向iPad妥协，还是教会孩子如何独处？

李殊 安然

I recently watched my sister perform an act of magic.

We were sitting in a restaurant， trying to have a conversation， but her children， four-year-old Willow and seven-year-old Luca， would not stop fighting. The arguments—over a fork， or who had more water in a glass—were unrelenting2.

Like a magician quieting a group of children by pulling a rabbit out of a hat， my sister reached into her purse and produced two shiny Apple iPads， handing one to each child. Suddenly， the two were quiet. Eerily3 so. They sat playing games and watching videos， and we continued with our conversation.

After our meal， as we stuffed4 the iPads back into their magic storage bag， my sister felt slightly guilty.

“I dont want to give them the iPads at the dinner table， but if it keeps them occupied5 for an hour so we can eat in peace， and more importantly not disturb other people in the restaurant， I often just hand it over，” she told me. Then she asked： “Do you think its bad for them？ I do worry that it is setting them up to think its OK to use electronics at the dinner table in the future.”

I did not have an answer， and although some people might have opinions， no one has a true scientific understanding of what the future might hold for a generation raised on portable screens.6

“We really dont know the full neurological effects of these technologies yet，” said Dr. Gary Small， director of the Longevity Center at the University of California， Los Angeles， and author of iBrain： Surviving the Technological Alteration of the Modern Mind.7 “Children， like adults， vary quite a lot， and some are more sensitive than others to an abundance of8 screen time.”

But Dr. Small says we do know that the brain is highly sensitive to stimuli， like iPads and smartphone screens， and if people spend too much time with one technology， and less time interacting with people like parents at the dinner table， that could hinder the development of certain communications skills.9

So will a child who plays with crayons10 at dinner rather than a coloring application on an iPad be a more socialized person？

Ozlem Ayduk， an associate professor in the Relationships and Social Cognition Lab at the University of California，11 Berkeley， said children sitting at the dinner table with a print book or crayons were not as engaged with the people around them， either. “There are value-based lessons for children to talk to the people during a meal，” she said. “Its not so much about the iPad versus12 nonelectronics.”

Parents who have little choice but to hand over their iPad can at least control what a child does on those devices.

A report published last week by the Millennium Cohort Study， a long-term study group in Britain that has been following 19，000 children born in 2000 and 2001， found that those who watched more than three hours of television， videos or DVDs a day had a higher chance of conduct problems， emotional symptoms and relationship problems by the time they were seven than children who did not.13 The study， of a sample of 11，000 children， found that children who played video games—often age-appropriate games—for the same amount of time did not show any signs of negative behavioral changes by the same age.

Which brings us back to the dinner table with my niece and nephew？14 While they sat happily staring into those shiny screens， they were not engaged in any type of conversation， or staring off into space thinking， as my sister and I did as children when our parents were talking. And that is where the risks are apparent.

“Conversations with each other are the way children learn to have conversations with themselves， and learn how to be alone，” said Sherry Turkle， a professor of science， technology and society at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology15， and author of the book Alone Together： Why We Expect More From Technology and Less From Each Other. “Learning about solitude and being alone is the bedrock of early development， and you dont want your kids to miss out on that because youre pacifying them with a device.”16

Ms. Turkle has interviewed parents， teenagers and children about the use of gadgets during early development， and says she fears that children who do not learn real interactions， which often have flaws and imperfections， will come to know a world where perfect， shiny screens give them a false sense of intimacy without risk.17

And they need to be able to think independently of a device. “They need to be able to explore their imagination. To be able to gather themselves and know who they are. So someday they can form a relationship with another person without a panic of being alone，” she said. “If you dont teach your children to be alone， theyll only know how to be lonely.”

让孩子们变得安静是如此容易，我的姐姐从她包里拿出两个又小又薄的iPad递给她的两个孩子，就像一个魔术师对着惊讶的小观众从帽子里掏出了小兔子。于是，我的两个吵闹不停的外甥都瞬间安静下来。他们玩起游戏或看起视频，而我们则得以继续聊天。那么问题来了：这样做对吗？

1. tablet： 平板电脑。

2. unrelenting： 持续的，不停歇的。

3. eerily： 可怕地，怪异地。

4. stuff： 把……塞进。

5. occupied： 忙碌的。

6. 我并不知道答案。并且尽管一些人有着自己的看法，但是对于那些伴着移动设备成长起来的孩子们来说，他们的未来会如何，没人能有一个准确而科学的认识。portable： 可移动的，便携式的。

7. neurological： 神经系统的，神经学的；longevity： 长寿；alteration： 改变。

8. an abundance of： 丰富的，大量的。

9. stimuli： 刺激物，促进因素（stimulus的复数形式）； hinder： 阻止，妨碍。

10. crayon： 蜡笔。

11. associate professor： 副教授；social cognition： 社会认知。

12. versus： 与……相对。

13. millennium： 千禧年； cohort study： 世代研究，定群研究；conduct： n. 行为，举止；symptom： 病症，症状。

14. niece： 侄女，外甥女； nephew： 侄子，外甥。

15. Massachusetts Institute of Technology： 麻省理工大学，简称MIT。

16. solitude： 孤独；bedrock： 基础；miss out on： 错失……的机会；pacify： 安抚，使平静。

17. 特尔克女士采访了许多父母、青少年和小孩子，询问他们在早期发展时期对电子设备的使用，并且说她很担心这些没有学会真正交流的孩子——真正的交流通常是有缺陷和不完美的——他们开始了解到的是一个由完美的、屏幕闪闪发光的电子设备所创造的世界，这让他们产生一种没有任何风险的亲密感假象。gadget： 小玩意儿；flaw： 缺陷；imperfection： 不完美，瑕疵。