Signs You Need to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence情商需要提高的迹象

阿特·马尔克曼/文　罗达/译

If these things are happening， its a sign your emotional intelligence needs some work.

如果发生以下情况，就表明你的情商需要提高。

Emotional intelligence involves knowledge and skills around understanding and managing the motivations and emotional responses of other people. While it isnt always necessary to have emotional intelligence to succeed （particularly as a leader）， in the absence of these skills， you tend to make your job harder.

情商涉及理解和应对他人动机与情绪反应的知识和技能。虽然成功不一定需要情商（特别是对领导而言），但缺乏情商技能往往会增加工作的难度。

When you lack emotional intelligence， other people often do not want to work with you， to engage with your projects， or to go the extra mile to help you succeed. People may go along with you reluctantly because of the authority of your position， but that does not mean that those people can be counted on.

如果你缺乏情商，其他人常常不想和你共事，不想参与你的项目，也不想多费精力助你成功。考虑到你职位的权威性，可能有人会勉强服从你，但那并不意味着这些人可靠。

You can improve your emotional intelligence skills. Indeed， programs like Human Dimensions of Organizations are designed to support this learning. Your first step， though， is to recognize that you need some additional training. Here are three warning signs that your emotional intelligence needs work：

情商技能是可以提高的。事實上，像“组织中的人性维度”之类的培训项目正是为提高情商而设。不过，首先你得认识到自己需要一些额外的情商培训。下文介绍情商需要提高的三个预警迹象。

Unexpected reactions

他人反应出乎意料

A key element of emotional intelligence is the ability to read how people are feeling about a situation and to use that to make educated guesses1 about their goals and motivations. When you lack this sensitivity， you often do and say things that create negative reactions in others including frustration， anger， and annoyance.

情商的一个关键要素是这样一种能力：能读懂他人对某一情境的感受，并据此推测出他们的目标和动机。如果你缺少这种敏感性，你的所说所为往往会引起他人的负面反应，比如沮丧、愤怒和厌烦。

You cant please everybody all the time， and trying to do so will likely make your work life harder. But， you should strive to be aware of who is likely to be upset about actions you have taken so that you can prepare them for outcomes they wont like—or at least be ready for their complaints.

你不可能每时每刻都取悦所有人，试图这样做可能会让你的工作更难进行。但是，你应该尽力去了解谁可能对你采取的行动感到不满，这样你就可以提前沟通，让他们对不喜欢的结果有所准备，或者你至少要准备好应对他们的抱怨。

When you find consistently that you get negative reactions from people around you that you did not anticipate， that is a good sign that you are not being sensitive to their desires and needs. Even if you just come to expect negative reactions from other people without knowing why they occur， that suggests that you would benefit from emotional intelligence training.

当你发现周围的人总是对你作出你意料之外的负面反应，这就是一个明显的迹象，表明你不善于了解他们的愿望和需求。即使你开始预料到别人会有负面反应，但又不知为何如此，那也说明你会从情商培训中获益。

Being passed over

很难得到提拔

If you have ambitions to move into a leadership role at work， then you aim to put yourself in line for2 promotions. Of course， youre not the only one looking for these roles. Many of your colleagues are probably also interested in moving into leadership positions. In addition， there are often people from outside your organization who may also want that responsibility. That means there are many more people interested in leadership roles than there are roles to be filled.

如果你有志在工作中担任领导，那么你就要以成为升职候选人为目标。当然，想当领导的不止你一个。你的许多同事很可能也对领导职位有兴趣。另外，渴望担任领导一职的往往还有组织以外的人。这意味着对领导职位感兴趣的人要比需要填补的领导空位多得多。

To ascend into a leadership role， you have to be prepared for some disappointment. There will be times when you desperately want a particular pos-ition and it goes to someone else. Talk to any leader， and you are likely to find that they can tell you about several roles they were interested in that they did not get.

要晉升到领导层，你必须做好失望的准备。很多时候，你梦寐以求的职位最后会落入另一个人囊中。跟任何一个领导交谈，你都可能会发现，他们可以讲出若干个他们曾经感兴趣但没有得到的职位。

That said， if you are consistently passed over for promotions， there are likely to be some skills that the people filling those positions believe you lack. It can be valuable to get some mentoring from someone you trust to talk frankly about the gaps in your know-ledge and skills. You may not always be told directly that your gap is in emotional intelligence. Instead， you may get feedback that people are hesitant to work with you， that they have concerns about how well you get along with others， or that they wonder how you will motiv-ate your team. Those are all limitations that training in emotional intelligence can help to fix.

即便如此，如果你一直不受提拔，很可能是负责选人的领导认为你不具备某些技能。找你信任的人坦诚地聊一聊你在知识和技能上的不足，获取一些指导，这样可能大有裨益。别人可能并不总是会直接指出你的不足在于情商，而是可能反馈说大家不太情愿与你共事，表示担心你的人际交往状况，或者想知道你会如何激励队伍。这些方面的不足都可以通过情商培训得到弥补。

Denial of requests

请求遭拒

To get things done in any organization， you need resources to make that happen. You might require help from other people， money， or time. Unless youre at the top of the food chain， you will need agreement from other people to provide those resources so that you can carry out a project.

在任何组织中，想要做成事，你都需要资源。你可能需要别人的帮助，要么是资金，要么是时间。除非处于食物链的顶端，否则你就需要别人同意向你提供这些资源，这样你才能开展项目。

A good project proposal requires a lot of emotional intelligence skills. You have to understand the goals of other people in the organization and demonstrate how your project will help them to achieve those goals. You must cultivate support for projects among key stakeholders. You have to engage with other people who will have to help on the project to find things they care about that would lead them to want to be involved. You need to understand when other people find a project risky and respond to their concerns.

一个好的项目提案需要大量情商技能。你必须了解组织中其他人的目标，然后阐明你的项目将如何帮助他们实现目标。你必须争取关键利益相关者对项目的支持。你必须与其他日后不得不在项目中提供帮助的人打好交道，找到他們关切的利益点，从而让他们主动想要参与。当其他人发觉项目有风险时，你需要了解情况，并对他们的担忧作出回应。

Falling short in any of these areas is likely to lead people to deny your requests to support a particular project. In the absence of emotional intelligence， you will often double-down on your project by repeating how important it is and why it is critical to move forward with it. But， the merits of a particular project are always subject to interpret-ation， and so if you dont have motivated supporters for a project， they can often find reasons why they should not allow it to move forward.

如果你在以上任何一个方面做得不够，就可能导致其他人拒绝你对支持某一项目的请求。如果缺乏情商，你就会经常执着于反复说明项目有多重要以及推进项目为何如此关键。但是，一个项目是否有吸引力往往因人而异，所以，如果你的项目没有积极的支持者，反对者通常能找到不让项目推进的理由。

As with getting a promotion， you cant expect every project you propose to get a green light. But， when you find that you are consistently rebuffed in your efforts to try something new， thats a good sign that you have not created allies. Building better emotional intelligence skills is likely to make you more likely to craft and socialize proposals that will engage people in a position to3 move it forward.

就像争取升职的情况一样，你不可能指望你提出的每一个项目都能获准通过。但是，当你发现自己辛苦做的新项目提案总是遭到否决，这就显然说明你没有争取到同盟。强化情商技能会让你精心制作和推广的提案更能吸引有能力推动提案落实的人参与进来。

（译者为“《英语世界》杯”翻译大赛获奖者）

1 educated guess有根据的推测。

2 be in line for有可能获得某物。

3 be in a position to有实力。