熟市南三环路99号常熟理工学院外国语学院,邮编215500

E-mail: gzl9080@163.com

(责任编辑:胡德香)

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