什么阻止了你改变？

By Allan Zuck

Why Dont People Do Whats Good for Them？

漫漫人生路，需要不停地做出选择和不断地改变。但是面对这些选择和改变，我们往往会显得有些矛盾。有时候我们明明知道是有益之事，对我们好处良多，但是最终却没有选择，这是为什么呢？其中缘由，让我们一探究竟。

Why would people not be motivated to make changes that could improve their life？

And the answer is： Its a trick question1. People are motivated to do whats good for them. The problem is that “whats good for them” is often nowhere near as obvious as it sounds2—and that， even if they can figure out what that is， they may not believe that it will be possible for them to do it. Simply put， at the heart of the myth of being “unmotivated” lies the frustrating， demoralizing， completely human state of ambivalence.3

Imagine you begin to realize that something about your current behavior or situation might be a problem for you. You start thinking about making a change—and almost immediately you think about what making that change would cost you. Sure， losing weight and getting into shape will improve your health， give you more energy and zest， enhance your self-esteem.4 But it may also require you to give up sleep to work out in the morning， or lose precious time with family in the evenings； you may have to give up some of your favorite foods （and the comfort they bring） or tolerate feeling hungry （and the discomfort it causes）.

When it comes to important life decisions， just about every option a person is faced with has costs （real and perceived5） as well as benefits. To resolve your ambivalence you have to believe that the benefits of pursuing a path dramatically outweigh the costs—that the advantages of one option are clearly superior to the advantages of others.6 But what do I mean by “dramatically outweighs”？ How superior is “clearly superior”？

Imagine that I told you there existed a special pill7 that， if taken once a day， would cause you to live to be 100 and never be sick a day in your life. Would you take it？ Of course—the benefits of the pill far outweigh the minor inconvenience. But now imagine I told you that to receive the pill you would have to agree never to see any of the people you love again. Would you accept this bargain？

A long， healthy life is something that almost anyone would want—even make sacrifices for. Yet most of us value the people we love even more than we value our health—and when competing options provoke a conflict of values， you will almost always choose the option that you care about the most， even if it does bring costs of its own or seems wrong-headed to the people around you.8

But lets imagine youve decided that a particular change would bring many benefits and few costs and that it would be completely consistent with9 your values. Can we anticipate10 with certainty that you will take action to make that change？ Not necessarily. If you expected your efforts to fail， the chances are very good that11 you wouldnt even bother to try. And why should you？

Resolving ambivalence requires not only knowing the path that is right for you but also feeling confident about pursuing it—believing you can succeed at accomplishing what you hope to accomplish. If you believe you have a problem， but dont believe theres anything youre capable of doing to solve it， you have only two options： denial or despair. That is， you can tell yourself that you really dont have a problem （or that its not so bad） or you can face the idea that the problem is really serious but completely unsolvable and be consumed by12 hopelessness.

What influences how confident a person feels about succeeding at something？ The most powerful factor is our previous experience of success and failure： successes build confidence and failures erode it， unless we decide the failure was just a setback and well be able to succeed if we try a different approach.13 But its not just our history with a particular pursuit that shapes our beliefs about what we can accomplish； perceived successes in one area build confidence that we can succeed in others， just as perceived failures in one area can dent14 our confidence in general. And how we feel about ourselves overall—our general self-evaluation or self-esteem—can also play a role in whether we feel able to tackle any given challenge that we face.15

People are motivated to do whats good for them. When they see a clear direction forward—one that is consistent with their values and that they believe they can accomplish—theyre very likely to move ahead. What most people need to get unstuck16 is help deciding whats right for them and believing in their ability to get there.

1. trick question： 有意捉弄人的问题，带有陷阱的问题。

2. 问题是“有益之事”本身远不及它听起来那么显而易见。nowhere near as： 差得远，远不及。

3. frustrating： 令人沮丧的，使人挫败的；demoralizing： 令人士气低落的，使人泄气的；ambivalence： 矛盾心理。

4. get into shape： 强身健体；zest： 热情，兴趣；self-esteem： 自尊。

5. perceived： 意识上的，感知的。文中的perceived cost意为“感知成本”，指人们在做出某一选择的过程中感觉到的支出总和。

6. 解决这种矛盾心理的唯一办法就是你必须相信选择一条路的收益远远高出它的代价，也就是说这一选择的好处明显多于其他选择。resolve： 解决；outweigh： 比……重要，胜过； superior to： 优于，胜于。

7. special pill： 特效药。

8. 然而比起健康，我们大多数人还是更重视我们爱的人，当不同选择引发了价值冲突时，往往我们最重视什么就会做怎样的选择，即使这种选择要付出代价或者在外人看来根本就是错误的。provoke： 引发； conflict： 冲突；wrong-headed： 错误的，执迷不悟的。

9. be consistent with： 与……一致。

10. anticipate： 预见，预测。

11. the chances are very good that： 很有可能。

12. be consumed by： 充满。

13. 影响最大的因素是我们之前的成败经历，成功帮助我们建立信心，而失败则会削弱自信，除非我们认定失败只是一个小挫折，只要我们改变方法定能成功。erode： 削弱；setback： 挫折。

14. dent： 打击，削弱。

15. 面对挑战我们是否有信心去解决问题也取决于我们整体的自我感觉，包括整体的自我评价和自我尊重。overall： 整体的，综合的；self-evaluation： 自我评价。

16. get unstuck： 走出困境。