捕捉原文续写点，让续写合情合理

2023-11-22广东

疯狂英语·新读写 2023年10期

关键词：艾丽斯乔丹词数

广东王思

【问题导读】

读后续写一般提供一段350 词以内的语言材料，要求考生根据材料内容和所给段落开头语，将其发展成一篇与给定材料有逻辑衔接、情节和结构完整的短文。然而，考生在进行读后续写时往往存在以下问题：

1.阅读原文时不知道如何挖掘和捕捉原文中的续写点；

2.续写的内容与原文不能够合理衔接或者与原文不连贯；

3.续写的内容或角度与原文不一致。

【名师导学】

一篇好的读后续通常能够围绕主题对原文中的伏笔（也就是我们所说的可续写点）进行合理照应。考生如能深入解读原文，挖掘合理的续写点，并在续写时适时照应，那么他们所续写的段落在语言、内容、逻辑上便更符合原文基调。我们可以从以下几个方面捕捉和挖掘可续写点：

1.分析文章标题，捕捉可续写点；

2.品读原文首段，捕捉可续写点；

3.提炼原文主题，捕捉可续写点；

4.关注特定情节，捕捉可续写点；

5.留意细节描写，捕捉可续写点；

6.关注高频词汇，捕捉可续写点；

7.留意原文结尾，捕捉可续写点；

8.解读续写部分所给的段首句，捕捉可续写点。

下面，我们来看看如何挖掘和捕捉可续写点，提高读后续写的分数。

【案例导引】

阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

Outside the box

The Harvestfest contest was falling on Friday and everyone in school was talking about it.All the students would show up in their self-made costumes (服装) and a winner would be chosen by the principal.

“Do you have your costume for the Harvestfest contest?” Alice asked.“I'm going as a chocolate bar.My mom and I have been working on it all week.”

“Yeah,I have a costume,” said Jordan Eastman,popping up the two front wheels of his wheelchair as he waited for his dad to pick him up.“But it's boring.”

“Why? What is it?” Alice asked.

“MaxMag,the superhero,but Danny,Tom and Izzy are all going as MaxMag too.”Jordan shook his head.“That's too many to stand a chance of winning the contest.” He waved to his dad,who had just pulled up in front of the school.

Jordan rolled his wheelchair towards his dad,and Alice walked with him to the minivan (小货车).

“Maybe you should go as something else,” Alice said.

“The contest is on Friday night,” Jordan sighed.“It's too late to change costumes.”

“Jordan,you have to think outside the box.Look around your house and see what you have.There's hidden potential in everyday items.” Alice took a sip of her drink,and told Jordan that her chocolate-bar costume was made from old fabric her mom had lying around and recycled plastics.

On his way home,Jordan was quiet.He kept thinking about Alice's words: Think outside the box.There's hidden potential in everyday items.When he got home,he found his mom dealing with some wooden pieces.She was putting a new desk together.On top of the desk was a huge empty cardboard box the pieces had come in.Mom smiled at Jordan,pointing at the desk,“What do you think?”

注意：续写词数应为150左右。

Paragraph 1:

Jordan'seyesfellontheboxandhesmiled,“It'sperfect...withmywheelchair.”_______

Paragraph 2:

SoonitwasFridaynight,andJordancouldn'twaittoshowhiscostume._____________

一、原文的语篇要素

二、原文的主题

本文讲述了坐轮椅的小男孩乔丹在朋友艾丽斯的鼓励下，开动脑筋，跳出思维定式，挖掘日常用品的潜能，更改自己单调重复的服装，并最终在比赛中赢得认可，获得成长的故事。本文的主题是“任何物品都有潜能，人亦是如此”。

三、原文的情节脉络发展

四、人物性格分析

五、捕捉续写点

六、构思情节发展

●续写第一段具体情节构思

展开语言和动作描写细节时，可以尝试回答以下问题并考虑多种可能性：

How did Mom react?

What did Jordan create?

How did Jordan create it?

Did Jordan finish his costume?

根据以上问题，可以确定续写第一段的内容应该聚焦在乔丹向妈妈解释他的创意，妈妈参与并帮助乔丹实现他的创意。

●续写第二段具体情节构思

展开细节时，可以尝试回答以下问题并考虑多种可能性：

How did Jordan feel?

What happened during the contest?

Who was the winner?

What did Jordan learn from this contest?

根据以上问题，续写第二段的具体情节可以设计为：乔丹穿着新服装出场得到了大家的认可和称赞；丹尼、汤姆和伊兹看到乔丹的装扮时的反应以及乔丹与艾丽斯的互动；校长宣布最有创意的装扮，呼应开头。最重要的是要写出乔丹在此次经历中学到了什么，这样才能够合理体现人物的成长、自我发现以及心态的积极变化。

参考范文

Paragraph 1:

Jordan'seyesfellontheboxandhesmiled,“It'sperfect...withmywheelchair.”Realizing Mom was confused,he quickly added,“That's a cool desk,Mom.But can I have the big box for the Harvestfest contest?” He then explained excitedly how to turn it into a mobile refrigerator.“Brilliant! You will definitely be the superhero of the party,serving people their favourite drinks,” Mom exclaimed with a broad smile.In the following days,his priority after school was designing and making the new costume,fixing it to his wheelchair and exquisitely making a door.Finally,he even prepared some soft drinks to surprise his friends.

Paragraph 2:

SoonitwasFridaynight,andJordancouldn'twaittoshowhiscostume.When he wheeled himself in as a mobile refrigerator,he heard admiring exclamations,guessing at who it would be.Jordan felt an increasing sense of pride and satisfaction.When he spotted a chocolate bar,he quickly moved towards it,stopped just several inches in front and quickly opened the door.“Jordan,it's you!” Alice cried out.Jordan passed her her favourite drink.“Thank you,Alice.That's an idea outside the box.” That night,although he didn't win the best costume award from the principal,Jordan felt like the real MaxMag: his body and soul were no longer confined to the wheelchair.And he came to realize: there is hidden potential in everyday items,and so it is with every individual.

【模拟导练】

阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

Today was Community Service Day at school.Maya's class was going to make cards for the seniors living in a nursing home.It was also the first day Maya would be wearing her leg brace to school,which was designed to help her walk more steadily and smoothly.

It was a cold autumn morning.Maya looked down,feeling embarrassed.To make it lovelier,she had delicately decorated the brace with pretty butterfly patterns.Still,she was unsure about others' reaction.All morning at school,kids kept glancing at her brace.To her relief,they didn't say anything.

In the classroom,Maya was drawing little green buds and pretty flowers when her friend Samir came over and sat by her.She felt his eyes fixed on her brace and heard him asking,“What's that for?” Not knowing what to say,Maya pretended she didn't hear him.After a few seconds of awkwardness,she glanced back at him,and found that he looked a little sad.

After lunch,the class set off.The nursing home was on a small hill and all of them walked there happily along the path.Maya found that the brace did make it easier for her to walk up.

Maya and Samir were paired up with a lady who was 83 years old.There at the end of the hall in a wheelchair,with a big smile on her face,sat the lady,wearing a pink coat,with red lipstick and beautiful earrings.She looked bright and full of life.Moving flexibly and fast towards Maya and Samir,she greeted first.“I'm Joan,” she said cheerfully.“Glad to meet you.”

Maya and Samir handed her the cards they made.Joan looked at Samir's card carefully and spoke with admiration,“You've written a poem! That's so artistic!” Samir's face reddened with shyness.Then Joan turned to Maya's picture.“The first flowers of spring!”she cried in delight.“You really have a gift for using color!” she said.Clearly,Joan's praise added great power to Maya.

注意：续写词数应为150左右。

Paragraph 1:

Inasuddenwaveofbravery,Mayaasked,“What'sitlikebeinginawheelchair?”