从高考阅卷情况谈如何写读写任务的Summary

王美丽

读写任务是有材料作文，要求考生在阅读的基础上写一篇相关主题的作文；主要考查考生的阅读理解能力、篇章概括能力和语言表达能力。笔者在2014年高考的评卷工作中，发现考生篇章概括能力较差。为方便分析，现将高考试题摘录如下：

读写任务 阅读下面短文，然后按照要求写一篇150词左右的英语短文。

Oseola McCarty spent more than 75 years washing and ironing other peoples clothes. As a laundrywoman， she was paid only a few dollars each time. Certainly nobody would consider her rich， so they were all amazed when Miss McCarty decided to donate $ 150，000 to the University of Southern Mississippi.

The money was I ... me savings. She could save such a large amount of money because she lived a very simple life. She never learned to drive， and when she wanted to go somewhere， she just walked. She never flew to anywhere till the donation（捐助），and in 50 years she had been out of the South only once. The house in which she lived was also a rather modest one her last uncle left her. Only after she became known in America did she begin to travel all over the country. Since then， she had been the subject of many interviews and articles and was even invited to the White House.

Her donation was for students who clearly needed financial help. She herself left school in the sixth grade and had never married or had children. She said to the reporters that the idea of helping somebodys child go to college gave her much pleasure.

一、主要问题

以下是笔者在高考评卷中发现考生的summary中存在的问题：

1. 没有抓住原文的点睛之笔。

概括部分应该包括以下要点：

（1）Miss McCarty donated her life savings to a university.

（2）She worked as a laundryman and lived a very simple life.

（3）She was happy to give her money to students in need.

大多数考生未能够写出Miss McCarty was happy这一要点，也就是没有抓住原文的点睛之笔： She said to the reporters that the idea of helping somebodys child go to college gave her much pleasure.

2. 对原材料的理解出现了偏差。

部分考生的概括中出现了这样的句子：Miss McCarty donated her life savings to a university because she wanted to live a very simple life. 很明显，这是因为考生没有看懂原文而出现的理解上的偏差。如果出现这样的句子该概括部分最多也不会超过3分。

3. 抄袭严重或出现过多细节。

在改卷中发现有部分考生有整段抄袭的现象。如，The passage tells us Oseola McCarty spent more than 75 years washing and ironing other peoples clothes. As a laundrywoman， she was paid only a few dollars each time. Certainly nobody would consider her rich， so they were all amazed when Miss McCarty decided to donate $ 150，000 to the University of Southern Mississippi.

有一些考生从每段中挑一个关键句子抄袭的情况。如，Miss McCarty decided to donate $ 150，000 to the University of Southern Mississippi. She could save such a large amount of money because she lived a very simple life. She said to the reporters that the idea of helping somebodys child go to college gave her much pleasure.endprint

还有部分考生没有使用概括性的语言，涌入的细节、具体数字太多。如，She spent more than 75 years. She was paid only a few dollars each time； donate $ 150，000.

4. 加入个人的主观看法。

在评卷中，我们发现不少考生在summary中添加了个人观点。如，She is so great. She is so beautiful.等。

二、几点建议

针对上述问题，笔者就如何写好summary提出以下建议：

1. 抓要点，串要点。

阅读材料若是记叙文（Narration），一般应找出时间（when），地点（where），什么人（who），做了什么事（what），结果怎么样（how）等要素。其中最重要的要点是某人（who）做了何事（what）。今年高考题的阅读中应找到：

某人（Who）：Oseola McCarty， who lived a very simple life

做了什么事（what）：donated her life saying to a university to help poor students

结果怎么样（how）： aroused widespread social attention， she felt happy

然后，用自己的语言将这些要素串联起来。要注意语言简练，建议使用两个句子概括，字数最好控制在26～36个词之间。如，

Oseola McCarty， an ordinary worker with a thrifty lifestyle， donated a great deal of money to a university， which aroused widespread social attention. In return， she felt very pleasant.（29 words）

也可以从抓住文中的主题句入手，或者从每一段落中找出一个段落主题句子。以本次考试为例吧。

第一段：Miss McCarty decided to donate $ 150，000 to the University of Southern Mississippi。

第二段：She could save such a large amount of money because she lived a very simple life.

第三段：She said to the reporters that the idea of helping somebodys child go to college gave her much pleasure.

还可从这三个段落主题句中进一步提炼出关键词donate， simple， pleasure等，然后再用自己的话将其表达出来。

2. 忽略具体细节。

如今年高考题中的以下信息就须忽略：Oseola McCarty spent more than 75 years washing and ironing other peoples clothes. As a laundrywoman， she was paid only a few dollars each time. She never learned to drive...The house in which she lived was also a rather modest one her last uncle left her...Since then， she had been the subject of many interviews and articles and was even invited to the White House...She herself left school in the sixth grade and had never married or had children.

如果阅读材料是过去时，那么基本时态用过去时；如果是现在时，那么基本时态用现在时；不过，模板的开头语一般为现在时如The passage tells us that...一般情况下采用第三人称来写作。特殊情况如书信，可能会使用第一、二人称。显然，上述材料应该使用一般过去时态。

3. 不要加入个人观点。

要客观、准确、全面地转述原文的主要信息。不能加入个人的主观看法、观点，即不能自己对人物、事件作出个人的评价。如在本次考试中，考生不能在summary 中写到：I love her very much. I think highly of Miss McCarty等评价性的句子。

4. 避免抄袭现象。

概括部分满分5分，评分标准分为5个档次，各个档次均提到抄袭原文的问题。其中，如果大多数句子都抄自原文的为0～1分档。所以考生既要找准关键词，又要注意信息的整合，否则很容易就因为copy了原文句子而被列为最低档了。可以采用相关技巧如：

（1）近义替换。如，simple 用 plain/modest / thrifty替换。

（2）变换句式。如，Miss McCarty donated her life savings to a university改写为：Miss McCartys life savings were donated to a university.

（3）词性转换。如，She said to the reporters that the idea of helping somebodys child go to college gave her much pleasure. 关键词pleasure 由名词替换意义相同的形容词：She felt very pleased / satisfied / happy / delighted to help somebodys child go to college.endprint

5. 恰当使用连词。

恰当使用but， and， so， while， however， then， yet， for， therefore， thus， including， instead of，in return 等，避免逻辑混乱。上文提到的Miss McCarty donated her life savings to a university because she wanted to live a very simple life. 可以修改为：Miss McCarty lived a very simple life but she donated her life savings to a university.

实战演练

请同学们按照以上方法，用约30个词概括下列短文的主要内容。

Recently divorced， I was in my 20s，had no job and was on my way downtown to go the rounds of the employment offices. I had no umbrella， for my old one had fallen apart， and I could not afford another one.

I sat down in the streetcar--and there against the seat was a beautiful silk umbrella with a silver handle inlaid with gold and necks of bright enamel. I had never seen anything so lovely. I examined the handle and saw a name engraved among the golden scrolls. The usual procedure would have been to turn in the umbrella to the conductor， but on impulse I decided to take it with me and find the owner myself.

I got off the streetcar in a downpour and thankfully opened the umbrella to protect myself. Then I searched a telephone book for the name on the umbrella and found it. I called and a lady answered. Yes， she said in surprise that was her umbrella， which her parents，now dead， had given her for a birthday present. But， it had been stolen from her locker at school a year before.

She was so excited that I forgot I was looking for a job and went directly to her small house. She took the umbrella， and her eyes filled with tears. I was only too happy to see her got back the lost umbrella，and get a job she offered me.

解题过程

找要点：找出某人做了某事，结果如何。

某人（Who）：The author

做了什么事（what）：found an umbrella in the streetcar and telephoned the owner

结果怎么样（how）：The author was happy and the owner offered the author a job.

串要点：用自己的语言将各要素串联起来。参考范文如下：

The author， out of work， happened to pick up an umbrella in the streetcar and tried to find the owner. The author was pleased and also got a job offered by the owner of the umbrella.（36 words）

总之，记叙文的summary，首先找出其基本要素，然后要用自己的概括性的语言将各要素串联起来。要注意忽略细节，不能加入主观评价信息，避免抄袭嫌疑。

（作者单位：开平市第一中学）

责任编校 蒋小青endprint