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Whether Our Parents Should Accompany Us Studying at School?

2009-12-28卢伟栋

中学生天地·高中学习版 2009年12期
关键词:成风连贯行文

卢伟栋

留意一下我们的周边,可以发现陪读现象已然成风。请你根据以下要点写一篇短文,谈谈你对陪读现象的看法。

现象:父母离开家乡,放弃工作,租房陪读。

理由: (1) 更好地照顾子女; (2) 让子女有更多的时间学习;(3) 对子女有激励作用。

你的看法: ……

注意: 1. 词数:100~120词;

2. 可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯。

参考词汇:accompany 陪伴

【One Possible Version】

Recently, many parents choose to rent a house near schools and accompany their children during their school years. Some of them have to leave their homes while some are even forced to give up their jobs. But they still think it is worthwhile, because in this way, their children will be better taken care of and thus can devote more time to their studies. Whats more, such sacrifices, they believe, can urge their kids to study harder.

However, I doubt the effect of these parents actions. By doing so, they will surely provide more comfort, time and encouragement for their kids. But what about the quality of independence which is so important in their childrens future life?

【Comment】

This composition is well organized and no required points are left out. Besides, many beautiful words and expressions are used freely and correctly. For example, school years, give up, worthwhile, be better taken care of, thus, devote...to..., sacrifice, urge, provide...for..., encouragement, independence.

However, what impresses me most is the way the author presented his view. Instead of putting forward his opinion directly, he used a question to express his objection to such a phenomenon.

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