A Sports Meeting
2020-08-10陈传光
本期点评名师
陈传光 男 江苏省连云港市罗阳中学高级教师,从事教育工作逾15年。江苏省教育学会会员,连云港市优秀教育园丁,英语专业技能大赛市一等奖,班主任基本功大赛市一等奖;有多篇论文在各主流和核心期刊上发表;指导学生在各类竞赛中取得了出色成绩,多人获得省级奖和地市级奖。
Today our school held a sports meeting. It began at 8 oclock. Many students joined① it. There were② high jump, long jump, 50-metre race, 100-metre race and so on.
In Boys 1,000-metre race, Zhang Fan from Class 3 had a fall on the first lap, and③ he stood up and went on running. Many students stood up and cried, “Well done!Come on!” He began to pass some other runners on the last lap. He came out second. We should learn from him.
江蘇省连云港市罗阳中学七(2)班 张成志
1. 优点:
作者介绍了一次学校运动会,并且着重讲述了一位同学在长跑比赛中摔倒,然后爬起来继续比赛的事例。文章语言生动,情节紧凑,是一篇不错的学生习作。
2. 需要修改的地方:
①joined改为joined in。join后面接团体、组织或人群,join in后面接活动。
②were改为was。there be结构是根据就近原则确定be动词的形式。
③and改为but。上下句之间是转折关系。
3. 评分:
按江苏省连云港市中考英语作文满分25分的评分标准,本文修改前可得23分。