一封给父亲的秘信

广东 周淑涵

题材成长故事体裁记叙文文章词数346难度★★★建议用时6分钟

My father was not a sentimental man.I don't remember him ever“oh”or“ah”over something I made as a child.Don't get me wrong;I knew that my dad loved me,but getting all mushy‐eyed was not his thing.I learned that he showed me love in other ways.There was one particular time in my life when this became real to me.

I always believed that my parents had a good marriage,but just before I,the youngest of four children,turned sixteen,my belief was sorely tested.My father,who used to share the chores around the house,gradually started becoming despondent.From the time he came home from his job at the factory to the time he went to bed,he hardly spoke a word to my mom or us kids.

The strain on my mom and dad's relationship was very evident.However,I was not prepared for the day when Mom sat my siblings and me down and told us that Dad had de⁃cided to leave.All that I could think of was that I was going to become a product of a di⁃vorced family.It was something I never thought possible,and it grieved me greatly.I kept telling myself that it wasn't going to happen,and went totally numb when I knew my dad was really leaving.

The night before he left,I stayed up in my room for a long time.I cried and wrote a long letter to my dad.I told him how much I loved him and how much I would miss him.I told him that I would always and forever be his Krissie.As I folded my note,I stuck in a picture of me with a saying I had always heard,“Anyone can be a father,but it takes some⁃one special to be a daddy.”Early the next morning,as my dad left our house,I sneaked out to the car and slipped my letter into one of his bags.

Language Study

Useful sentence patterns

1.However,I was not preared for the day when Mom sat my sib lings and me down and told us that Dad had decided to leave.

分析：本句为复合句。when引导定语从句，从句中的sit sb down意为“让某人坐下”；定语从句中包含that引导的宾语从句。本句可译为“然而，我并没有为那一天的到来做好准备——妈妈让我们兄弟姐妹坐下来，然后告诉我们爸爸已经决定要离开”。

2.I kept telling myself that it wasn't going to happen,and went totally numb when I knew my dad was really leaving.

分析：本句为复合句。本句包含that引导的宾语从句以及when引导的时间状语从句。went totally numb为系表结构，意为“变得完全麻木了”。本句可译为“我一直告诉自己这不会发生的，而当我知道爸爸真的要离开的时候，我变得完全麻木了”。

Reading Check

阅读上面的文章，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

注意：

1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右；

2.续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好。

Paragraph 1:

Two weeks went by with hardly a word from my father._______________________________________

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_____________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________

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Paragraph 2:

“Krissie,Dad told me that you wrote him a letter.Can I ask what you wrote to him?”_____________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________

写作导引

一、语篇研读

读后续写要求续写的部分在情节和逻辑方面与原文高度契合。为此，我们必须在掌握原文大意和叙述意图的基础上，分析所给文章的情境模式。

分析记叙文的情境模式，就需要关注5个W，即who、what、when、where、why。我们在阅读时要把握故事的情节线，分析故事的起因、开始、发展，并归纳出故事的主要矛盾，根据文章中已知的信息，如情感线索、行为线索、时间线索、空间线索等来推断将要发生的事情，合理构思续写部分的情节。

要素 分析：所给短文的情境模式 发展：续写短文的情境模式 说明：如此构思的理由Who What When Where Iloved Dad very much and Dad also loved us kids.After reading my letter,Dad wou⁃ldn't bear to get me hurt,and took his responsibility again to be a good father.Why My father,Mom,I,my siblings The relationship between Dad and Mom went worse and finally Dad decided to leave home.I was very sad and wrote a long letter to Dad,in which I expressed my love to him.When I was sixteen At home My father was not good at expressing his emotions,but I knew he loved me and I loved him very much.Knowing that he was going to leave us,I was overwhelmed by sadness.My father,Mom,I My father was touched by my words in the letter,and decided to save his marriage and came back home at last.Two weeks after my father left home At home The letter I gave my fa⁃ther on the day when he left home had a great impact on him,which made him change his mind.

二、情节构思

基于原文和续写段落首句提供的信息，采用围绕中心提问的方法，构思要续写的故事情节，一般分为四步。

第一步，根据已给出的文本判断文章的立意。

文章给出的部分主要记叙的是：“我”一直以为父母婚姻幸福，直到“我”十六岁那年，爸爸下班后不再管家里的事情，也不跟妈妈还有“我”们这些孩子说话，“我”才意识到父母的关系出了问题。有一天妈妈对“我”们说，爸爸决定和“我”们分开。“我”伤心欲绝，哭着给爸爸写了一封很长的信。这表达了作者对父亲深深的不舍，在作者的心里，没有任何一个人可以取代父亲。

第二步，根据续写第二段所给出的段首句倒推续写第一段应包括什么内容。

分析第二段的段首句可知，爸爸告诉了妈妈“我”给他写了信，妈妈询问“我”信中写了什么，所以续写第一段要写爸爸和妈妈在两周以后见面了，并且进行了谈话，这样才能确保续写的两段是相衔接的。

第三步，围绕续写第一段所给出的段首句以及上面的分析进行提问构思：

1.What happened after my father read my letter?

2.What did my father tell my mother?

3.Why did my mother ask me the question about the letter?

第四步，围绕续写第二段所给出的段首句进行提问构思：

1.How did I reply to my mother's question?

2.What did my mother say about the letter?

3.How did my letter influence my father and mother's relationship?

三、润色成篇

在续写的过程中要注意情节连贯，各部分内容相衔接：1.续写的两段与所给短文的衔接；2.每段的续写与续写段段首句之间的衔接；3.续写的两段之间的衔接。同时要注意语言风格的一致和语法、句型以及所用词的准确性。比如，刻画人物形象时运用恰当的形容词使其栩栩如生；描写人物心理活动时使用一些副词或介词短语结构使其细微深入。