APP下载

《英译中国现代散文选》中英语惯用法错误例析

2022-02-16顾祖良

常熟理工学院学报 2022年6期
关键词:惯用介词英译

顾祖良

(常熟理工学院 外国语学院,江苏 常熟 215500)

一、引言

在谈到英语惯用法的重要性时,葛传规教授在其《英语惯用法词典》(2000)前言中,明确指出:要学好英语,必须掌握英语惯用法。无论听、说、读、写、译和应付托福、GRE、GMAT、雅思等各种英语考试,都要熟练地掌握英语惯用法。然而,在《英译中国现代散文选1》(张培基,2007a)、《英译中国现代散文选2》(张培基,2007b)、《英译中国现代散文选3》(张培基,2007c)和《英译中国现代散文选4》(张培基,2012)中,有些译文存在着英语惯用法方面的错误,使译文显得不够地道。本文举出一些这样的实例,分析其出现错误的原因,并给出符合英语表达习惯的译文,供读者参考。

二、《英译中国现代散文选》中英语惯用法错误

(一)take after的错误

原文:爹爹接下去说:“所以你们要像花生,因为它是有用的,不是伟大、好看的东西。”

译文:“So you must take after peanuts”,father continued,“because they’re useful though not great and nicelooking.”[1]13

笔者认为原译文中的take after用法欠妥。take after解释为:to look or behave like an older member of your family, especially your mother or father(外貌或行为)像(父或母)。[2]1801例如:

(1)Your daughter doesn’t take after you at all.你女儿长得一点也不像你。[2]1801

(2)Mary takes after her mother; she has the same eyes, nose and hair.玛丽长得真像她妈妈,眼睛、鼻子和头发都一样。[3]1794

(3)Everyone says I take after my mother.大家都说我长得像我母亲。[4]1482

而原文中的“像花生”,并不是说要“长得像花生”,而是要说“像花生一样,要具备好的品德”,笔者认为可用learn from来表达。例如:

(4)learn from sb.向某人学习[5]1088

(5)One has to learn from other people’s experience.应当学习别人的经验。[6]451

(6)Learn from Comrade Lei Feng.向雷锋同志学习。[7]523

也可用follow one’s example来表达。例如:

(7)I think all schools should follow the example of this one.我认为所有学校都要以这个学校为榜样。[8]272

(8)I suggest you follow Rosie’s example and get more exercise.我建议你以罗西为榜样,多加锻炼。[4]490

因此,原句宜改译为:“So you must learn from peanuts”,father continued,“because they’re useful though not great and nice-looking.”也可译为:“So you must follow the example of peanuts”,father continued,“because they’re useful though not great and nice-looking.”

(二)qualify for的错误

原文:我不配做一盏明灯。

译文:I, however, don’t qualify for a bright lamp.[1]76

笔者认为原译文中的qualify for用法欠妥。根据英语的表达习惯,qualify (sb.) for 后跟“工作;竞赛;许可证”等名词,而qualify (sb./sth.) as 后则跟“称号;名称”等名词。[2]1405例如:

(9)They qualified for the World Cup.他们打进了世界杯决赛。[2]1405

(10)If you live in the area, you qualify for a parking permit.你若在本区住,就有权领停车许可证。(Ibid.)

(11)This training course will qualify you for a better job.本培训课程将使你能胜任更好的工作。(Ibid.)

(12)He qualified as a doctor last year.他去年获得了医生的资格。(Ibid.)

(13)Do you think this dress qualifies as evening wear? 你看这连衣裙适合作晚礼服吗?(Ibid.)

(14)It’s an old building, but that doesn’t qualify it as an ancient monument! 这是一座老建筑,但不足以称为古迹。(Ibid.)

因此,原句宜改译为:I, however, don’t qualify as a bright lamp.

(三)before I knew 的错误

原文:我不知不觉地便坐在窗口下想,——默默地想。

译文:Before I knew, I had sunk into a chair under the window, lost in mediation.[1]96

笔者认为原译文中的before I knew用法欠妥,根据英语的表达习惯,要用before I knew it,其中的it不可缺少。例如:

(15)Three months had passed before we knew it.不知不觉已过了三个月。[9]194(说明:在原词典所提供的例句中,have passed有误, 笔者已改为had passed。)

(16)We’d better set off or it will be dark before we know it.我们最好马上出发,否则天就要黑了。[10]102

(17)Spring break will be here before you know it.春假不久就会到来了。[4]109

因此,原句宜改译为:Before I knew it, I had sunk into a chair under the window, lost in mediation.

(四)pass for as 的错误

原文:雪花隙里,看不出天空和森林的界限,将繁灯当作繁星。

译文:With the distinction between sky and forest obscured by snowflakes, the numerous lamp-lights now easily passed for as many stars.[1]100

笔者认为原译文中的passed for as用法欠妥。根据英语的表达习惯,pass as sb/sth=pass for sb/sth, pass for或pass as 作“被认为是;被当作”解。[2]1256介词for和as不可同时使用。例如:

(18)He speaks the language so well he could easily pass for a German.他德语讲得好极了,很容易被当成德国人。[2]1256

(19)We had some wine—or what passes for wine in that area.我们有一些酒——或是那个地区当作酒的东西。(Ibid.)

(20)His English is so good he could pass as a native.他的英语很好,说他是本国人也有人信。[3]1281

(21)With my hair cut short I could have passed as a boy.如果我当时把头发剃短的话,我很有可能被当作男孩。[11]250

因此,原译文宜改为:With the distinction between sky and forest obscured by snowflakes,the numerous lamp-lights now easily passed for many stars.也可改为:With the distinction between sky and forest obscured by snowflakes, the numerous lamp-lights now easily passed as many stars.

(五)A is to B what X is to Y 的错误

原文:比起北国的秋来,正像是黄酒之与白干,稀饭之与馍馍,鲈鱼之与大蟹,黄犬之与骆驼。

译文:Southern autumn is to Northern autumn what yellow rice wine is tokaoliangwine, congee to steamed buns,perches to crabs, yellow dogs to camels.[1]165

笔者认为原译文有误。在A is to B what X is to Y的句型中,主句往往是语义重点之所在,而从句则表达读者已熟知的内容。[12]1568本句型通过比较,往往要强调主句的重要性,一般不用于两者事物的优劣比较。例如:

(22)Railway is to transportation what blood is to a man’s body.铁路对于交通的重要性,就如同血液对于身体的重要性一样。[12]1568

(23)Air is to us what water is to fish.空气之与我们,如同水之与鱼。(Ibid.)

(24)Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.读书对于思想,好比运动对于身体一样重要。[13]754

笔者认为,原中文“比起北国的秋来,正像是黄酒之与白干,稀饭之与馍馍,鲈鱼之与大蟹,黄犬之与骆驼。”要强调的是,北国的秋不能同南国的秋同日而语,而不是强调两者间的重要性关系。

因此,原译文宜改为:Southern autumn cannot compare with Northern autumn, just as there is no comparison between yellow rice wine andkaoliangwine, between congee and steamed buns, between perches and crabs, and between yellow dogs and camels.

(六)for doing sth. 的错误

原文:我的女人最喜欢养鸡。她的目的并不在研究遗传,并不想有甚居积,充其量只是想给孩子们多吃几个鸡蛋罢了。

译文:My wife is very keen on raising chickens.She does this not for studying genetics or making a profit out of it, but merely for collecting more eggs for our kids to eat.[14]69

笔者认为原译文有误。根据英语的表达习惯,表示“目的”时,不可用 for doing sth.要用to do sth.,葛传规教授认为下面各句都不合习惯:[15]250

(25)I went there for seeing him.[15]250

(26)They will come for hearing the music.(Ibid.)

(27)We work hard for building socialism.(Ibid.)

要分别改为:

(28)I went there to see him.[15]250

(29)They will come to hear the music.(Ibid.)

(30)We work hard to build socialism.(Ibid.)

因此,原译文宜改为:My wife is very keen on raising chickens.She does this not to study genetics or to make a profit out of it, but merely to collect more eggs for our kids to eat.当然也可把原译文中的for改为for the purpose of,这样就符合英语表达习惯了。例如:

(31)A meeting was called for the purpose of appointing a new treasurer.为任命新司库而召开了一次会议。[2]1397

因此,原译文也可改为:My wife is very keen on raising chickens.She does this not for the purpose of studying genetics or making a profit out of it, but merely for the purpose of collecting more eggs for our kids to eat.

(七)leave a lasting impression on one’s mind/memory 和 leave behind a permanent impression on sb. 的错误

原文:母亲那种劳动简朴的习惯,母亲那种宽厚仁慈的态度,至今还在我心中留有深刻的印象。

译文:Her diligence and frugality, her generosity and kindheartedness — all have left a lasting impression on my mind.[1]261

原文:我有二十多年没有看见他了,至今记忆中还有几件不能磨灭的事。

译文:Though it is more than twenty years since I last saw Mr.Sa,several things have left an indelible impression on my memory.[16]38

原文:后来他走了,但他的印象却永远留在那简单的纯洁的脑子中。

译文:When he leaves them, he will always leave behind a permanent impression on the simple and honest country folks.[16]99

笔者认为以上三句译文均有误。根据英语的表达习惯,leave 或make an impression 后跟on sb.,不可跟on one’s mind或memory;另外,在leave an impression on sb.中,动词leave 也不可同介词behind连用。例如:

(32)Her speech made quite an impression on the audience.她的演说给听众留下了相当好的印象。[3]877

(33)His trip to India made a strong impression on him.他的印度之行对他的触动很大。[2]885

(34)It leaves an impression on the visitor not easily forgotten.它给参观者留下了难忘的印象。[17]891

(35)The experience left a lasting impression on me.这段经历给我留下了不可磨灭的印象。[18]2145

另外,如要跟 mind 或 memory搭配使用,可用 be etched in/on one’s mind/memory; be imprinted on one’s mind/memory; be engraved in/on one’s memory/mind/heart。例如:

(36)The war seems to be etched forever in my memory.那场战争似乎永远铭刻在我的记忆里。[4]484

(37)A terrible event is etched forever on my memory.一件可怕的事永远铭刻在我的记忆里。[10]465

(38)The image of Helen’s sad face was imprinted on his mind.海伦那张悲伤的脸映照在他的脑海里。[4]727

(39)The sight of her waving from the window was forever imprinted on my mind.她从窗户向外挥手的情景,永远铭刻在我的脑海里。[10]715

(40)Their last conversation is deeply engraved in his memory.他们最后一次谈话深深刻在他的记忆里。[4]473

(41)The terrible scene was engraved on his memory.那可怕的情景铭记在他的记忆里。[3]566

因此,原译文宜分别改为1.Her diligence and frugality,her generosity and kindheartedness—all have left a lasting impression on me.2.Though it is more than twenty years since I last saw Mr.Sa, several things have left an indelible impression on me.3.When he leaves them, he will always leave a permanent impression on the simple and honest country folks.前两句也可分别改为:1.Her diligence and frugality, her generosity and kindheartedness—all have been etched/imprinted/engraved on my mind.2.Though it is more than twenty years since I last saw Mr.Sa,several things have been indelibly etched/ imprinted /engraved on my memory.

(八)come的错误

原文:为什么会穷到这个地步呢?

译文:How did it come that I had been reduced to such poverty?[14]108

原文:母亲也不是穷人,也不是老人,也不是孩子,怎么也怕起父亲来呢?

译文:How did it come that my stepmother, being neither poor, nor old, nor a child, should also have become scared of father?[14]220

笔者认为以上译文均有误。根据英语的表达习惯,要把How did it come that 改为How did it come about that。例如:

(42)How did it come about that humans speak so many different languages? 为什么人类会说这么多不同的语言呢?[10]259

(43)Can you explain how it came about that you were an hour late? 你怎么会迟到一个钟头,对此你能做出什么解释呢?[3]334

(44)How did it come about that you didn’t report this to us in good time? 你怎么没有及时向我们报告?[3]9

另外,在非正式语体中,可用how come …? 表示“为什么…? ”;“怎么会(那样)?”[3]855例如:

(45)How come you got back so early? 你怎么回来得这么早?[4]706

(46)How come he got the job when she was the best qualified person? 她是资历最好的人选,怎么得到那个职位的会是他?[3]855

(47)If she spent five years in Paris, how come her French is so bad? 既然她在巴黎待了五年,她的法语怎么还会这样糟糕?[2]321

因此,原句宜分别改为:

1.How did it come about that I had been reduced to such poverty? 2.How did it come about that my stepmother,being neither poor, nor old, nor a child, should also have become scared of father? 也可分别改译为:1.How come I had been reduced to such poverty? 2.How come my stepmother, being neither poor, nor old, nor a child, should also have become scared of father?

(九)hold firmly to 的错误

原文:一个当老师的人,既要勇于坚持自己的真理,又要勇于承认自己的非真理。

译文:A teacher should have the courage not only to hold firmly to the truth but also to admit his mistake.[14]298

笔者认为原译文中的hold firmly to不符合英语表达习惯,hold firm to sth.是习惯表达形式,其中的firm不可改为firmly。例如:

(48)hold firm to one’s beliefs 坚守信仰[5]700

(49)Always hold firm to your beliefs.永远坚持你的信仰。[3]641

(50)She held firm to her principles.她坚持自己的原则。[2]651

因此,原译文宜改为:A teacher should have the courage not only to hold firm to the truth but also to admit his mistake.

(十)looked out of the window sitting at my desk 的错误

原文:坐在书桌旁往外看,我的窗外周围只是一座一座的长长方方的宿舍楼,楼与楼之间还没有一棵树木!

译文:Whenever I looked out of the window sitting at my desk, what struck my eye at once would be a cluster of rectangular dormitory buildings standing side by side without a single tree in-between.[16]51

笔者认为原译文有误。根据英语的表达习惯,动词sit,lie和stand等动词,其后可用分词同谓语动词互为伴随情况,两者的动作顺序不可颠倒。例如:

(51)She sat singing a merry song.她坐着唱一首欢快的歌。[19]624

(52)I was sitting at the desk reading.我坐在桌子旁看书。[20]633

(53)He was lying on the bed smoking a cigarette.他躺在床上抽烟。[10]814

(54)He lay on the floor reading a book.他躺在地板上看书。[3]1006

(55)We all stood around in the corridor waiting.我们都随处站在过道里等着。[2]1713

(56)People were standing about at street corners talking.人们三三两两地站在街头转角处谈话。[5]1962

因此,原译文宜改为:Whenever I sat at my desk looking out of the window,what struck my eye at once would be a cluster of rectangular dormitory buildings standing side by side without a single tree in-between.

(十一)think … not 的错误

原文:我认为,习惯不属于意识形态范围,它有一种“惯性”。

译文:I think habits do not come under the category of ideology, but have something to do with inertia.[16]64

笔者认为尽管原译文并不绝对不正确,不过,在地道的英语中,当主句的谓语动词是think,believe,suppose,imagine等时,往往要用否定转移(transferred negation),形式上是否定主句中的动词,但在意义上却否定宾语从句中谓语动词。[12]1495例如:

(57)I don’t think it’s a good idea.我认为那不是一个好主意。[12]1495

(58)I don’t suppose that it is true.我认为那不是真的。(Ibid.)

(59)I don’t believe he can fix the bike.我认为他修不好这辆自行车。[7]162

(60)I don’t imagine (that) they’ll refuse.我认为他们不会拒绝。[2]878

因此,原译文宜改为:I do not think habits come under the category of ideology, but have something to do with inertia.这样改更符合英语的表达习惯。

(十二)in a mood 的错误

原文:唉,这怎么好呢?我一点事也不想做,而且也不能做。

译文:Oh,my! I’m not in a mood to do anything, nor am I able to.[16]106

原文:我却懒得花这种心思。

译文:I, nevertheless, have never been in a mood for doing the same.[21]98

笔者认为原译文中的in a mood用法均欠妥。在英语中,in a mood 与in the mood意思不一样,前者表示“坏心境;坏脾气”,而后者则表示“有心情;情绪好”。[2]1122例如:

(61)She’s in a mood this morning.她今天早上心情不好。[3]1143

(62)I wonder why he’s in such a mood today.不知道他为什么今天脾气这么坏。[2]1122

(63)I’m very tired, and not in the mood to argue.我很累了,没有心情同你争辩。[3]1143

因此,原译文宜分别改为:1.Oh,my! I’m not in the mood to do anything, nor am I able to.2.I, nevertheless,have never been in the mood for doing the same.

(十三)with … in hand 的错误

原文:提着行李包,撑着雨伞排进等出租汽车的长队,没希望。

译文:I joined a long queue for taxis with luggage and umbrella in hand, but to no avail.[16]177

原句中的with luggage and umbrella in hand不符合英语的表达习惯。在英语中,要么用with + sth.+ prep.+ one’s + n.(身体部位名词),要么用(不加冠词的)n.+ prep.+(不加冠词的)n.(身体部位名词),两者不可混用。例如:

(64)He went off, gun in hand.他走了,手中握着枪。[12]25

(65)He sat there thinking, with his head on his hand.他坐在那里,手托着头思考着。[12]27

(66)With the medicine box under her arm,Miss Zhao hurried off to look after the man.赵小姐挎着药箱匆匆忙忙地离开去照料那个人。(Ibid.)

因此,原句宜改为:I joined a long queue for taxis luggage and umbrella in hand, but to no avail.也可改为:I joined a long queue for taxis with my luggage and umbrella in my hand,but to no avail.

(十四)sympathetic with 的错误

原文:她劝说我再买一件什么,我虽然心情沉重,很想帮她的忙,但也实在没有钱了。

译文:She hoped that I would buy one more article from her.But, sympathetic as I was with her, I couldn’t buy anything else because I really had no more money left in my pocket.[16]281

笔者认为原译文中,形容词sympathetic后用介词with不符合英语的表达习惯。sympathetic后往往跟介词to或towards sb.表示“同情某人”[2]1792。例如:

(67)I’m sympathetic to parents who are worried about what their children see on television.父母担心孩子在电视上看到的东西,我对他们表示同情。[4]1475

(68)I did not feel at all sympathetic towards Kate.我对凯特一点也不同情。[2]1792

如果用动词sympathize,其后则要跟介词with搭配。例如:

(69)I find it hard to sympathize with him.我觉得很难同情他。[2]1792

(70)We sympathized with the bereaved family.我们同情丧失亲人的家庭。[8]781

因此,原译文宜改为:She hoped that I would buy one more article from her.But,sympathetic as I was to her, I couldn’t buy anything else because I really had no more money left in my pocket.也可改为:She hoped that I would buy one more article from her.But though I sympathized with her, I couldn’t buy anything else because I really had no more money left in my pocket.

(十五)respectively的错误

原文:当时他的本职是任英美两家报纸驻北平的记者。

译文:He was then a reporter for two foreign newspapers in Peiping,owned respectively by Britons and Americans.[21]118

笔者认为原译文中的respectively用法有误。根据英语的表达习惯,副词respectively的位置通常放在被修饰词的后面,不可前置, 跟中文的表达形式不同。例如:

(71)Julia Wilson and Mark Thomas, aged 17 and 19 respectively.朱莉·威尔逊和马克·托马斯,年龄分别为17岁和19岁。[2]1479

(72)The nurses and the miners got pay rises of 5% and 7% respectively.护士和矿工分别加薪5%和7%。[3]1482

(73)In terms of population, California and New York rank first and second respectively.就人口而言,加利福尼亚和纽约分别排名第一和第二。[4]1228

因此,原译文宜改为:He was then a reporter for two foreign newspapers in Peiping, owned by Britons and Americans respectively.

(十六)have bearing on 的错误

原文:只能有多大碗,吃多少饭,找一些可以发挥自己的长处而又有利于国计民生的题目来进行研究。

译文:I had to adapt to the new circumstances by working only on themes most familiar to me and having direct bearing on national economy and the people’s livelihood.[21]138

笔者认为原译文中的having direct bearing on 不符合英语的表达习惯。have a bearing on sth.作“关系;影响”解,其中的冠词a,不可省略。例如:

(74)He might have information that has a bearing on the case.他也许掌握着与本案有关的情况。[5]152

(75)Recent market fluctuations have had a direct bearing on company policy.最近的市场波动直接影响到公司的政策。[10]98

(76)Regular exercise has a direct bearing on fitness and health.经常性锻炼对于身体健康有直接影响。[2]130

因此,原译文宜改为:I had to adapt to the new circumstances by working only on themes most familiar to me and having a direct bearing on national economy and the people’s livelihood.

(十七)at the direction of 的错误

原文:经人指引,我登上石阶。

译文:At the direction of someone, I found my way to the house and ascended its stone steps.[21]225

笔者认为原译文中的at the direction of someone不符合英语的表达习惯,介词at要改为under。under the direction of 是习惯表达形式,其中的direction作“管理;见到;指导”解。[3]482例如:

(77)The investigation was carried out under the direction of a senior police officer.调查是在一名高级警官的指导下进行的。[3]482

(78)All work was produced by the students under the direction of John Williams.所有作品都是在约翰·威廉斯的指导下由学生们创作完成的。[2]477

因此,原译文应该修改为:Under the direction of someone, I found my way to the house and ascended its stone steps.

(十八) need not return 和 don’t have to return 的错误

原文:别客气!这些都是我应该做的。其实这些旧东西您大可不必还给我。

译文:Don’t mention it! I’ve only done my bit.You really need not return the junk to me.[21]184

原文:其实,您也大可不必还给我。这件血衣,留下来作纪念不是很好吗?

译文:In fact you don’t have to return them to me.Isn’t it a good idea for you to have my bloodstained garment as a keepsake?[21]184

笔者认为原译文中的need not return 和 don’t have to return有误。根据上下文,很显然,衣服已经归还对方,就不可用 need not return 或 don’t have to return,而要用 need not have returned。在英语中,needn’t have done sth.或need not have done sth.表示已做某事,但没有必要这样做。例如:

(79)You needn’t have hurried (=it was not necessary for you to hurry, but you did).你当时不必这么匆忙。[2]1155

(80)They need not have been punished so severely.他们受到这样严厉的惩罚是不必要的。[6]550

因此,原译文宜分别改为:1.Don’t mention it! I’ve only done my bit.You really need not have returned the junk to me.2.In fact,you needn’t have returned them to me.Isn’t it a good idea for you to have my bloodstained garment as a keepsake?

三、结束语

从以上实例及分析中,我们可以看出,在《英译中国现代散文选1》《英译中国现代散文选2》《英译中国现代散文选3》和《英译中国现代散文选4》的译文中,确实存在着一些英语惯用法方面的错误,使得译文不符合英语的表达习惯。笔者认为这些错误主要是由于过分规则化 (overgeneralization)而造成的(Overgeneralization occurs when a learner applies a grammar rule to forms that do not take it.[22]44)。为了避免犯英语惯用法方面的错误,笔者建议要多查阅工具书,特别是英语惯用法方面的工具书,而且还要进行大量阅读,从阅读中积累英语的惯用法。只有这样,汉译英时,译文才能更地道。笔者提出上述问题,意在纠正原译文中的一些误译,也供读者参考。

猜你喜欢

惯用介词英译
介词和介词短语
中日惯用谚语对比研究——以动物隐喻为中心
摘要英译
表原因的惯用型研究
介词不能这样用
资金盘传销惯用包装伎俩和鉴别方法
话语分析角度看公示语的英译及翻译对策
孔子之道及其英译之法
《论语》英译的转喻分析
看图填写介词