小幽默

杨扬

How Many Rabbits？

Teacher： Now， Jonathan， if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits， how many rabbits would you have？

Jonathan： Nine， sir.

Teacher： Nine？

Jonathan： I've got one already， sir.

多少只兔子？

老师：好，乔纳森，假如我给你三只兔子，第二天我又给你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？

乔纳森：一共有九只，先生。

老师：九只？

乔纳森：先生，我本来就有一只。

The Four Elements

Teacher： What are the four elements of nature？

Student： Fire， air， earth， and...

Teacher： And what？ Just think it over， what do you wash your hands with？

Student： Soap！

四大元素

老師：自然界的四大元素是什么？

学生：火、空气、土壤和……

老师：和什么？想一想， 你用什么洗手

的？

学生：肥皂。

Whose Fifty Cents？

Jack： I found 50 cents on the sidewalk in front of school.

Tommy： I think it's mine. I dropped 50 cents there today and couldn't find it.

Jack： But what I found was two quarters.

Tommy： Then I'm sure it's mine. It probably broke when it hit the sidewalk.

谁的50分钱？

杰克：我在学校门前的人行道上拣了50分。

汤米：我想那是我的，今天我在那儿掉了50分，找不到了。

杰克：但是我拣的是两个25分的呀。

汤米：那就更是我的了。因为钱在掉到地上的时候可能摔两半了。

The Speaker

The after-dinner speaker was droning on and on and on， boring everyone to tears. One of the guests， fighting to keep his drooping eyelids open， turned to the lady on his right and said， “Can nothing be done to shut him up？”

“If there is， I'd like to know，” said the lady， “I'm his wife and I've been trying to shut him up for twenty years.”

讲演者

晚餐后一位讲演者冗长沉闷地说个没完没了，使每个人都烦得哈欠连天，有一位客人使劲睁开他沉重的眼皮，转向坐在他右边的一位夫人说：“有没有办法使他不说了？”

“如果有办法的话，我倒很想知道。”这位夫人说：“我是他的妻子，我已经试了二十年了，都没能办到。”