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基于主题意义备考读后续写—成长篇

2023-05-30唐孝云

广东教育·高中 2023年3期
关键词:亲友团陌生人语料

唐孝云

一、概述

读后续写语篇选材涵盖不同的主题,表达不同的主题意义。对主题意义的理解程度会影响考生语言知识和语言技能的运用。在高中英语读后续写备考过程中,考生应首先分析语篇主题,挖掘主题意义,根据故事主人公的心路历程和行为表现设计故事情节,运用积累的语料遣词造句谋篇布局,进而有效地提高写作能力。本文主要分析与探讨以成长为主题意义的读后续写语篇,通过实例解析如何基于主题意义备考读后续写。

二、“成长”主题意义分析

每个人的成长都不会一帆风顺,在生活和学习中会遇到挫折与挑战。在以成长为主题意义的读后续写语篇中,当主人公面对挫折与挑战时,主人公身边的人,包括同学朋友、亲人老师、陌生人等,会有不同的行为表现,对主人公的成长起到不同的作用。熟悉的同学朋友、亲人老师会提供帮助,支持并鼓励主人公;陌生人有时候也会鼓励和帮助主人公,而有时候则会表现得漠不关心、怀疑甚至嘲笑,但是往往在故事的最后他们会被主人公的表现所感染。而主人公自己会在挫折与挑战中认识自我,战胜自我,完善自我,形成正确的人生态度,理解生命的意义与价值,最终得到成长。

总之,以“成长”为主题意义的读后续写故事通常出现的人物可分为三方面:主人公、亲友团和陌生人。其中,亲友团指的是同学、朋友、亲人、老师等熟悉的人;陌生人则指的是不熟悉的同学朋友、路人、观众等。这三方面的人物在故事中的心路历程和行为表现可以总结如下表所示:

三、语料积累

根据成长主题意义的分析,积累整合有关故事人物的心路历程和行为表现的语料。

四、实例分析

(2022新高考全国I卷)阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。

It was the day of the big cross-country run. Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route(路线) through thick evergreen forest.

I looked around and finally spotted David, who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence. He was small for ten years old. His usual big toothy smile was absent today. I walked over and asked him why he wasn't with the other children. He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run.

What was wrong? He had worked so hard for this event!

I quickly searched the crowd for the school's coach and asked him what had happened, “I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him,” he explained uncomfortably, “I gave him the choice to run or not, and let him decide.”

I bit back my frustration (懊惱). I knew the coach meant well— he thought he was doing the right thing. After making sure that David could run if he wanted, I turned to find him coming towards me, his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward.

David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children, but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid. He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing. That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team. It just took him longer — that's all. David had not missed a single practice,and although he always finished his run long after the other children, he did always finish. As a special education teacher at the school, I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination.

注意∶

1. 续写词数应为 150左右;

2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

Paragraph 1: We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn't look at me.

Paragraph 2: I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.

1. 原文故事分析

原文讲述了主人公David的成长故事。David因为脑部疾病行走、跑步异于常人。在学校里,他的同学没有区别对待他,而他自己也会尽全力去完成参加的每一次活动。这一次他参加了有七所学校共同参与的大型越野跑比赛。在比赛开始前,教练出于好心怕他被嘲笑,让他自己决定要不要参加。于是,他犹豫了,想要放弃比赛。

2. 续写分析

根据故事的主题意义,主人公David 经过此事之后会得到成长。根据两段段首句提示,“I”在第一段会开导并鼓励David,于是他决定参加比赛;第二段则是描写David坚持不懈地完成比赛,并得到同学朋友以及其他学校学生的肯定和赞许。

3. 情节构建

根据故事的主题意义和续写分析,推断故事中不同人物的心路历程和行为表现,构建续写情节:David(主人公)感到纠结陷入沉思→“I”(亲友团)开导并鼓励他→David(主人公)战胜恐惧决定參加比赛→同学朋友(亲友团)为他加油→David超越自我完成比赛→其他学校学生(陌生人)也为他加油→David(主人公)感受到成功的喜悦→David感谢“I”(亲友团)的帮助。

4. 续写故事

根据续写分析和构建的情节,运用准备好的语料进行续写:

We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn't look at me. He just sat there with head drooping. I patted him on the shoulder gently and encouraged, “David, cheer up! You have attended every single practice as others did. No one has treated you differently up to now.” He lifted his head and looked at me with doubt. “Just participate to the best of your ability as usual. No one but only you can stop you from doing the things you really want to do,” I continued. Hearing my words, he sank into deep thought with his eyes glistening. A moment later, he looked into my eyes with determination and told me that he would take part in the race and made every effort to finish it. Plucking up all his courage, he stood up. (127 words)

I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners. Standing among them, he took a deep breath and waited for the starting gun. The moment the gun was heard, all runners dashed out from the starting line like an arrow while David just swung his feet forward slowly. Soon, he was left far behind, which made him anxious. Therefore, he quickened his pace, but fell over unfortunately. Everyone fixed their eyes on him. Instead of laughing at him, students from other schools, together with his classmates, cheered for him. Hearing their cheers, without hesitation, David picked himself up and went on running. As soon as he made it across the finishing line, loud cheers and thunderous applause broke out. Later, David, with a big toothy smile on his face, walked towards me and gave me a big hug.(129 words)

五、模拟训练

(2022年深圳二模)阅读下面材料, 根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段, 使之构成一篇完整的短文。

On a hot September afternoon, Peter and his friend Isabel were on their way to the library. When they passed by Tubman park, Isabel suggested cutting through it to get to the library. As they entered the park, the sight of the swings (秋千) and the merry-go-round brought back a flood of memories of their childhood spent there. But now everything looked so old, sad, and dirty. Litter lay on the ground next to an overflowing trash bin. There were still young schoolchildren playing there but they had to avoid the trash that littered the playground. A little boy told them that the city took the other trash cans away and the remaining one never got emptied often.

As they headed toward the library, the two high school students wrinkled their forehead. In the library, they encountered Mrs. Evans, their kind-hearted fifth-grade teacher, retired yet still passionate. Mrs. Evans listened as Isabel and Peter eagerly explained what they'd seen. Finally, she recommended them to go to the City Hall to voice their concerns.

The next day, Isabel and Peter went into the building of the City Hall but were met with an impatient officer. They were informed that the city couldn't help with their problem due to a tight budget. Discouraged, they left and turned to Mrs. Evans for help.

Under her guidance, they decided to ask Go Green, a non-profit organization whose goal is to protect the environment, for help. “This group is good at raising money for projects just like yours, ” said Mrs. Evans. She promised to arrange them to present their ideas to Go Green. Hearing this, their face lit up.

Two main tasks remained ahead: researching ways to clean up the park and preparing a convincing presentation. As Isabel was good at researching while Peter always had a talent for speaking, they cooperated quite well. Isabel learned from a science magazine

that a new type of trash bin can squeeze the trash down without being emptied often, which saves time, money, and energy. Based on this, Peter practiced his presentation over and over again.

注意:

1. 續写词数应为150左右;

2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

Paragraph 1: A week later, Peter stood nervously at the back of the hall where Go Green was meeting.

Paragraph 2: After the meeting, Isabel excitedly told Peter the good news.

【参考范文】

A week later, Peter stood nervously at the back of the hall where Go Green was meeting. He was so nervous that he could feel nothing but his hands shaking and heart beating. Isabel walked towards him and patted him on the shoulder gently, encouraging him, “Peter, you will definitely do it well as you have practiced it over and over again.” Hearing Isabel's words, Peter cheered up and looked into her eyes with determination. Finally, it was his turn. He took a deep breath, stepped onto the stage and began his presentation. The members of Go Green listened to him carefully and nodded with approval from time to time. The moment Peter finished his presentation, a burst of applause broke out.(109 words)

After the meeting, Isabel excitedly told Peter the good news. The Go Green decided to make very effort to raise money for their project. As soon as Peter heard the news, he leaped into the air with joy, exclaiming, “Yes! We made it!” Then they shared the good news with Mrs. Evans and expressed their heartfelt gratitude to her. “It is your hard work and perseverance that count. Im so proud of you two,” Mrs. Evans said with a satisfied look. Within weeks, enough money was raised and the new trash bins were purchased. When Peter and Isabel walked in the Tubman park again, they found it was clean and tidy as it used to be. Their sweat finally paid off. (117 words)

六、结语

总之,考生在备考读后续写过程中,首先,要深度挖掘语篇的主题意义,理解语篇主题领悟内涵;同时,考生需要归纳并总结出同一主题下主人公可能的心路历程和行为表现,并推断和设计可能的故事情节;其次,在备考过程中,考生要不断地积累与主题相关的语料。最后,考生才能够在真正的考试过程中运用恰当的语言续写出不偏离主题情节合理的故事。

责任编辑吴昊雷

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