学渣必读：怎样假装读过某本文学名著



学渣必读：怎样假装读过某本文学名著

Moby Dick

《白鲸》

by Herman Melville 赫尔曼·梅尔维尔 著

▌Clearly this one has a nautical theme. Look at the cover！Also， the book's full title is Moby Dick or The Whale. So boats， a whale. It's a well respected book so it's fairly safe to assume②assume英 ［ə'sjuːm］ 美 ［ə'sum］ vt. 承担；假定；采取；呈现vi. 装腔作势；多管闲事The situation assumed a threatening character.形势显得很险恶。that it's not told from the perspective of the whale， therefore there has to be a human character.

显然这是一篇海洋题材的小说啦，不信你看封面！该书的全称是《莫比·迪克》，又名《白鲸》，所以书的内容必定涉及船与鲸。既然是一部饱受赞誉的书，应该不会是从白鲸的角度阐述，所以一定会有个人类角色。

▌Not to be confused with：The Old Man and the Sea or The Rime of the Ancient Mariner.

易与哪些名著混淆：《老人与海》和《老水手之歌》。

▌Handy hint： in Star Trek：First Contact， Captain Picard makes a speech that essentially sums up the plot and point of Moby Dick in about 30 seconds.

小贴士：看看《星际迷航8：第一类接触》这部片子吧，里面有个30秒的演讲片段，就是皮卡德舰长对《白鲸》情节和要点的总结。

Nineteen Eighty-Four

《一九八四》

by George Orwell 乔治·奥威尔 著

▌Set in the year 1984， but written， like， ages before. You know things from this book， even if you don't know you do （known unknowns， right）. Big brother. Clocks striking 13. War is peace，etc.

故事背景设定在1984年，但写作时间大概在，很久以前吧。虽然你觉得你不了解这本书，但其实它的很多内容你肯定都听过（已知的未知，对不），比如“老大哥”、“钟敲了十三下”、“战争即和平”等等。

▌Not to be confused with：Brave New World， the reality series Big Brother， David Bowie's worst song.

易混淆：小说《美丽新世界》，真人秀节目《老大哥》，大卫·鲍威有一首极其难听的歌也叫“1984”。

▌Handy hint： Cleverly parodied on both The Simpsons and Futurama.

小贴士：在动画片《辛普森家庭》和《飞出个未来》里，你都能看到模仿《一九八四》的桥段，非常有趣。

War and Peace

《战争与和平》

by Leo Tolstoy 列夫·托尔斯泰著

▌Funny fact about War and Peace： nobody has actually read it. So just make up whatever you like and people will have to play along and pretend they know what you're talking about.

告诉你个关于《战争与和平》的搞笑事实：几乎没人真正读过这本书。所以你就尽情胡诌、随意发挥吧，对方也会配合你的表演，装成跟你一样读过这本书的人。

以上只是玩笑，勿要当真，前人留下的好书还是值得一读的。

Before I turned 29， Dad retired and my parents moved from Victoria to Queensland. As I'm the only child， my friends were shocked that my parents could move so far away from me. I just shrugged， not feeling at all fazed by the situation-instead seeing it as an opportunity to have somewhere warm to go on holidays.

But six months into their retirement， my mother phoned to say she had some bad news：Dad had cancer. "But don't worry，" she told me. It was lymphoma and the doctors had assured①assure 英 ［ə'ʃʊə; ə'ʃɔː］ 美 ［ə'ʃʊr］ vt. 保证；担保；使确信；弄清楚I assure you I'll be there. 我向你保证我一定到那儿去。her this was the most treatable kind. With chemotherapy， he would be "right as rain" in a couple of months. However， when I arrived in Queensland for a visit two months later， I was shocked by my father's appearance. He was frail，underweight and had lost all his hair from the chemo. Although he was only 65， he looked as though

he had aged 20 years. It was a sad sight and I felt my emotions welling up inside. Before I knew what was happening， I fell upon my dad with hugs and kisses， and for the first time in my life I said， "I love you，Dad！" He seemed a little taken aback， but awkwardly told me he loved me， too.

Sunday during my weekly phone call to my mother. After we had dispensed with our usual pleasantries and updates， I took a deep breath and asked，"Do you love me， Mum？" After a short hesitation②hesitation英 ［hezɪ'teɪʃn］ 美 ［,hɛzə'teʃən］ n. 犹豫She agreed to see him again without hesitation. 她没有犹豫就同意和他再次见面。， she replied brusquely，"You know I love you. Don't be silly."

"Well， I want it to be said in ours. From now on I want to end our conversations with 'I love you.' And that goes for Dad， too."

My mother reluctantly③reluctant英 ［rɪ'lʌkt（ə）nt］ 美 ［rɪ'lʌktənt］ adj. 不情愿的；勉强的；顽抗的agreed， and for the first time our telephone conversation ended with，"I love you， Mum，" and she replied， "I love you， too."

In the meantime， Dad had bravely completed his cancer treatments and， twelve months after being diagnosed， thankfully went into remission④remission 英 ［rɪ'mɪʃ（ə）n］ 美 ［rɪ'mɪʃən］ n. 缓解；宽恕；豁免His leukemia in remission now， John and Marianne Kanzius are sharing time together inthe white house by the. A year later the lymphoma flared up again，but once more he valiantly fought it off.

Unfortunately， the stress and worry had taken its toll on my mother， and in May 2000 she was diagnosed with pancreatic⑤cancer. I was told that only five percent of patients survive.

Just five months after being diagnosed， Mum was admitted to hospital. It was a few days before I was due to fly out for another visit. Her condition was serious but not critical， and I phoned every morning to check on her. One morning when I rang， she sounded in good spirits， but that evening my instincts told me I needed to ring again.

My worst fear was confirmed when a nurse answered the phone and regretfully informed me that my mother's condition had rapidly deteriorated. She wasn't expected to make it through the night.

Knowing I couldn't get a flight in time， I asked the nurse to put the phone next to my mother's ear so I could talk to her. "She's barely conscious，" the nurse replied. "It's unlikely she'll hear you." But I didn't care. I wanted to do it anyway.

Once she'd placed the phone by my mother's ear， I started sobbing and telling Mum over and over again that I loved her，hoping she could hear. At first， all I could hear from the other end was "Hmmmm"-but then， like a miracle， with a deep sigh she said，"Love you... love you， darling." It was the last thing she said before drifting into unconsciousness.

Losing a parent is excruciatingly painful and I shed many tears， but

How Can You Pretend①pretend英 ［prɪ'tend］ 美 ［prɪ'tɛnd］ vi. 假装，伪装，佯装adj. 假装的vt. 假装，伪装，模拟If you pretend to know what you don't know， you'll only make a fool of yourself. 不懂装懂就会闹笑话to Have Read Classic Novels