青年危机

By Amirah Ahmad

马上就是20岁生日了，突然感觉自己老了！一想到生命已经度过五分之一，再也回不到十七八岁就会有种莫名的忧伤。回忆逝去的年华，梳理过去20年的对与错，竟然会有意想不到的收获。

My birthday is tomorrow， which means I will have lived for exactly 20 years tomorrow at 3：32 p.m. Thats two entire decades. For the first time in my life， I actually feel old.

For my readers who are over 25， I understand why you may think that me feeling old at 20 is completely ridiculous1. However， the fact that I wont be in my teens scares me. Teen pop sensations like Shawn Mendes and Hailee Steinfeld are actually younger than me.2 The fact that I have already lived about 20% of my life is daunting， which is why I decided that this is the perfect time for reflection.3 I encourage you to stick with me as I reflect on the biggest mistakes， accomplishments， and lessons that Ive learned thus far.

I am certainly not proud of the mistakes and regrets in my life， but I am indubitably4 glad that I made them. Without making mistakes， I never would have learned the lessons and principles that I live by5 now. For example， I was 15 years old when my brother got married. His marriage was in March， and my sister-in-laws family was here for about one and a half weeks to spend time with our family and tour Washington D.C. I never took a day off6 of school during that week. I completed all of my homework every day. I studied for all of my exams. What was my mistake， you may ask？ My mistake was my responsibility. My determination to succeed was getting in the way of family. I never spent any time with my sister-in-law or her family before they left for Pakistan and Canada， respectively.7 While everyone shared laughs and good food， I was cooped up8 in my room completing homework assignments. It was not until one of the last few days of the festivities when someone brought up9 what I was doing wrong. My parents were used to me being extremely studious， so they didnt think to release me from my cage of obsessive studying and working.10 One night， both of our families were at a Chinese restaurant. As everyone was joking around， I was discreetly studying for my biology exam the next day under the table， occasionally looking up to laugh and then promptly bowed my head down to study some more.11 My sister-in-laws father was sitting beside me when he nudged12 my arm and asked me what I was doing. I told him I was studying. He didnt say anything at first. I noticed the crows feet next to his eyes， the solemn smile on his face， and the wise， twinkling eyes of an old man.13 “Theres a time and place for everything. Enjoy the moment， Amirah，” he said to me through a kind smile. Being 15 and rebellious14， I didnt think much of it. The thought of failing my biology exam interfered with me actually heeding his advice.15 It was months later when I realized how much I had missed out on16. I missed out on the fun lunches， the bowling17 adventures， the late-night talks. I dont even remember if I did well on my biology exam， or what my overall grade for that class was. What I do know is that family and friends are of the utmost importance， even if that means skipping a few days of school.18

After two decades， Ive also learned the following extremely important lessons： Dont care about other peoples opinions and do whatever you would like to do， even if it breaks the “norm19.” Smile at everyone， because a smile can truly make someones day20. Sing and dance in the shower， no matter how horrible it sounds or how weird you think you look， because its one of the most effective stress relievers.21 Be healthy because it makes you feel good. Make your bed in the morning， because even if you come home after one of the worst days of your life， at least one part of your life isnt falling apart.

I hope you take these lessons to heart， because empirically22 they really do work.

Life is chock-full23 of mistakes， but also experiences. I came up with a list of the five best days of my life， as a way to celebrate 20 years of life.

1. My last day with the Care for Education children in Jakarta24. I remember as I embraced all of them. It was one of the happiest but also saddest days of my life. That day I truly acknowledged how tight of a bond I had created with each of the children， but it was also the last day I would get to spend with them.

2. The one night I spent in Inner-Mongolia was absolutely breathtaking， from dawn to dusk.25 I remember gazing at the incredibly bright stars in the clear sky， and waking up early to the sound of moos to watch the sunrise.26

3. The day at an outdoor music festival with my best friend， good food， and great music was also epic27. I still remember the light rain in the evening after hours of sitting and walking in the sun， wrapping it all up28 very nicely.

4. The day in Thailand where my best friend and I rode mopeds29 around the small village we were staying in with my brother and my sister-in-law. That was the same day we went swimming with elephants， which made it all the more wonderful.

5. The day of my brothers wedding. It was just a wonderful family reunion filled with good laughs， great food， and happy memories.

I know my personal mistakes and greatest experiences may not have an impact on you， but perhaps what I have learned thus far in my life may have somewhat of an effect. All in all， I have learned that travelling and adventures are lifes greatest gifts. Experiencing different cultures， exploring different nooks and crannies of the world，30 speaking to different people， and trying new foods is honestly the most rewarding part of life to me. Travel， of course， comes second to my family and my friends. There is no exam， grade， assignment， or class that surpasses31 the importance of my loved ones. As I sit here， concluding my thoughts， I cant help but think of my sister-in-law who is currently nine months pregnant， about to go into labor32 any minute. Its ironic33 how as I conclude 20 years of my life， another precious life is coming into existence. It couldnt be at a more perfect time， since I have so much advice to share with it.

1. ridiculous： 可笑的。

2. sensation： 引起轰动的人或事物；Shawn Mendes： 肖恩·蒙德兹，1998年出生，加拿大歌手； Hailee Steinfeld： 海莉·斯坦菲尔德，1996年出生，美国女演员。

3. 大约五分之一的人生已经度过，这个事实让我惶恐，我决定是时候反思一下过去了。daunting： 使人畏缩的；reflection： 反思，沉思。

4. indubitably： 不容置疑地。

5. live by： 遵守。

6. take off： 请假。

7. Pakistan： 巴基斯坦；respectively： 分别地，各自地。

8. coop up： 把……关起来。

9. bring up： 提出。

10. 我父母已经习惯了我的勤奋用功，所以他们从来没有想过要把我从对学习和工作的沉迷中解放出来。studious： 用功的；obsessive： 痴迷的。

11. discreetly： 不引人注意地； promptly： 迅速地；bow： 低下头。

12. nudge：（用肘）轻推。

13. crows feet： 鱼尾纹；solemn： 严肃的；twinkling： 闪亮的。

14. rebellious： 叛逆的。

15. interfere with： 干扰，妨碍；heed： 留心，接受。

16. miss out on： 错过机会。

17. bowling： 保龄球。

18. utmost： 最大的；skip school： 逃学，翘课。

19. break the norm： 打破常规。

20. make sb.s day： 使某人快活。

21. shower： 洗澡，淋浴；weird： 奇怪的；reliever： 缓解物。

22. empirically： 根据经验地。

23. chock-full： 充满的。

24. Jakarta： 雅加达，印度尼西亚首都。

25. Inner-Mongolia： 内蒙古； breathtaking： 令人惊叹的；dawn： 黎明；dusk： 黄昏。

26. incredibly： 难以置信地；moo： （牛）哞哞叫。

27. epic： 史诗般的。

28. wrap up： 包起来。

29. moped： 轻型摩托车。

30. nook： 小角落；cranny： 缝隙。

31. surpass： 超越。

32. go into labor： 分娩。

33. ironic： 讽刺的。