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如此“Cue”,让续写与前文“融洽无间”

2023-07-11黄馥

广东教育·高中 2023年6期
关键词:爆米花双胞胎墨西哥

黄馥

什么样的续写才是好的续写?对于这个问题,读后续写的优秀档次要求告诉我们:与所给文章融洽度高,与所提供的各段落开头语衔接合理。创造了新颖、丰富、合理的内容,富有逻辑性,续写完整。使用了多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构,表达流畅,可能有些许小错误,但完全不影响理解。自然有效地使用了段落间、语句间的衔接成分,全文结构清晰,前后呼应,意义连贯。

其中,关于“与所给文章融洽度高”和“前后呼应”的要求,就是要求我们在续写时要复现前面故事的信息或者呼应前文埋下的伏笔,让续写的部分与前面的故事“融洽无间”。我们可以从小至词语、大到片段来“Cue”读后续写的故事前文。

一、词语复现

故事描写中有时会出现一些词语,要么形象地描述人物特征,要么精准地概括了事物的特点,抓住这些词,续写时再用上它们,就如同使用上了“粘合剂”,让故事前文和后文衔接起来了。

例如:2022年新高考全国Ⅰ卷读后续写“鼓励脑疾儿童不放弃比赛”故事中的阅读部分有关于主人公David的外貌描写:He was small for ten years old. His usual big toothy smile was absent today.那么在续写到最后David完成了比赛,我们可以复现一下David的这个“露出牙齿的”笑容:When he finished the run, everyone cheered, and his toothy smile brightened his face.

再例如:2021年1月八省聯考模拟试题读后续写“车子抛锚,路遇一个墨西哥家庭的相助”故事中的阅读部分有关于墨西哥一家人出场的描写:Right as I was about to give up, a Mexican family in a small truck pulled over, and the father bounded out.那么在续写中写到墨西哥一家人驱车离开时,就可以复现一下这辆小货车:I waved them goodbye, seeing their small truck moving off.

二、句子呼应

读后续写阅读部分有时会出现一些关于个人想法或计划安排的句子,对故事情节发展会有暗示作用,找到这些句子,在续写中呼应它们,顺应原故事发展续写故事,这样整篇文章就能“浑然一体”。

例如:2022年新高考全国Ⅰ卷读后续写“鼓励脑疾儿童不放弃比赛”故事中的阅读部分有关于“我”对David的看法: As a special education teacher at the school, I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his determination.那么在续写中写到“我”鼓励David不要放弃比赛就可以呼应前文这个句子:I patted him on the shoulder, saying, “David, I know the challenges you face, but I am always proud of your determination. Come on.”

再例如:2021年1月八省联考模拟试题读后续写“车子抛锚,路遇一个墨西哥家庭的相助”故事中的阅读部分有关于小女孩与主人公的交流:I asked the little girl where they lived. Mexico, she said. They were in Oregon so Mommy and Daddy could work on a fruit farm for the next few weeks. Then they would go home.那么在续写中写到与这一墨西哥家庭道别时就可以呼应前文这个句子:I thanked the girl and wished her and her parents to have a good time on the fruit farm for the next few weeks.

三、片段重述

故事中有些关于动作过程或环境场景的描述片段,给读者生动的画面感,在续写时,根据情节需求,重述这些片段,回顾了前文,故事读起来更顺畅合理。

例如:2021年新高考全国Ⅰ卷读后续写“双胞胎Jeff和Jenna在母亲节给母亲做早餐”故事中的阅读部分有关于双胞胎做早餐的动作描写:They decided to boil the porridge first. They put some rice into a pot of water and left it to boil while they made the French toast. Jeff broke two eggs into a plate and added in some milk. Jenna found the bread and put two slices into the egg mixture. Next, Jeff turned on the second stove burner to heat up the frying pan.。那么在续写中写到爸爸协助双胞胎完成这顿母亲节的爱心早餐时就可以重述这个片段:Their father asked Jeff to boil the porridge and watch out of the pot and then Jenna broke another two eggs, added in some milk and put another two slices of bread into the egg mixture. Finally, their father helped her fry the bread.

再例如:2020年山东卷读后续写“Meredith一家帮助贫困邻居男孩Bernard卖爆米花创业”故事中的阅读部分有关于热心助人的Mrs. Meredith的三个孩子之一John提出的帮助贫困男孩Bernard创业的主意描写:“I tell you what we can do,” said John. “You know that big box of corn Uncle John sent us? Well, we can make popcorn(爆米花), and put it into paper bags, and Bernard can take it around to the houses and sell it.”。那么在续写中写到John将这个想法告诉Bernard,或者写到Meredith一家如何帮助Bernard将这个想法付诸于实践,或者写到Bernard如何自己去制作爆米花和贩卖爆米花,都可以重述一下这个片段:Mrs. Meredith and her children told Bernard the idea: They could make the corn which was from Uncle John into popcorn and then the popcorn could be put into paper bags and sold.

注意:在前文片段重述时可以通过增删信息内容、调换句子顺序、改变表达句型等方式,避免大段抄袭原文的嫌疑。

读后续写题型就是协同写作,和原文故事作者一起把这个故事写完、写好。所以,我们在进行写作时,多挖掘前文作者有心埋下的线索,尝试本文介绍的三种方法:词语复现、句子呼应和片段复述,既可以达到有话可说,充实内容的作用,又可以与原文融为一体,提升续写的融洽度,让我们的故事续写得更有水准。

责任 编辑 吴昊雷

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