Jokes Hueur集锦

张武

I Was Ashamed

One day， a thief went into a mans house. The man saw the thief and hid himself in a chest. The thief ransacked the house without finding anything worth taking. In the end， he opened the chest and saw the man.

“Aha！” the thief said， “What are you doing inside the chest？”

“I was ashamed there was nothing in my house that would appeal to your taste. Thats why I hid here，” the man said.

不好意思

一天，一个贼偷偷进入了一个男子的家。男主人见贼来了连忙躲进一个箱子里。贼找遍了整个房间，没有找到任何值得偷的东西。最后他打开了那个箱子，看到了躲在里面的男子。

“哈，你在箱子里干什么？”贼问。

“因为我家没有什么能吸引你的东西，我感到不好意思，所以才躲进箱子里。”男子回答说。

The Customer Is Always Right

The manager of a shop was ticking off one of his staff. “I saw you arguing with a customer，” he said crossly， “will you please remember that in my shop the customer is a always right. Do you understand？”

“Yes， sir” said the assistant， “The customer is always right.”

“Now what were you arguing about？”

“Well， sir， he said you were an idiot.”

顾客永远是对的

商店的经理正在斥责他的一个员工：“我看见你和一个顾客在吵架，”他非常恼火地说，“请你记住，在我的店里，顾客永远是对的。你懂了吗？”

“是的，先生，顾客永远是对的。”店员说。

“你刚才为什么和他吵架？”

“噢，先生，他说您是个白痴。”

Whose father was the stronger？

Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said， “Well， you know the Pacific Ocean？ My fathers the one who dug the hole for it.”

Bill wasnt impressed， “Well， thats nothing. You know the Dead Sea？ My fathers the one who killed it！”

谁的父亲更强壮？

威尔和比尔在为谁的父亲更强壮而争吵。威尔说：“喏，你知道太平洋吗？就是我爸爸为它挖的洞。”

比尔不屑一顾：“噢，那没什么。你知道死海吗？那是我爸爸杀死的。”

The Attraction of the Map

Mr. Smith taught English at a school. At the beginning of his lesson， he liked to have one of his students give a report on any subject. When it was Jacks turn， he told his audience about his elder brother who was a local worker. But during the report， his eyes were staring at the world map on the wall all the time. Mr. Smith knew that Jack didnt look at the audience because he was nervous. He said to Jack jokingly， “We can see you miss your brother very much. But is he OK， now in South America？”

地图的吸引力

史密斯先生在一所学校教英语。在每次课的开始，他喜欢叫一个学生上讲台讲演，题材不限。轮到杰克讲演时，他向听众讲述了他的哥哥。他的哥哥就在当地工作。但在讲述的过程中，杰克的眼睛一直盯着墙上的世界地图。史密斯先生知道杰克不敢看听众是因为紧张。他开玩笑似地对杰克说：“我们能看出你非常想念你的哥哥，他现在在南美还好吗？”

Im the Driver

The bus was crowded， and as one more man tried to get on， the passengers wouldnt let him get on.

“Its too crowded，” they shouted. “Who do you think you are？”

“Im the driver，” the man answered.

我是司机

公共汽车上非常拥挤，但还是有一个男子想上车，乘客们就是不让他上来。

“太挤了，”他们喊道，“你以为你是谁？”

“我是司机，”那人回答。