读后续写如何写出“点睛”结尾

郭娟

讀后续写要求学生阅读一篇350词以内的英语材料，根据其内容、所给段落开头语将其续写成一篇完整的短文（150词左右）。新高考全国卷I，2021、2022连续两年的读后续写真题都是记叙文。相比其它体裁，记叙文的话题更贴近学生的生活、符合学生的认识水平，有开端、发展、高潮等一波三折的情节内容，语言难度适中，非常适合用于读后续写。记叙文以讲述人物的经历或事件的发展变化过程为主，以表达一个哲理、说明一个观点、弘扬一种美德或表达自己的情感为目的。因此，记叙文总会有一个意味深长的结尾，让读者去体会和感悟。笔者在高三写作教学中发现，考生由于受母语正迁移的影响，在续写时习惯于在结尾处进行点题和升华，但往往会出现点题不到位、不准确甚至偏题的现象，如何给读后续写一个合理的结尾呢？笔者在分析考生点题不当或偏题的原因的基础上，结合记叙文这一文体特征，以2022年高考续写真题为素材，总结出以下策略方法，以期助力备考。

一、 理情节

要使读后续写有一个合理的结尾，首先要理清故事发展的情节。理情节有很多种方法，可以用“5要素”（即setting、character、plot 、conflict和theme）分析法，可以用5W1H（即who、when、where、what、why和how）法，可以用故事山（即exposition、rising action、 climax、falling action和resolution）法等解构故事情节，但是考生考场时间紧迫，分配给读后续写的时间更加紧迫，于是通常会把文章看一遍，就开始构思续写段落并着手写作，于是按照总结段落大意的方式来提取故事发展的关键信息、理清情节可能更符合考生考场实际。比如2022年新高考全国I卷中的所给续写材料共6段，考生基本读一或两遍就可以总结出每个段落的大意，续写材料及段意如下：

It was the day of the big cross-country run. Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route（路线）through thick evergreen forest．

I looked around and finally spotted David， who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence. He was small for ten years old. His usual big toothy smile was absent today. I walked over and asked him why he wasn' with the other children. He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run.

What was wrong？ He had worked so hard for this event！

I quickly searched the crowd for the school's coach and asked him what had happened. “I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him，” he explained uncomfortably. “I gave him the choice to run or not， and let him decide.”

I bit back my frustration（懊恼）. I knew the coach meant well—he thought he was doing the right thing. After making sure that David could run if he wanted， I turned to find him coming towards me， his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward.

David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children， but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid. He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing. That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team. It just took him longer—that's all. David had not missed a single practice， and although he always finished his run long after the other children， he did always finish. As a special education teacher at the school， I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination.

Para1： Students from seven different primary schools were preparing to participate in the big cross-country run.

Para2： David， with his usual big toothy smile absent， decided not to run．

Para3： He trained hard before the run．

Para4：The school's coach was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him．

Para5： I found David coming towards me．

Para6： David couldn't walk or run like other children but was very positive and had a strong determination.

考生根据段落顺序获取故事发展的关键情节后，再根据已给的两个段首句：We sat down together on some steps， but David wouldn't look at me；I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners，很容易推断出，续写第一段主要写作者成功说服David参加比赛的过程，第二段主要写David成功完成比赛的过程。

考生理清故事情节后，才能知道故事的冲突，进而构建合理的续写结尾。若是没有抓住故事发展的关键环节，在结尾时很容易点题不当甚至偏题，以下是一位考生的续写结尾。

I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. Sparing no effort to win， each competitor began to run when the gun sounded. David could hardly keep up with them at first. As time went by， David fell far behind others. However， with strong determination and persistence， David kept on running. Ultimately， he reached the finish line. All of the people around cheered with excitement， giving him big applause. It was not until then that David realized he could finish the things as normal people did.

该考生的结尾句（划线部分）认为David在完成比赛后才意识到自己能像正常孩子一样完成一些事情，这和原文信息不符。所给材料的最后一段已經很清楚交代David积极乐观、有决心毅力并能像正常孩子一样完成一些任务，只是慢一点而已，所以该考生因为没有理清故事关键情节信息而导致续写结尾有些偏题。

二、 明主题

理清故事情节后，考生需要弄清楚故事的寓意，作者想通过这个故事向读者传递什么样的感情、观点或揭示什么样的人生哲理，即作者的写作意图。只有抓住文章的主题意义，明白作者的写作目的，在续写结尾才能进行准确点题或升华。若是对文章主题把握不当，结尾也很容易偏题，以下是一位考生的续写结尾。

I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. As expected， the big cross-country run began. There was no doubt that David spared no effort to run despite he was unable to run like other children completely. Falling far behind others， he never gave up and showed great strength. What impressed me most was that the audience cheered for him and gave him thunderous applause. Ultimately， David approached the final line successfully. So it was important that you shouldn't care for others' eyes on you too much．

该考生认为作者通过这个故事是想告诉这样一个道理：不要太在意他人的眼光。显然，这并不是作者的写作意图，本文是一个身残志坚的男孩David成功完成比赛的故事，赞扬了David的积极乐观以及坚持不懈的精神。由此可见，若是不能抓住文章的主旨，深刻理解作者的意图，很容易见木不见林，导致续写结尾不合理。再如：

I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. He looked back at me and I responded with a bright smile. With the cheers of everyone present， the competition began. At first， students from other schools whispered and pointed at him. But as time went by， they were overcome by his tough spirit. David finally finished the running， gasping for breath. Despite being the last one to reach the finish line， he still earned himself admiration and thunderous applause. Everyone is like a flower， some having fragrance， but some not. As long as you bloom， there will be bees and butterflies．

该考生把文章的主题定为：“你若盛开，蝴蝶自来。”和作者的写作意图也不相符，而Daid本身就是一个积极向上、身残志坚的人，所以这样的结尾并不能体现故事的寓意、彰显文章传递的正能量。

三、 抓逻辑

记叙文的情节一波三折，逻辑性特别强，也是续写的重要着眼点，而这也恰恰是考生很容忽略的地方。续写段落的逻辑不能仅仅是考生从自己的生活、自己的人生经验或常识中得出的体现考生个性化的逻辑，更重要的是符合原文的逻辑、符合原文作者的逻辑。考场上由于时间紧迫，考生往往会根据自己的经验常识构建续写结尾，会想到哪里写到哪里而忽略原文自身的逻辑，因此结尾易偏题，如一位考生的续写结尾如下：

I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. When the gun sounded， a lot of runners ran like wind. David struggled， with his small body rocking from side to side. Along the way， some kids from other schools noticed David was different， but out of the coach expectation， they didn't laugh at him but clapped to encourage him. As other runners reached the finish line one by one， I was waiting there， feeling so anxious about whether David could finish the task. After what seemed a century， a small figure finally appeared in the distance. As David crossed the finish line， raising his arms in triumph， the crowd burst out thunderous applause and cheers， including the coach. It was widely acknowledged that our world was full of warmth and kindness rather than rudeness．

该考生之所以得出这样的结论：世间充满温暖和善良而不是粗鲁，是因为该考生的上一句话：“the crowd burst out thunderous applause and cheers.”所有观众都给David鼓掌喝彩，因此人世间是充满爱的，而此因果关系是考生本人从自己角度出发得出的逻辑，并不是作者想要传递的信息，更不是原文的逻辑，甚至和原文并没有很大关系，因此这样的结尾并不妥当。

四、 重融合

读后续写中的“融合度”是非常重要的评分标准。所谓“融合度”是指考生的续写段落在内容和语言上和原文保持一致的程度。融合度高的文章往往就得分较高，反之亦然。考生在续写结尾的时候，要再次回看原文，体会和感悟作者的语言风格以及主题意义，作者往往会把写作主题直接在标题、首段、中间段或尾段中显现出来，或者若隐若现地出现在所给材料的字里行间，因此考生在续写结尾的时候要再次认真研读原文，捕捉主旨以及作者的语言风格，构建融合度高的结尾，写好最后的点睛之笔，如一位考生的续写结尾如下：

I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. When the race began， all the participants dashed out like an arrow. David went his great length to run ahead with his body rocking from side to side. He was still left behind by others in spite of great effort. Soon other participants crossed the finish line one by one while David was running， panting and sweating but didn't give up. Crossing the finish line， David was greeted with a storm of applause. Tired and worn out as he was， his usual big toothy smile showed up again. Never before had I been so proud of him．

該考生的结尾融合度非常高，不仅内容主题上与原文一致而且语言风格也基本一致。该考生捕捉到了原文中对David的表情描写：“His usual big toothy smile was absent today.”此句表明了一向积极乐观的主人公David遇到了困难，因此通常的露齿笑消失了。那么问题解决了吗？该考生在续写结尾的时候用“his usual big toothy smile showed up again”，进行了恰当的回应，微笑的再现表明David的难题得以解决。这样的结尾体现了故事冲突解决的结果，在语言和内容上和原文保持高度的一致，乃考场佳作！

总之，为了能够给读后续写一个合理的结尾，考生需要理情节、明主题、抓逻辑、重融合，无论哪个环节没有到位，都很容易出现点题不准确或偏题现象。理情节是合理结尾的基本保障，明主题是合理结尾的灵魂升华，抓逻辑是合理结尾的必备条件，重融合是合理结尾的重要前提。

【本文系“中小学英语教学研究专项课题：基于深度阅读的高中英语写作任务活动的设计与实施研究（批准号：GDJY-2022-A-yyb84）以及广东省教育科学研究项目重点课题：高中英语阅读教学中学科能力培养的行动研究（批准号：2023ZQJK119）”系列部分研究成果】

责任编辑吴昊雷