按内容和逻辑归类，搞定基础写作的长句
2014-04-09杨萌
杨萌
高考英语广东卷的基础作要求考生用五句话表达全部的写作内容。因一篇基础写作中一般有七八个信息点，要用五句话表达出来，就需要掌握写好长句的手段。写长句的手段一般包括：使用从句（主语从句、宾语从句、表语从句、同位语从句、定语从句、状语从句）、介词短语、同位语、非谓语动词、插入语等。如果平时没有一定的积累，要在考场上写出一篇具有这些元素的高质量语句的作文是不容易的，所以通过平时的写作练习以及教师的讲评来进行有序地积累就很重要。
但是在实际教学当中，笔者发现同学们对写作讲评课，大多听完就算了事，对教师给出的范文以及同学写出的精彩句子也只是欣赏一下而已，并没有学会将之归纳整理后化为己用。本文以下面这篇基础写作为例，从内容和逻辑两个角度，来探讨怎样提升写长句的能力。
其次，从逻辑角度进行归纳整理。
根据各要点之间的逻辑关系，我们可以将题中要点分成5组，以便每组用一个英语句子来表达；在组句成文中也要考虑各句之间的逻辑关系。
句1：姓名、职务、外貌特征、性格特点、身体状况、学习成绩 （同位语）
句2：兴趣爱好：喜欢体育，能歌善舞（并列关系）
句3：英语学习：（1）她刚进校时，遇到不少困难（转折、时间关系）
句4：英语学习：（2）不怕苦，不怕难，努力把英语学好（结果）
句5：品行评价（并列、结果关系）
举一反三
练习1：用一个句子介绍以下人物。（三种表达）
陈燮霞，女子举重运动员，身高150cm，体重47.5kg，1983年1月8日出生于广东省广州市。
练习4：分析逻辑，用一个句子表达以下内容。
（1）（陈燮霞）2007年首次参加世界锦标赛，夺得女子48公斤级三项冠军。（时间）
（2）随着经济的发展，更多家庭拥有私家车，造成严重的交通问题和环境污染。（伴随或结果）
（3）这项活动得到全国人民的支持， 取得巨大成功。（结果）
（4）倡议人们放弃私家车，选用公共汽车、自行车或步行方式。（对比）
（5）尽管工作繁忙，人们在清明节还是会带些花扫墓祭祖。（转折）
（6）（话题：青少年参加电视才艺表演）赞同：1.丰富社会经验。2.增强自信。（结果）
（7）（话题：青少年参加电视才艺表演）不赞同：模仿多创新少。（对比）
参考表达
练习1
方法1：同位语+定语（定语从句或短语）
Chen Xiexia， a female weight-lifter who was born on January 8th， 1983 in Guangzhou City， Guangdong Province， is 150 cm tall and weighs 47.5 kg.
方法2：过去分词短语开头；with介词短语
Born on January 8th， 1983 in Guangzhou City， Guangdong Province， Chen Xiexia is a female weight-lifter with a height of 150 cm and a weight of 47.5 kg.
方法3：as介词短语
As a famous weight-lifter in China， Chen Xiexia was born on January 8th， 1983 in Guangzhou City， Guangdong Province， and is 150 cm in height and 47.5 kg in weight.
练习2
方法1：同位语+定语（定语从句或短语）
The Yungang Caves， one of the most valuable cultural relics in the world built in the Northern Wei Dynasty， are located in Datong， Shanxi Province.
方法2：过去分词短语开头
Located in Datong， Shanxi Province，the Yungang Caves date from the Northern Wei Dynasty and is regarded as one of the most valuable cultural relics in the world.
方法3：as介词短语
As a world-famous cultural relic， the Yungang Caves which are located in Datong， Shanxi Province，can date back to the Northern Wei Dynasty.
练习3
方法1：同位语+定语（定语从句或短语）
Qingming Festival， a traditional festival （which is） in honour of our ancestors， falls on April 4th or 5th every year.
方法2：过去分词短语开头
Regarded as one of the most important Chinese traditional festivals， Qingming Festival takes place on somewhere around April 4th every year.endprint
方法3：as介词短语
As a traditional festival （which is） in honour of our ancestors， Qingming Festival falls on April 4th or 5th every year.
练习4
（1）When taking part in the World Championship for the first time， she won a total of three championships for the womens 48 kg class weight-lifting competition.
（2）With the development of the economy， an increasing number of families have bought private cars， thus leading to heavier traffic problems and more serious air pollution.
（3）The campaign has gained much support all over the country， which makes it a real success.
（4）People are encouraged to take public transport，ride bicycles or walk instead of driving private cars.
（5）Despite the fact that people are busy working， they will clean their ancestors graves and decorate them with some flowers.
（6）Some think that it is a stage to show their talents of art， contributing much to their social experience and self-confidence.
（7）However， other students hold the different idea that the teenagers are just imitating others rather than showing something original.
结语：
每次写作的内容下次再现的可能性不大，但同类的内容以及同样的逻辑却篇篇皆有，找到这个共性，进行针对性的归纳整理，那么，平时每一次的写作练习就不仅能帮助巩固我们前段时间的学习，还能促使我们进一步提高，拿下基础写作，则指日可待。
（作者单位：中山市中山纪念中学）
责任编校 蒋小青endprint
方法3：as介词短语
As a traditional festival （which is） in honour of our ancestors， Qingming Festival falls on April 4th or 5th every year.
练习4
（1）When taking part in the World Championship for the first time， she won a total of three championships for the womens 48 kg class weight-lifting competition.
（2）With the development of the economy， an increasing number of families have bought private cars， thus leading to heavier traffic problems and more serious air pollution.
（3）The campaign has gained much support all over the country， which makes it a real success.
（4）People are encouraged to take public transport，ride bicycles or walk instead of driving private cars.
（5）Despite the fact that people are busy working， they will clean their ancestors graves and decorate them with some flowers.
（6）Some think that it is a stage to show their talents of art， contributing much to their social experience and self-confidence.
（7）However， other students hold the different idea that the teenagers are just imitating others rather than showing something original.
结语：
每次写作的内容下次再现的可能性不大，但同类的内容以及同样的逻辑却篇篇皆有，找到这个共性，进行针对性的归纳整理，那么，平时每一次的写作练习就不仅能帮助巩固我们前段时间的学习，还能促使我们进一步提高，拿下基础写作，则指日可待。
（作者单位：中山市中山纪念中学）
责任编校 蒋小青endprint
方法3：as介词短语
As a traditional festival （which is） in honour of our ancestors， Qingming Festival falls on April 4th or 5th every year.
练习4
（1）When taking part in the World Championship for the first time， she won a total of three championships for the womens 48 kg class weight-lifting competition.
（2）With the development of the economy， an increasing number of families have bought private cars， thus leading to heavier traffic problems and more serious air pollution.
（3）The campaign has gained much support all over the country， which makes it a real success.
（4）People are encouraged to take public transport，ride bicycles or walk instead of driving private cars.
（5）Despite the fact that people are busy working， they will clean their ancestors graves and decorate them with some flowers.
（6）Some think that it is a stage to show their talents of art， contributing much to their social experience and self-confidence.
（7）However， other students hold the different idea that the teenagers are just imitating others rather than showing something original.
结语：
每次写作的内容下次再现的可能性不大，但同类的内容以及同样的逻辑却篇篇皆有，找到这个共性，进行针对性的归纳整理，那么，平时每一次的写作练习就不仅能帮助巩固我们前段时间的学习，还能促使我们进一步提高，拿下基础写作，则指日可待。
（作者单位：中山市中山纪念中学）
责任编校 蒋小青endprint
