Frightful’s Mountain (Excerpt VI)

文/琼·克雷格黑德·乔治 译析/吴文安

The sun was held back by rain clouds the morning Frightful saw Sam and Mole come home from their wanderings.Sam whistled hello, but she did not reply.She was cornered with Oksi. This day had dawned cold, Chup was out hunting,and she had to brood the eyas.

[2] Just as Sam and Mole went into the tree house, Chup came home to feed and brood Oksi, and Frightful took off. She sped with the air currents into a thermal that spiraled her high above Delhi. At the top of the warm air bubble, she peeled off and dove straight down. She landed on the cupola of the county courthouse.

[3] Frightful drew herself up tall.The courthouse pigeon flock was winging into sight. She knew each pigeon personally. She knew the healthy and quick on wing. She knew the dumb and the clumsy. And she knew those with the highly contagious pox virus. She selected one of these and struck. The virus died with the bird, and she carried it back to Oksi.

一天早上，积雨云遮挡了太阳，“惊悚”看到山姆和“鼹鼠”闲逛之后回家。山姆朝她吹了声口哨打招呼，但她没回答。她正跟奥克西在一起呢。今天清晨很冷，丘普外出打猎了，她必须庇护幼鸟。

[2]山姆和“鼹鼠”走进树屋的时候，丘普回来了，他来喂奥克西并庇护她，“惊悚”就飞走了。她乘着气流飞行，进入一股热气流，盘旋升到德里的高空。在热气泡的顶端，她转变方向俯冲而下。她降落在县法院大楼的圆屋顶上。

[3]“惊悚”又高高飞了起来。法院大楼的鸽群飞进视野。她能分清每一只鸽子。她知道哪些身体健康和飞得很快。她也知道哪些呆乎乎和笨手笨脚。她还知道有些鸽子感染了高度传染性的痘病毒。她选中了其中一只并一击而中。鸽子死掉，病毒也就随之而亡，“惊悚”把它叼回家给奥克西。

[4] When Frightful returned with food that day, Chup was freed from his nest brooding. Oksi was old enough to be left alone while Frightful hunted. He flew from tall tree to the tallest, spread his wings, and soared far from Frightful’s Mountain. He had never been comfortable in the forest. He was a bird of the cliffs, open river valleys, and the bottoms of clouds. Spread-winged, he rode an air current to a cliff in Catskill Park, a three-minute falcon flight from Oksi. He was still concerned about her.

[5] While Sam and Mole were away,Oksi had changed. The tips of her flight feathers had grown in, and she could stand and walk. She jumped on leaves that blew into the box and watched every bird that flew past. But the greatest change of all was that she jabbed a foot at Frightful when she came into the box with food.

[6] Chup returned to the box one day to find no food at the aerie. He flew down to the river and brought back a duck. Alighting on the box, he was met by Oksi’s two yellow feet and black talons. He left the food and took off.

[7] As she grew and changed, the wooden box intrigued Oksi. It was far different from her first home. It did not look out on a vast landscape, but on a hemlock forest. From it she did not see ducks, but frogs and songbirds. The wind around her did not jet, but swirled and bumped. Instinctively she disliked it, but because her parents fed her here,she became accustomed to it.

[4]那天“惊悚”带着食物回来后，丘普就不需要在窝里庇护幼鸟了。奥克西已长大，“惊悚”外出猎食时，奥克西可以单独在家。丘普从大树上直飞最高的树端，展翅翱翔，远离了“惊悚”的山林。在森林里生活，他一直不舒服。他是一只属于悬崖、开阔河谷和云端的雄鹰。丘普展开双翼，乘着一股气流来到卡斯基尔公园的一个悬崖上。从这里飞回奥克西身边对游隼而言只需三分钟。丘普仍然惦记着奥克西。

[5]山姆和“鼹鼠”不在的时候，奥克西变化很大。她飞羽的尖端已经长出，她也能够站立和行走。一些树叶被风吹到木箱里，她在树叶上蹦蹦跳跳。她注视着飞过的每一只鸟儿。但奥克西最大的变化是，当“惊悚”带着食物飞回木箱时，她朝着“惊悚”戳了一脚。

[6]有一天，丘普回家看到鸟巢里没有食物。他就飞到河边抓了一只野鸭回来。丘普降落到木箱上，奥克西却用两只黄脚和黑色的利爪迎接他。丘普只好放下食物飞走。

[7]奥克西不停地长大和变化，也对木箱产生了兴趣。木箱子跟她的第一个家大不一样。木箱前面不是开阔的原野，而是一片铁杉林。从木箱这里，她看到的不是野鸭子，而是青蛙和鸣禽。周围的风不是呼啸而过，而是盘旋游走和四处碰撞。她天生不喜欢这样的景致，但父母是在这里养育她，她也习以为常了。

[8] Sam would sit at his table at mealtimes and watch Oksi. He knew the box in the forest was all wrong for a peregrine, and so he would wonder what would happen when it came time for her to pick her own nesting site. Would she choose a cliff, a bridge—or, he mused almost longingly, would she pick a beautiful hemlock forest like this? Was she imprinted on Frightful’s Mountain?

【背景知识】“惊悚”和配偶丘普一起养育子女，本来住在一座大桥上，但桥梁修缮，被山姆搬到铁杉林里。奥克西是“惊悚”夫妇仅剩的雏鸟。在山姆和自己父母的照料下，奥克西健康成长，也习惯了森林里的生活。那么，游隼会因为生活环境的变化而改变自己的居住习性吗？

【第一段】“鼹鼠”是一只流浪狗，曾是“惊悚”的朋友，后被山姆收养。刚出生的幼鸟羽毛不丰满，不能保持体温，所以需要父母的羽翼遮蔽才能存活。

【第二段】原文使用的动词非常精确，比如speed、spiral、peel off、dove，需要斟酌选择中文词语来保证语言的形象生动。

【第三段】这一段的句子简短有力，而且有排比句，译文也要尽量再现原文的结构。最后一句如直译会是“病毒也会随着鸽子死掉”，但这样会打断语流，使得语义不连贯，因此译文变换了叙事方式为“鸽子死掉，病毒也就随之而亡”。

【第四段】句子“He flew from tall tree to the tallest.”直译会是“他从高树飞到最高的树上。”，在中文里显得别扭，所以译文选择了“大树”。“A bird of…”意思是雄鹰属于悬崖河谷，而不是森林。词语bottoms of clouds直译应该是“云彩底部”，这在中文里少见，所以译为“云端”。

[8]吃饭时，山姆会坐在饭桌旁观察奥克西。山姆知道森林中的木箱子对游隼而言格格不入，因此他在琢磨，等奥克西自己选窝的时候会怎么做。她会选择一个悬崖、一座大桥——或者，他忍不住憧憬，她会不会选择一片同样漂亮的铁杉林呢？奥克西喜欢上“惊悚”的山林了吗？

【第五段】【第六段】奥克西脾气乖戾，另外也已经长大，所以不愿意接近父母，即便是仍然需要喂食。

【第七段】倒数第二句描述风的差异，悬崖和大桥的风迅疾而猛烈，但森林里的风曲折盘旋、四处游走。动词jet和bump都很费思量，需要仔细挑选对应的词语。

【第八段】短语all wrong（大错特错）意为游隼本就不应该住在树林里，而应该在悬崖峭壁上，这里译文引申为“格格不入”。he mused almost longingly意蕴深刻，打动人心，因为山姆知道这一切都不应该，但仍然憧憬着游隼会因为这样的经历而改变习性，回到森林里陪伴他。后来奥克西果然回到森林中定居了，这也遂了山姆的心愿。

【小结】该选段在翻译中有几点需要注意。其一，应了解猎鹰育雏和居住环境的背景知识，不能望文生义；其二，要注意原文中的修辞形式，比如排比句，应尽力再现；其三，原文用词精准生动，译者应仔细斟酌，体会精微之后再恰当传译。 □