抽丝剥茧，有效塑造人物

2022-01-26浙江彭文国

疯狂英语·新策略 2022年1期

浙江彭文国

【问题导读】

读后续写的实质是根据原文所提供的情节写出合适的结尾。正如往期文章所谈到的，要想写出符合原文主旨，语言风格一致并能启迪、激发读者思考的结尾，我们就要考虑文章的结构、语言的使用、情节的设计，而这一切最终要落在对人物的塑造上，因为人物是故事的核心，也是体现文章主旨、表达作者思想的关键。那么，我们该如何在续写中塑造人物呢？

【名师导学】

要有效塑造核心人物，让重点人物特点突出，活跃起来，让人物为主题服务，使我们的续写能吸引读者，引起情感共鸣，发人深省，我们要注意以下几点：

1.准确理解原文的主旨，尤其是对原文中刻画重点人物的关键细节描述要有准确的把握

在本刊往期的文章中，凯文的爸爸带凯文去湿地打鸭子，但是凯文并不喜欢打猎，他所喜欢的是拍照：拍美丽的景色，拍活泼的动物。因此，在描述拍照的时候，文章用到了he enjoyed very much。然而，当他爸爸要他开枪射击的时候，他极不情愿。但是，他又不想让他爸爸不高兴，所以他很纠结，很矛盾。此时，文章用到了“He prayed in his deep heart,‘Don't let the ducks come,please.’”。

从这些文字中，我们可以看出凯文的喜好和性格特点。那么在续写的时候，我们就能很好地把握故事情节的设计以及人物动作、心态和语言的描述。因此在续写中，我们就恰当地使用了“Kevin said in a low voice,with his lips shaking.He sat on the grass,his face bur⁃ied in his arms and burst into tears.”等表达来描述他矛盾的心情。

在本文的案例导引中，原文中作者是一个自傲并且有点自私的人：他不愿他的劳动所得让整个家庭使用。但是，这不是文章的主旨。本文的主旨是要描述一个心地善良、理解父母、懂事乖巧的孩子。因此，在续写中，我们要以此为主旨来描述和塑造人物。

所以，要想在续写中准确、合理、精彩地塑造人物，我们首先要读懂原文的人物人设。

2.通过对人物的语言、动作、心理描写来塑造人物

人物的形象展示不是单一的、片面的，而是立体的、多维的。要想塑造完整、鲜活、立体的人物形象，我们就要通过引用人物的语言、描述人物的特定动作、描述人物的心理活动来全方位进行塑造。因此，我们在续写中塑造重点人物时，要注意尽量符合重点人物的性格特点和生活背景。

由于篇幅所限，人物语言的直接引用不宜过多。但是，在合适的语境下，要尽可能设计一些特别能反映重点人物特征的对话。如在本刊往期文章的续写中，使用They were so cute and lovely来展示凯文对动物的怜爱之心。在本文的案例导引文章中，为了表达作者的善良懂事、理解父母，可以用“Dad,here is what I got for my work.I hope it will help.”这样的直接引语。

动作可以间接地反映人物的思想。如果在文章中能设计恰当的动作，就可以很好地帮助塑造人物的形象。如在本刊往期的文章中，在描述凯文的动作时，就用到了 his lips shaking、his face buried in his arms、burst into tears等，这些描述很好地表达了凯文当时矛盾、痛苦的心情。

为了更好地分析和展示人物的形象，在写作中，我们也经常使用心理描写。心理描写可以提供语言和动作不能表达的信息，是塑造人物的重要方法。比如在本文的案例导引中，描述作者想到钱可能要被收走时，可以用heart sank来描述作者的心情。

【案例导引】

阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

（2021年浙江卷)My dad,George,on⁃ly had an eighth grade education.A quiet man,he didn't understand my world of school activities.From age 14,he worked.And his dad,Albert,took the money my dad earned and used it to pay family ex⁃penses.

I didn't really understand his world either:He was a livestock trucker,and I thought that I would surpass(超过)any⁃thing he had accomplished by the time I walked across the stage at high school grad⁃uation.

Summers in the mid⁃70s were spent at home shooting baskets,hitting a baseball,or throwing a football,preparing for my fu⁃ture as a quarterback on a football team.In poor weather,I read about sports or prac⁃ticed my trombone(长号).

The summer before my eighth grade I was one of a group of boys that a neighbor⁃ing farmer hired to work in his field.He ex⁃plained our basic task,the tractor fired up and we were off,riding down the field look⁃ing for weeds to spray with chemicals.Af⁃ter a short way,the farmer stopped and pointed at a weed which we missed.Then we began again.This happened over and over,but we soon learned to identify di⁃fferent grasses like cockleburs,lamb's⁃quarters,foxtails,and the king of weeds,the pretty purple thistle.It was tiring work,but I looked forward to the pay,even though I wasn't sure how much it would amount to.

At home,my dad said,“A job's a big step to growing up.I'm glad you will be contributing to the household.”My dad's words made me realize that my earnings might not be mine to do with as I wished.

My labors lasted about two weeks,and the farmer said there might be more work,but I wasn't interested.I decided it was not fair that I had to contribute my money.注意：

1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右；

2.续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好。

Paragraph 1:

The pay day arrived at last._________

______________________________

Paragraph 2:

I understood immediately what my parents were worried about._________

______________________________

1.人物分析

从以上分析可以看出，原文中作者是很自傲也很自私的人。那么在续写中，就要体现这个性格特点。

2.续写人物塑造

根据续写所给的第一段的段首句“The pay day arrived at last.”可知，作者终于领到了工资，那作者会怎样处理这笔钱呢?这里的描述就要体现原文中所反映出的作者自私自傲的性格特点。本段的描述中，首先要描写作者拿到工资后欣喜的心情，然后描写原文中所暗示的其比较自私的性格特点。

在描写作者拿到工资时的心情时，可以用delighted、huge sum of money、with great excitement等词汇。为了描述作者的自傲，可以用For my grand future,I need...等句式。

本段重点要描写的是作者想起父亲可能会收回他的钱以供家庭使用时的心情。这里，我们可以使用一系列表示失望的词汇，如heart sank（描述心情），用这样的词汇来塑造作者最初的形象。

当然，正如之前所说，我们一定要准确理解文章的主旨。本文的目的肯定不是描述一个自傲又自私的孩子，而是通过一系列铺垫来反映人性之美、亲情之浓。因此，在下一段，就一定要用积极的、正面的词汇来塑造人物。第二段的首句“I understood immediately what my parents were worried about.”奠定了下文的感情基调。续写第二段可以用大量词汇和句子来描写作者对父母的理解，这些是作者心理转变的关键，如they had been working hard、hardly made ends meet、they had a big family to feed 等。关于作者心理的转变，可以用过渡句，如“Suddenly,I understood my parents and re⁃alized what I should do.”。在这一切铺垫完成之后，可以设计一个充满深情的话语表述：“Dad,here is what I got for my work.I hope it will help.”。这样，文章对重点人物的塑造就比较立体。

在第二段的最后，要写出父母看到作者懂事之后的积极感受，让文章得到升华。这样，文章的人物得到了合适的塑造，而结尾也提升了文章的品质。

3.范文赏析

Paragraph 1:

The pay day arrived at last.I was de⁃lighted to finally get the payment after I worked hard for two weeks.On the way home,I thought about how to make use of the“huge”sum of money with great excite⁃ment.But suddenly,I remembered my Dad's words.My heart sank immediately.Ap⁃proaching my house,I noticed my dad and mom standing beside the old truck,looking sad.“How much do we still need to pay for a new truck?”asked my mother.“Eight hundred dollars,but we had little left.”

Paragraph 2:

I understood immediately what my parents were worried about.I knew that the truck always broke down.My parents had been considering buying a new truck.Al⁃though they had been working hard,they al⁃ways hardly made ends meet,mainly be⁃cause they had a big family to feed.Sud⁃denly,I understood my parents and real⁃ized what I should do.I said,“Dad,here is what I got for my work.I hope it will help.”Delighted at what I did,my mom hugged me tightly.That night,I decided to contin⁃ue my work because I learned the true meaning of growing up.

【模拟导练】

阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

On a weekend,a woman won a big bag of coins on a game machine.With great excitement,she suggested going out to have a big dinner with her husband.But first she wanted to put the coins in her room.

“I'll be right back and we'll go to eat,”she told her husband.Then she car⁃ried the bag to the lift.As she was about to walk into the lift,she noticed two men al⁃ready aboard.

Both were huge,very huge figures.The woman was scared.Her first thought was:“These two are going to rob me.”Her next thought was:“Don't be afraid.They look like nice gentlemen.”

But fear seized her.She stood and stared at the two men.She felt anxious and ashamed.She hoped they didn't read her mind.Surely,they knew her hesitation about joining them in the lift.It was all too obvious.Her face was red.She couldn't just stand there,so with an effort of will she picked up one foot,stepped forward,followed with the other foot and was in the lift.Avoiding eye contact,she turned around and faced the lift doors as they closed.

A second passed,and then another second,and then another.Her fear in⁃creased!The lift didn't move.Panic con⁃sumed her.“ Oh dear,”she thought,“I'm about to be robbed!”

Her heart sank and sweat poured.Then one of the men said,“Hit the floor.”Instinct(本能）told her:Do what they tell you.The bag of coins flew upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed on the lift carpet.A shower of coins rained down on her.“Take my money and spare me,”she prayed.

More seconds passed.She heard one of the men say politely,“Madam,if you'll just tell us what floor you're going to,we'll push the button.”The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out.He couldn't help laughing.

注意：

1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右；

2.续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好。

Paragraph 1:

She lifted her head and looked up at the two men._______________________

______________________________

Paragraph 2:

Then,the lift arrived at her floor._____

______________________________