A New Year’s Card
2020-12-21张超
本期点评名师
张超 男,河北省衡水市阜城县第四中学高级英语教师、县骨干教师、市优秀英语教师,从事英语教育教学工作31年;多年来,在省级以上报刊《中学生英语》《学英语》《英语周报》《中学生英语读写》《中学英语园地》《英语辅导》《校园英语》等发表文章数百篇,并有多篇论文获奖;曾参与高中版教辅资料《天天向上》和《三维方案》的编写工作;曾荣获“中央教育科学研究所全国基础教育科研先进个人”荣誉称号;多次辅导学生在省、市和国家级英语竞赛中获奖。
A New Years Card
Dear Jack,
New Year is coming and I wish you a happy New Year. New Year means a new begin① for a year and a new chance to take hold of life.
It is a long time since we last meet②. I miss you so much that I hope we can meet soon. I am really thankful for everything which③ you have done for me. I would like to send this card to show my gratefulness. I want to say that what④ lucky I am to meet you in my life. I hope this little card can turn into white clouds that take my endless blessings to you. I hope that our friendship can last forever.
Again, please accept my best wishes—I hope you have the most⑤ happy New Year!
Best wishes.
Li Hua
河北省阜城縣第四中学九年级 李军霞
1. 优点:
本文是一张新年贺卡。作者直接在开头就表达了祝贺,还补充了很多信息,表示了对收卡人的思念,使贺卡内容更加充实、饱满。短文要点齐全、行文流畅、语言得体。小作者还使用了宾语从句表达祝福,为文章增色不少。总之,该习作为一篇优秀的习作。
2. 需要修改的地方:
①“begin”改为“beginning”。“new”修饰的应为名词。
②“meet”改为“met”。“It is+时间段+that从句”句型中,that从句应使用一般过去时态。
③“which”改为“that”。“anything”“something”“everything”等不定代词用作先行词时,要由关系代词“that”来引导定语从句。
④“what”改为“how”。这里“how”引导感叹句,修饰形容词“lucky”。
⑤“the most”改为“a most”。“a most”有“非常”之意。
3. 评分:
按中考英语作文满分20分的评分标准,本文修改前可得17分。