Charlie’s Raven (Excerpt V)《查理的渡鸦》（节选五）

琼·克雷格黑德·乔治

Blue Sky rode on Charlies shoulder as far as the border of Singing Birds property， where he fluttered to the ground. After flipping a beetle on its back， the young bird strutted proudly between the two friends right up to the door of the teepee.

查理和歌唱鸟行走时，蓝天一直待在查理的肩头。等他们来到歌唱鸟的地盘，他才飞到地上。蓝天把背上的一只甲壳虫甩掉，然后昂首阔步地走在两个好朋友中间，直奔圆锥形帐篷的大门而去。

Singing Brids father， Flying Cloud， had erected the teepee not far from his ranch house. The native home was both a museum and an office. Singing Birds parents were authorities on American Indian dances， teepees， artifacts， and customs. They made their living performing Teton Sioux dances for tourists at the Yellowstone Lodge twenty-five miles north. They were also writing a book on the three Sioux Nations， the Tetons， Lakotas， and Dakotas.

歌唱鸟的父亲叫飞云，把圆锥形帐篷支在牧场大屋的不远处。这一处印第安人之家既是博物馆也是办公室。歌唱鸟的父母是美洲印第安人舞蹈、圆锥形帐篷、手工艺品和习俗方面的权威专家。他们谋生的手段是在北边相距25英里远的黄石酒店为游客表演提顿苏族舞蹈。他们也正在撰写一部著作，有关苏族的三大族群——提顿人、拉科塔人和达科塔人的著作。

Every detail of the teepee was traditional. Soaring Swallow， Singing Birds mother， had painted the brown and black bison on the outside. Flying Cloud had made the inside furnishings， beds， willow rod backrests， bows and arrows. The home was a national treasure and a sacred place to the people of the first nations. Flying Cloud and Soaring Swallows American names were Jim and Elaine Kenton， but they rarely used them， preferring their Teton Sioux names.

圆锥形帐篷的每一个细节都符合原汁原味的印第安人传统。歌唱鸟的母亲叫翔燕，在帐篷外侧画上了棕色和黑色的野牛。而帐篷内的各种布置都由飞云制作完成：床铺、柳条靠背椅，还有弓和箭。这一处印第安人之家，对那些美洲原初部族而言，是民族宝藏和神圣的地方。飞云和翔燕也都有自己的英語名字，即吉姆和伊莱恩·肯顿。但他们很少使用英语名字，更愿意使用他们的提顿苏族名字。

Singing Bird paused at the round door in the canvas teepee.

歌唱鸟在帆布帐篷的圆门的门口停下了脚步。

“You cant bring Blue Sky in，” she said. “He might mess， and Dad would have a fit. Leave him at the door. Hell stay where you leave him. Little birds obey their moms.” Charlie hesitated.

“你不能把蓝天带到帐篷里。”她说。“他会随地大便，爸爸可能生气。把他留在门口吧。他会待在原地不动。小鸟儿会听妈妈的话。”查理有点犹豫。

“Its okay，” Singsing Bird said. “Hell wait.”

“没问题。”歌唱鸟说。“他会等你的。”

“Well， if you say so.” Charlie put Blue Sky by the teepee door where the bird could see him and not wander away looking for his “Mom.”

“好吧，既然你这样说。”查理把蓝天放在帐篷门口，在那里鸟儿能看到查理，就不会乱走去找“妈妈”。

“And Charlie，” she said as she pushed back the round canvas door， “Remember to move to the left. Men move to the left. Women to the right.” She chuckled. “Dad sticks by the old traditions. Kinda fun.”

“还有查理，”歌唱鸟一边说着一边推开圆形的帆布门，“你要记住走左边。男人走左边。女人走右边。”歌唱鸟咯咯笑了。“爸爸总是恪守老传统。有点好笑。”

Charlie stepped into the spacious cone-shaped home and instantly felt at peace. There was order and beauty here. Flying Cloud was seated in the owners backrest at the rear south of the teepee. Charlie made his way over the fur-covered floor to him. Observing the etiquette learned from other visits to the teepee， he did not walk in front of the altar. The altar was hard to recognize， being only a small space of bare earth at the west end of the teepee. The Indian nations called it a “square of mellowed earth.”

查理一脚踏进宽敞的圆锥形房子，立马觉得静谧极了。一切都是井井有条美妙无比。飞云坐在帐篷南侧远端的主人靠背椅上。查理从铺着毛皮的地上朝飞云走过去。此前他观察过到访圆锥形帐篷的礼仪，知道不能从祭坛前面走。祭坛不容易辨认，不过是一小片光秃秃的地面，就在帐篷的西端。印第安部族把祭坛叫作“一片熟地”。

He glanced around. The teepee was symbols from top to bottom. The floor was the earth， the walls the sky， and the poles the Indian trails to the spirit world.

查理瞥了一眼四周。帐篷里从上到下全都是有象征性的物品。地面代表土地，墙壁代表天空，木杆代表印第安人通往精神世界的道路。

Colors blazed from every furnishing. The drums by the altar shone red and blue. The willow backrests were painted with turquoise and white designs. Rich amber buffalo hides covered the floor. Brightly beaded boxes and moccasins sat on the floor beside piles of furry skins that were beds. The home was beautiful.

屋里的每一件配置都鲜艳夺目。祭坛旁边的鼓闪耀着红色和蓝色。柳条靠背椅上面是青绿色和白色的图案。地面上铺着深琥珀色的野牛皮。地上还有镶嵌着光闪闪珠子的箱子以及鹿皮鞋，旁边有几堆毛皮，那些是床。这个家很漂亮。

【背景知识】歌唱鸟带查理和蓝天到家里做客。查理走进印第安人的传统帐篷里，仿佛进入了另一个世界。这一选段中，有一些渡鸦相关的知识，还有印第安人传统的礼仪以及室内装饰等。英语的语言文字特点属于地点和景物描写，翻译过程中译者需要查证印第安人的文化知识。

【第一段】第一句中的ride（骑）意义丰富，译文拆散了原意，用“行走时”和“待在（肩头）”来表达。接下来的原文是拟人化描写，妙趣横生。译文也力求做到这一点（昂首阔步）。

【第二段】第二句中的native home不能简单翻译为“本地人的家”，译文明晰化为“印第安人之家”。第四句原文比较长，句式有点复杂，译文根据中文习惯调整了语序。最后一句按照中文的语法习惯可以把定语提前，但译文重复了“著作”，是为了保持语流和信息结构，因为后面的补充信息偏多。

【第三段】第一句原文有较强的强调意味，如果仅仅翻译为“圆锥形帐篷的每一个细节都是传统的”，则意义宽泛，没有强调语气。因此，译文添加了修饰语“原汁原味”。第四句中的first nations意义宽泛，译文将其具体化为“美洲原初部族”。

【第四段】这一部分的口语简洁灵活，译文中有一些明晰化：“随地大便”“可能生气”等。

【第五段】这里仍然是口语化的表达，真实生动。译文尽量保留了原文的语序，使之符合原文的信息顺序，同时也符合中文习惯。

【第六段】第一句中的feel at peace意义丰富，有较大的阐释空间。译文使用了“觉得静谧极了”，突出一种特殊环境对到访者的影响。第二句there was order and beauty here同样意义丰富，译文使用了两个成语来对应原文的整齐句式。

【第七段】第二句中的symbols（象征）很简洁，但译文需要用更多的字才能表达明白：“象征性的物品”。

【第八段】第一句中的词组colors blaze不容易翻译，译文用“鲜艳夺目”来对应。后面的句式都是地点物品描写，译文保留了原文的信息结构，没有打断语流。

【小结】这一选段中的原文有几大特色。其一是隐含着丰富的文化信息，需要译者准确的查证和理解。其二是口語简洁生动，译文不应该啰嗦。其三是原文有较多的位置和物品特色描写，中文译文能否在保留原文信息结构的情况下做到顺畅易懂，需要译者好好琢磨。