愿意为之而死的腿



愿意为之而死的腿

Penguin： I've been invited to a party.

企鹅：我被邀请参加一个派对。

John： Then why so sad？

John：那为什么这么伤心？

Penguin： The invitation said "dress casual".

企鹅：邀请说：“穿休闲服”。

I wanted to buy something online so I bargained with the customer service.From service No.I to 5，no one agreed to cut down the price.Then No. 6 replied："Honey， don't try to bargain anymore. I'm the only customer service！"

今天在网上看上几样东西，就找客服谈价钱，客服1不答应就找客2。直到找到客服6，对方回话：“亲，您别磨了，客服1—7都是我一人！”

Fat broad： Would you say I had "great legs" or "legs to die for"？

胖妞：你会说我有“美腿”还是“愿意为之而死的腿”？

Peter： Ah…both？…

彼得：啊…？…都、都有吧～

Fat broad： Thank you.

胖妞：谢谢。

Peter： For a minute there，I had visions of being kicked to death.

彼得：死于这双腿的唯一方式就是--被踢到死。

My girlfriend asked me："What to do with my Procrastination？" Oh. my god！ I got angry："You have procrastination？ You always rip them open right away when packages are delivered to you， stop the alarm right away when it rings， eat them up right away when you see snacks. How dare you tell me you have procrastination？"

女友对我说：“我有拖延症怎么办？”哎呀，我就火了：“你有吗？快递一来你就拆，闹钟一响你就按，零食一开你就吃，你还跟我说你有拖延症？”

Slow down.

慢下来

Dookie bird： Hey， how come you stopped？ It says "slow down".

Dookie：嘿，你怎么停下来了？上面说“慢下来”。

John the Tortoise： Sorry. In turtle parlance that's the next gear down from “move”.

约翰小龟：对不起。在我们乌龟界，“慢下来”这个词的速度仅次于“动起来”。

Three Whistles

I promised my girlfriend a gold necklace for her birthday， but when the jeweler quoted a price for one we liked， I let out a long，low whistle. "And how much are they then？" I asked， pointing to another tray.

"You， sir，" replied the jeweler，"about three whistles."

三声口哨

我答应过我的女朋友过生日进送她一条金项链。可是当珠宝商报出我们看中的那条项链的价格时，我低低地打了个长口哨。“那这条项链多少钱呢？”我指着另一个盘子里的项链问。

“先生，对你来说，”珠宝商答道，“大约值三声口哨。”

I Have Legs to Die for