English Jokes

广西南宁市友爱小学 吴 静 编译

1 Lunch is on Me!

午餐就指望我了！

Question:What did one plate say to the other?

Answer:Lunch is on Me!

问：一个盘子对另一个盘子说了什么？

答：午餐就指望我了！

Notes:

plate n.盘子

the other 另一个（人）

2 An exam paper

一张试卷

Teacher:What’s black and white all over and difficult?

Student:An exam paper!

老师：什么东西整个都是黑白分明，而且很难？

学生：试卷！

Notes:

all over 整个

exam paper 试卷

3 A smart answer

一个机智的回答

Teacher:How didColumbus’men sleep on their ships?

Student:With their eyesshut!

老师：哥伦布的手下们是怎么睡在船上的？

学生：闭着眼睛睡觉！

Notes:

Columbus 哥伦布（意大利航海家、探险家） shut v.关；闭

4 Can I go out to play?

我可以出去玩吗？

Child:Mom,can I go out to play?

Mom:What? With those holes in your pants?

Child:(looking down at his pants) No,with the kids next door...

孩子：妈妈，我可以出去玩吗？

妈妈：什么？你带着裤子上的那些洞出去玩？

孩子：（低头看着他的裤子）不，带着隔壁的孩子们……

Notes:

这个笑话的“笑点”在哪里呢？就在介词“with”的意思表达上。介词“with”在不同的情况下有不同的意思。在句子“With those holes in your pants?”中，它的意思是“带有……”；而在句子“with the kids next door”中，它的意思是“与……一起”。

5 Why do dogs run in circles?

狗为什么要绕圈跑？

Question:Why do dogs runin circles?

Answer:Because it’s hard to runin squares!

问：狗为什么要绕圈跑？

答：因为很难以正方形来跑！

Notes:

circle n.圆圈；圆

in circles 呈圆形

square n.正方形

in squares 呈正方形

6 An ideal excuse

一个理想的借口

Teacher:Where is yourhomework?

Pupil:Ilostitfightingthiskidwho said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.

老师：你的家庭作业在哪里？

学生：一个孩子说你不是学校最好的老师，我和他吵架时把家庭作业弄丢了。

Notes:

ideal adj.理想的

excuse n.借口；理由

homework n.家庭作业

lost v.（lose的过去式）丢；遗

fight v.打斗

kid n.小孩

7 Why aren’t you doing very well in history?

为什么你的历史成绩不好？

Miss White doesn’t like Bob,because Bob does notdo well inhistory.One day,Miss White asks Bob,“Bob,why aren’t you doing very well in history?”

Bob answers,“Because you keepasking aboutthings thathappenedbefore Iwas born!”

怀特老师不喜欢鲍勃，因为鲍勃的历史成绩不好。一天，怀特老师问鲍勃：“鲍勃，为什么你的历史成绩不好？”

鲍勃回答说：“因为你一直在问我出生前发生的事情！”

Notes:

do well in 在……方面做得好

ask about 问关于……

happen v.发生

be born 出生

8 I can’t go to school today

我今天不能去上学

Son:I can’t go to school today.

Father:Why not?

Son:I don’tfeel well.

Father:Where don’t you feel well?

Son:In school!

儿子：我今天不能去上学。

父亲：为什么不呢？

儿子：我觉得不舒服。

父亲：你哪里不舒服？

儿子：在学校！

Notes:

Why not? 干吗不呢？

feel well 感觉不错

9 My son has a bad cold

我儿子得了重感冒

Bill is anaughty pupilin Class 3,Grade 4.He is verylazy.Hegets up latethis morning.He doesn’t want to go to school,so hecallsthe schoolsecretary.

On the phone,Bill says,“My sonhas a bad coldand he won’tbe able tocome to school today.”

The school Secretaryfeelsthat a boy is speaking to him,not a man.So he asks,“Who is this,please?”

Bill says,“This is my father speaking,sir!”

比尔是四年级三班一个淘气的学生。他很懒。他今天早上起得很晚。他不想上学，所以打电话给学校秘书。

在电话里，比尔说：“我儿子得了重感冒，他今天不能来上学了。”

学校秘书觉得是一个男孩在和他说话，而不是一个男人。于是，他问道：“请问你是谁？”

比尔说：“这是我父亲在打电话，先生！”

Notes:

naughty adj.调皮的

pupil n.小学生

lazy adj.懒惰的

get up 起床

late adv.迟了

call v.打电话

secretary n.秘书

have a bad cold 得了重感冒

be able to 能够……

feel v.感觉；感到

10 The world is changing every day

世界天天在变

“It’sclear”said the teacher,“That you haven’tstudiedyourgeographywell.What’s your excuse?”

Tom said,“Well,my dad says the world ischangingevery day.So Idecidedtowait untilitsettles down!”

“很清楚，”老师说，“你的地理学得不好。你的理由是什么？”

汤姆说道：“嗯，我爸爸说世界每天都在变化。所以我决定等到它安定下来再学！”

Notes:

clear adj.清楚；明显

studied v.（study的过去式）学习

geography n.地理

change v.改变

decide v.决定

wait v.等；等待

until conj.直到

settle down 安定下来

11 A proud father

骄傲的父亲

Mr.Jackson thinks that his son Arthur is verysmart.He is always proud of his son,and he isnevertired oftelling how smart his son Arthur was.

One day,an old friend comes to his home.He tells his friend that his son is very,very clever.The old friend says to him,“Can you give me anexample?”

“No problem,”says Mr.Jackson.“Arthur couldrecitetheGettysburg Addresswhen he was ten years old.Lincolndidn’t say it until he was fifty years old!”

杰克逊先生认为他的儿子亚瑟很聪明。他总是为他的儿子感到骄傲，总是不厌其烦地说他儿子亚瑟有多聪明。

一天，一位老朋友到他家做客。他告诉他的朋友他儿子非常非常聪明。老朋友对他说：“你能给我举个例子吗？”

“没问题，”杰克逊先生说，“亚瑟10岁时就能背诵《葛底斯堡演说》。林肯直到50岁才这么说！”

Notes:

smart adj.聪明的

never adv.从不；绝不

tired of 对……厌烦

example n.例子

no problem 没有问题

recite v.背诵

Gettysburg Address 葛斯底堡演说

Lincoln （美国总统）林肯

12 What Time It Is?

几点钟了?

Nancy and Mary were two little girls.They were classmates and good friends.One afternoon,they were playing together in a park when Nancy said,“Mary,Iwonderwhat time it is?”

“Well,it can’t be four o’clock,”repliedMary.

“Are you sure,Mary?”asked Nancy.

“Of course,I am sure,”said Mary.

“But how can you be so sure of the time?”asked Nancy.

“Because my mother said I was to be home by four o’clock and I’m not.”

南希和玛丽是两个小女孩。她们既是同学又是好朋友。一天下午，她们在公园里玩，南希说：“玛丽，我想知道现在几点了？”

“好吧，不可能是四点钟。”玛丽回答说。

“你确定吗，玛丽？”南希问。

“当然，我肯定。”玛丽说。

“但是你怎么能这么确定时间呢？”南希问。

“因为我妈妈说我要在四点钟以前回家，而我现在还没有回家。”

Notes:

wonder v.想知道

replied v.（reply的过去式）答复