抓住“四个关键步骤” 突破英语概要写作

浙江 陈吉凤 王莉红

抓住“四个关键步骤” 突破英语概要写作

浙江 陈吉凤 王莉红

依据《普通高中高等学校招生统一考试英语科考试说明（高考综合改革试验省份试用第一版）》可知，浙江英语高考书面表达变成了应用文写作和读后续写或概要写作。其中概要写作选材词数在350词以内，体裁没有限制，以说明文、议论文和记叙文为主。阅卷时主要考虑（1）对原文要点的理解和呈现情况；（2）应用语法结构和词汇的准确性；（3）上下文的连贯性；（4）表达要点时使用语言的独立性。本文举例阐述如何在高中英语概要写作教学过程中抓住“四个关键步骤”，突破英语概要写作。

一、教学材料再现：阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。

Many of us invest valuable time，energy and money planning our vacations.We do this because we know for sure that going on vacations must be good for us.Research proves this feeling without a doubt.Vacations help us perform better at work, improve our sleep quality and cushion us against depression.

Yet, despite these bene fits, many of us return home with a feeling that our last vacation was OK — but not great.In order to change this, some mistakes should be avoided.A typical one for vacation planners is attempting to maximize value for money by planning trips that have too many things.Perhaps you’re planning a trip to Europe, seven cities in 10 days, and you realize it will cost only a little more to add two more destinations to the list.Sounds fine in theory, but hopping from one place to the next hardly gives an opportunity to experience what psychologists call mindfulness — time to take in our new surroundings, time to be present and absorb our travel experiences.Another mistake is that we worry too much about strategic issues such as how to find a good flight deal, how to get from A to B, or which destinations to add or subtract from our journey.These issues may seem important, but our psychological state of mind is far more important.

Actually, vacation happiness is based on the following top rules.First, choose your travel companions wisely, because nothing contributes more signi ficantly to a trip than the right companions.Second, don’t spend your vacation time in a place where everything is too expensive so as to maintain a positive mood.Third, shop wisely, for meaningful experiences provide more long-term happiness than physical possessions.

二、四个关键步骤

依据浙江高考英语概要写作的要求和评分标准，举例阐述高中英语概要写作四个关键步骤：(一)在搭建文本支架基础之上提取主题句和支撑性细节；(二)浓缩已提取信息；(三)运用同义替换和句式转换两种手段转换已浓缩信息；(四)合理利用连接词语把转换后的信息连句成文。

关键步骤一： 搭建文本结构支架，提取主题句和支撑性细节

为了顺利完成概要写作要求，教师要多角度、多层次地指导学生阅读原材料。要求学生找出文章的主题和各段的主题句(Topic Sentences)及其相关支撑信息(Supporting Details)，并在此基础上完成文本结构思维导图。用思维导图呈现原材料的篇章结构，一方面使得学生对原材料的思维直观化和条理化，另一方面使得学生能够建构对文章的整体认知，从而保留了阅读的完整性。主题句是用以概括文学、艺术作品的中心思想，内容核心，作者的写作意图，表达的思想感情等的句子；其相关支撑信息为作者提供了佐证材料。

图一：文本结构思维导图

通过学生独立阅读、分组讨论、教师搭建支架，各段的主题句(Topic Sentences)及其相关支撑信息(Supporting Details)即可以展示如下：

图二：主题句和支撑性细节展示图

关键步骤二：指导学生浓缩主题句和支撑性细节

概要写作应当去除无关紧要的细节，使用简明扼要的语言,应指导学生在已提取的关键信息基础之上浓缩句子。浓缩主题句时应该去掉举例、具体数据和修饰词(如定语等)，找出句子主干，确保句子的主谓宾完整。

1.浓缩主题句

根据图二：主题句和支撑性细节展示图可知，第一、三两段的主题句是简单句，暂时不必浓缩。第二段的主题句中明显包含了重复性成分“—but not great”，需要去除。

2.浓缩主要支撑性细节

细节的功能是支撑要点，因此概要写作时应该省略与文章大意无关的清单型细节、事例、理由等次要支撑性信息。据此，第二段要点写作时应该省略“A typical one for vacation planners is attempting to maximize value for money”和“Another mistake is that we worry too much about strategic issues”之后的具体事例。第三段要点写作时应该省略以下两个原因状语和一个目的状语“because nothing contributes more signi ficantly to a trip than the right companions, so as to maintain a positive mood, for meaningful experiences provide more long-term happiness than physical possessions”。

3.灌输两种策略，教会独立表达

写概要主要是把具体的信息用一些具有概括功能的词和句表述出来，不能抄袭文章的句子，不能把细节性的信息作为中心，而要通过对文章中的单词和句子进行合理转换，重组文章的信息，再用合适的语言进行表述，从而体现考生的概括、重构与产出的能力。经过上述提取和浓缩信息两个步骤之后，原材料概要写作的初稿是：Vacations are good for us.Many of us came back from vacations with a feeling that our last vacation was not great.To make our vacations pleasant, two mistakes should be avoided.One mistake is that planners are attempting to maximize value for money.Another mistake is that we worry too much about strategic issues.Actually, vacation happiness is based on the following top rules.First, choose your travel companions wisely.Second, don’t spend your vacation time in a place where everything is too expensive.Third, shop wisely.

本初稿包含了各个段落的主题句和主要支撑性细节，但显然它不符合《考试说明》的若干规定：（1）上下文无连接词，缺乏连贯性；（2）各要点表达均采用原文中的词汇，缺乏独立性；（3）字数为88词，超过规定。下一环节应该聚焦在对上一环节中提取的主题句和支撑性细节进行独立表达上。

关键步骤三：运用同义替换和句式转换两种手段转换已浓缩信息

1.同义替换。同义替换，顾名思义是用意思相同的语句替换，也就是说，换个意思相同的说法。替换结果如下：

图三：同义替换

2.句式转换。句式转换就是保持句子内容基本不变,根据表达和理解的需要把某种句式转换为另外一种句式。替换结果如下：

图四：句式转换

注意：对于单词数量较多，句式相同的多个句子可以同时采用同义替换和句式转换策略。如第三段的主要支撑性细节“First, choose your travel companions wisely.Second,don’t spend your vacation time in a place where everything is too expensive.Third, shop wisely.”就可以改写成“Choose the companions, never spend time in a place where everything is too expensive, and shop wisely.（下划线为本句关键词）”。同样句式的句子可以合成一句，因此在标出句中的关键词后，不难发现本句可以独立表达为“Choose the right companions and destinations and shop wisely.”。

关键步骤四：添加连接词，连句成篇

经过提取主题句与支撑性细节、浓缩信息和独立表达三个步骤之后，教师再指导学生在完成概要写作定稿时应合理添加连接词语并确保概要字数在规定范围内。最终原材料概要写作定稿如下：

Vacations bene fit everyone, but many people come back from vacations not feeling very great.（要点一，概括原材料第一段） To make our vacations happy, we should avoid two mistakes — trying to achieve the fullest value for what we invest into vacations and worrying too much about vacation arrangements.（要点二，概括原材料第二段）Besides, we should follow some rules such as choosing the right companions and destinations and being wise in doing shopping.（要点三，概括原材料第三段）

总之，概要写作的第一步是理解语篇结构，然后提取各个段落主题句和支撑性细节，在此基础上浓缩已提取的信息，运用同义替换和句式转换两种手段转换已浓缩的信息，再合理利用连接词语把转换后的信息连句成篇，最后检查核对以确保概要符合考试要求。

陈吉凤 浙江省宁波市滨海国际合作学校 王莉红 浙江省宁波市北仑区岷山学校）