猪队友

猪队友

Dummy Friend

My roommate likes to check out her ID card every now and then. I asked her why and she said："Sometimes when I think I grow ugly, I take out my ID card to see my photo on it. Then I will be assured①assured 英 [ə'ʃʊəd] 美 [ə'ʃʊrd] adj. 确定的；自信的that I just worry too much."

我的室友时不时拿出身份证看，我问她原因，她说：“有时候觉得自己变丑了，就拿出身份证看看上面的照片，结果发现自己多虑了。”

I was showing off in my dorm, "Look at my new dress, isn't it pretty?" One roommate said:"Wow! What a pretty dress! Don't you wanna get aplastic surgery②surgery 英 ['sɜːdʒ(ə)rɪ] 美 ['sɝdʒəri] n. 外科；外科手术；手术室；诊疗室to go with it?"

我在宿舍显摆：“你们看我新买的衣服好看不？”一室友说：“哇塞，好好看的衣服呀，你不去整个容搭一下吗？”

Our school demanded of everyone to hand in a one—inch photo with red background. There were two dummies in my dorm: one cut a two-inch photo into halves, while the other painted her one—inch white background photo with her red nail polish, twice! And the nail polish was luminous. Red, and Iuminous… Can you imagine that?

学校让交一张红底的一寸照，我们寝室的两个极品，一个把两寸的照片剪成一寸，一个把白底的一寸照涂上了指甲油，还刷了两层！可是，那指甲油是夜光的，红色，夜光的……你能想象吗？

My roommate said to me:"Look at the moon tonight. Doesn't it just look like the five yuan that I lent to you last week?"

室友问我：“你看今晚的月亮，像不像上周我借给你的5块钱？”

I forgot to take my towel into the bathroom so I had a roommate to get it for me. A few moments later, she brought me a mirror. I was stunned and said to her:"I asked for a towel!" She was more stunned than I was, "Oh, I thought you said mirror I was wondering what the hell you needed a mirror for when you bathed. And a magic mirror…"

有次洗澡忘带毛巾了，喊一室友帮我拿毛巾。不一会儿，她拿了一面镜子给我，我当时就懵了，说：“我要的是毛巾呀？”我室友比我还懵：“哦，我把毛巾听成了魔镜。我还纳闷你洗个澡要啥镜子，还是魔镜……”

A dummy roommate bought a giant teddy bear. He bollowed it out and hid himself in it to escape bedroom checking during every morning exercise. However, he was caught finally. That day, he was hiding inside the bear as usual. When he heard the door shut, he stood up and found the principal③principal 英 ['prɪnsəp(ə)l] 美 ['prɪnsəpl] n. 首长；校长was still there. Our principal was almost scared to death when he saw a big teddy bear standing up.

一个逗比室友买了一只大泰迪熊布偶，把它掏空，每天晨练时就躲布偶里，防止查寝室，可是后来还是被抓了。那天，他和往常一样藏里面，然后听见关门的声音就起来了，谁知道校长没走，他突然看见一只泰迪熊爬起来，差点吓死。