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Personal Statement

2014-04-29

留学 2014年9期
关键词:申请者陈述申请人

该文书作者已收到美国南加州大学制片人专业的录取通知

“Young man, you have a brilliant future in front of you at Beijing TV. Thousands of your peers only dream of directing their own show.” Every single word my supervisor said was absolutely true, but I handed in my resignation anyway.

My decision was not driven by a sudden impulse. Working at BTV simply would not lead to the realization of my career goal of producing thought-provoking feature films about important social issues. My best path is to pursue a Master of Fine Arts at The Peter Stark Producing Program at the University of Southern California and then jump directly into film producing.

My short-term goal after graduation is to work as a creative executive under Zhang Qiang, former Deputy Editor-in-Chief at BTV and a close friend. We have already discussed my joining China Film Group, the largest studio in China, where he is now Vice President. There I would use the finance and marketing skills learned at USC to introduce American movies to China and Chinese movies to the international market. My long-term career goal is to become an international film producer, making commercially-viable movies about social concerns, like my inspiration and mentor Chinese filmmaker Gu Chang wei.

From a young age, I have been passionate about world travel, following the path of grandfather, a geologist who trekked all over China in the 1950s and my father who sailed to the US for school in the 1980s. Drawn to breathtaking scenery throughout my journeys in the US, Australia, UK, Europe and Southeast Asia, I took photos of everything I experienced with my M6. The photo albums faithfully retell my life story.

My zeal for taking photos grew stronger after I enrolled at the Communication University of China in 2006 with a major in Television Photography, designed to cultivate cameramen through photography. As a freshman, I was filled with passion for my studies, hoping to document the record-pace development of China. I wished to create enduring tales about China, which would touch the soul of generations to come. From 2006 to 2007, I became involved in various internships in broadcasting, newspapers, magazines and news as well as artistic photography and gallery work to fully explore my interests in media. Through these experiences, I found my passion for expressing emotion through images.

The greatest moment of my photography career came when the 2008 China International Film Festival granted me a solo exhibition for my autobiographical portfolio. I was the only student who earned an opportunity to display his photography in the space reserved for professional artists. Working with my friend on a film about the exhibition (which later won Best Film at the Shanghai Collegiate Film Festival), I realized that the best way to resonate with my audience was to express my story through video—Photos are decisive moments, but videos tell the narrative over time. There are techniques and skills video can apply, like dialogue and pacing, that still pictures cannot.

From then on I navigated my career path to video making. In 2008, I interned at CNNs Beijing Bureau in television news. The six-month internship enabled me to work with a team of foreign professionals in news production. During the Beijing Olympic Games, I followed tennis matches as a member of the one of the most advanced broadcasting groups in the world, the Beijing Olympic Broadcasting Co. (BOB). At 20 years old, I had the opportunity to film live telecasts for tennis matches with Federer, Nadal and Djokovic with an audience of billions!

In 2009, my professor recommended me as an intern at Hong Kong-based Phoenix Televisions Beijing Bureau. This internship in documentary filmmaking at one of the most influential Chinese broadcasters, lasted for nine months and took me all over China. I remember for one of our assignments, we flew three hours from Beijing to Lanzhou, took a long-distance bus to Tian shui, hitchhiked to town, and walked in heavy rain to the house of Mr. Li, our interviewee. Formerly a popular businessman, his life was ruined after he was misdiagnosed with AIDS, which terrified his fellow villagers. He was isolated, his business failed, and his two sons were forced to drop out of school because of his bankruptcy. He told me he was waiting for death.

Our documentary finally told his story both to our audience and to the Local Health Department. He regained trust and understanding among the villagers even if his psychictrauma would never heal. Mr. Li was one among scores of my interviewees during my time there, all of whom were from disadvantaged groups in society. I filmed the Sensen Orphan Asylum in Chongqing, a forgotten Chinese WWII general in Guangdong who had fought the Japanese, a Taiwanese communist veteran who returned to mainland China only to be treated unjustly as a spy in Beijing... Though my filmmaking techniques were still improving, telling their stories was what was important to me.

At the end of 2009, like thousands of my peers, I applied to work at the prestigious Beijing TV. Winning out against 300 applicants for my position, I finally became a professional cameraman. In four years, I rose from Cameraman to Reporter to Correspondent and finally to Director of the Documentary series Dangan (Archive). Different from the guerrilla filmmaking Id done for Phoenix, these document aries required a 50-man crew and meticulously composed scripts. It usually took us a week just to capture the footage for one episode. To fully understand the historical events presented, I would spend a month researching historical materials and editing draft after draft of the script.

In 2011, I was making rapid advances in my career at BTV, but one meeting changed my trajectory. I met Gu Changwei, an Academy Award-nominated cinematographer (Farewell My Concubine, 1993) and film director, regarded as one of Chinas foremost cinematographers. Meeting through a friend, I was invited to discuss his film Love for Life at his house before it was released. I was shocked by the film because it was partially based on the experience of Mr. Li, the villager I interviewed who was misdiagnosed with AIDS. Love for Life was so powerful that it pushed me to direct my career back towards presenting social concerns about contemporary issues. I wish to produce and make films to arouse social reflection as Mr. Gu does.

I have been trained for a decade to be a cameraman and a documentary director, but never formally to be a film producer. The blind spot for me right now is capitalization and how to monetize artistically viable films in a global market. In comparison to the maturity of Americas film industry, China is just taking off—young but full of energy and promise. To study the American system where it originates, I have made up my mind to apply to the Peter Stark Producing Program.

I am most attracted by how the program is structured, balancing practical courses and internship opportunities, as well as building strong relationships between teachers and students. As an experienced filmmaker in China, I long for more of a background in business, so I am especially interested in the Graduate Film Business Seminar to learn entertainment law and business practices and Scheduling and Budgeting to master preparation of a feature shooting schedule and production budget. The faculty impresses me because they are all also industry professionals who foster a mentor relationship and share their unique expertise with students. The small class and approximate 1:4 faculty-student ratio provides a great environment to learn from their professional experiences. With more international students than any other US university, USC also satisfies my need to study in an international environment.

I truly admire the philosophy that people learn best by doing, which is what I always believed while studying at Communication University of China (CUC) and participating in internships. The program facilitates employment opportunities like summer internships at Hollywood studios or production companies after the first year and evening classes to enable further interning during the second. Before graduation, I will have already gained hands-on experience in the US entertainment industry. The cutting-edge facilities, resource and industry-standard education methods will help me connect school and work. On top of studying producing, there are opportunities to interact with students from majors like Animation or Screenwriting, as well as from the Annenberg School or the Marshall School of Business. The especially tight producing and film alumni network (part of 10,000 USC alumni) will connect me with industry players, an indispensable advantage for a young producer.

If accepted into the Stark Program, I will not only make the most of the above resources; I will try my best to bring my perspective and experiences to it. During my time at the Stark Program, I will reflect on the similarities and differences between the Chinese and Western film industries, bringing a Chinese point of view to the program. With my insight into Chinese society from my various internship experiences at CNN, the Beijing Olympics and Phoenix Television and my work experiences at Beijing Television for over three years, I can provide unique film and TV production insights. I will take advantage of the network I build to connect Starkies from all over the world with my schoolmates and colleagues from CUC and BTV to expand their business opportunities in China, the worlds 2nd largest film market. (本文由万佳留学提供)

《留学》杂志明星顾问余一笑点评

研究生的PS一般都会涉及到几点:学生的经历,选择所申请专业的动机,所申请学校如何与学生的长短期目标相一致。该篇PS与传统的PS在文章结构上没有太大差异,但却在细节上做足了功夫。开头至少体现了两点重要内容:1. 从侧面强调申请者有一份很好的工作;2. 引出留学目的以及将来的目标。

一般学生的未来目标简单而泛泛,但这篇文章中,学生的长短期目标却非常明确。提到张强和顾长卫也可以体现两点:1. 学生对自己的未来有着明确的定位;2. 学生的人脉广,这对于producing的申请者来说是个很好的优势。之后简单讲述自己的兴趣起源,并借足迹遍及诸多国家和地区的描述,侧面突出学生的国际视野。

文章的主体部分,详略得当,选取了几个具有代表性的经历详细展开。从大学期间平面摄影所取得的成就,到符合逻辑地从平面转向视频制作,层层递进地展现自己的专业能力,同时也包括学生的深度思考,尤其是Mr.Li的这个采访经历也与后面顾长卫的电影呼应。虽然学生与顾没有太多的交集,但是一个获得过奥斯卡提名的人愿意给他写推荐信,可以给申请加分。谈及与顾的接触如何影响自己的career,在整篇PS中是个逻辑性比较强的亮点。

另外,很多PS的why school部分都写得比较浅显,但是该文明显是对该学校及专业做了些功课,对学校的地理优势、专业课程的设置等都很了解,也有Starkie这样对学校来说很有亲切感的词,表现了学生比较强的申请意愿。

(点评人为万佳留学美国留学金牌顾问)

《留学》杂志明星顾问Leah 张点评

首先,申请者详尽地介绍了自己的学习经历,记叙了过往的实习、工作经验及具体内容,并总结了收获与感悟。这些不仅可以表明申请者过硬的学术及实践背景,还可以展现其较强的自我剖析能力。其次,当谈及对未来的规划时,他给自己制定了清晰的短期和长期目标,并阐明了具体理由。这说明他对自身未来的职业发展有着明确的规划与设计,申请该校并不是盲从之举。再次,在谈及申请学校时,申请人展现出对所选学校和专业的深度了解,这表明其在申请前做了大量的案头工作。总体而言,这是一份不错的个人陈述,内容清晰地展现了申请者对自身的认知以及对学校的了解,并有着明确的学习目标和对未来的职业规划。

这篇个人陈述另一个可贵之处在于它结构清晰、内容明确、段落衔接自然顺畅。即:我的经历是什么-我的梦想和职业规划是什么-需要实现梦想的元素有哪些-有哪些元素是过往的经历所不曾提供的-USC为什么刚好能提供给我在实现梦想道路上必须具备的技能-我能为USC带来什么。这种递进式的写作方式不但使得文章结构紧凑,文字引人入胜,还可以明确表达出该学生选择USC的原因和决心。

很多中国学生在撰写个人陈述时用流水账、意识流的文法介绍自己的学习经历、兴趣爱好等等,结果导致文章整体繁冗乏味,缺乏说服力。而本篇作者的聪明之处在于,他没有一味地围绕其所获取的成就展开描述,而是凭借自身的收获和体会,以感为媒,用平实的语言打动阅读者,进而使他们“看到”一个积极进取、有着抱负与理想并甘为自己梦想付出汗水的年轻人,在书桌前落笔书写个人陈述的画面。这种“情感注入”式的写作方法能有效弥补以纯文字为沟通媒介的文书所带来的局限性。

(点评人为AIP艺术留学外事总监)

《留学》杂志明星顾问王磊点评

文章一开始就用领导对自己的肯定,自己却毅然辞职的描述,给招生官留下一个大大的问号,吸引其仔细读下去。第二段,衔接上文,表述辞职非一时冲动,而是对未来的职业方向有清晰定位,说出自己的Study Motivation。第三段,将自己毕业后的短期目标和长远目标进行了具体陈述,表达了清晰的Future Goal。第四段,从自小的兴趣谈起,讲述了因深受祖父和父亲的影响,用影像记录多国旅行的事。

第五段,叙述进入中国传媒大学后的专业学习和校园活动,表明相关Academic Background & Personal Ideas。

六到十一段,申请人描述了自己参加的非常有代表性的社会活动和实习的经历(其中不乏名人、名机构),表现了申请人杰出的专业能力以及对于行业深刻的认知度,展示强大的Research Abilities & Internship Experiences。

第十二段,申请人笔锋一转,将自己的专业盲点一语道破,说明自己申请目标学校专业的关键性原因,不但很好地用呼应的方法解答了文章第一段中的相关疑问,也表现了申请者自身清晰的学习目标和行业判断。

文章最后三段,陈述了自身对于目标院校学术课程的了解及自身的相关专业能力,并假定自身被录取后所要努力的方向,表现了申请人学习的动力来源,让招生官通篇读完之后自然而然地形成一个“舍我其谁”的优秀申请者画面,起到了画龙点睛的作用。

(点评人为樱知叶全球大学部VIP高端申请中心负责人)

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