Friendship via Vegetables

By Xin Shangxie

After dinner, an old lady neighbor of ours, brought us a red salmon freshly caught by her son that weighed two kilograms.I thanked her for the fish, and she thanked my in-laws for sharing with her the vegetables they grew in our backyard.

I have to say that the vegetable garden planted by my in-laws in the backyard is magical in building friendships with most of our neighbors.

The 86-year-old lady and her 89-year-old husband live to the right of my house.They are the second and third generation ethnic Chinese who have a son and a daughter.Their son’s wife is a native Canadian, and their daughter’s husband is ethnic Asian.None of them speak Chinese.The first time we met, the old man told us, “We are Chinese, but we don’t speak Chinese.” They are completely Westernized.They had been polite to us, but there was no further friendship between us, until my in-laws began to plant vegetables.

One year, in early summer, we started to share our harvests with our neighbors.When I first brought the old lady vegetables, she was very happy to receive them.She enthusiastically said a lot of words in English to express her gratitude, but I could only respond by grinning, giggling and nodding.This friendship built via vegetables started inadvertently that day.Not long after, they gaveus a salmon in return.

During the first few years after we started growing vegetables, it was my job to deliver them to the elderly neighbors regularly.Later, when my children grew up, it became their job.Now, as our two families got closer, my parents-in-law, who do not speak good Mandarin, are actually able to pass the fresh cucumbers, green beans, summer squash, and lettuce over the fence, in spite of the language barrier.The old lady also often brings us fish caught by her son.This year, we have received three fish from her.

Sharing vegetables has been an effective method for us to build friendship with our ethnic Chinese neighbors with a shared fence.At first, they were quite cold to us, and even sometimes cut the tree branches stretching into their backyard from ours.

The vegetable garden broke the ice, though.Maybe it was because my in-laws’ gardening skills impressed them, or because my in-laws would greet them from across the fence every day.I was surprised to find the neighbor’s wife chatting with my in-laws more and more frequently.They often exchanged planting experience and gifts through the fence.Our vegetables grow well, so we give them vegetables, and the lady brings us snacks.During the summer vacation, they went out to travel for a week.Before leaving, they even asked my inlaws to water their vegetables every day.

Our vegetables not only tour around the neighborhood, but also have become the standard gifts for our guests.Every guest to our house leaves with a bag of vegetables.Even friends who haven’t visited us for a few years ask about how our vegetables are growing when we catch up.

(FromBeijing Evening News, October 12, 2018.Translation: Chen Jiani)

蔬菜外交

文/辛上邪

晚饭后，邻居老奶奶送来她儿子刚钓的红肉三文鱼，足足有两公斤重。我俩反复互谢，我谢谢她送鱼，她谢谢我公婆送他们蔬菜。不得不说，公婆在后院开辟的菜园子真成了“外交法宝”，将我们和大多数邻居的关系提升到一个崭新的高度。

邻居老奶奶86岁，和89岁的老爷爷住在我家右边的房子里。老爷爷是第三代华裔，老奶奶是第二代华裔。他们儿女成双，儿子娶了加拿大本地人，女儿嫁了亚裔，都不说中文。第一次见面时，老爷爷就跟我们说过：“我们是华人，但不懂中文。”他们已经完全本地化，和我们见面客客气气却没有进一步的交谊，直到公婆开始种菜。

那年初夏，我们开始送菜给邻居。第一次给老奶奶送菜时，老奶奶很高兴地收下了菜，热情洋溢地说了一堆英语感谢，搞得我只能咧嘴傻笑点头。不承想蔬菜外交就这样不经意间开启了。没过多久，我们收到他们家回赠的三文鱼。

头几年，按时给高龄的邻居送菜是我的任务。后来孩子渐大，便由孩子承担起送菜的事儿。现在，随着两家交流增多，连普通话都不会说的公婆竟能隔着篱笆，在彼此语言完全不通的情况下，顺利地把新摘的黄瓜、豆角、西葫芦、生菜等递过去。老奶奶也经常送来她儿子钓的鱼，今年我们就吃了三条。

蔬菜外交在我们后院邻居的身上起到了最突出的效果。后院邻居也是华裔，最初对我们很冷淡，还把从我家伸过去的树枝都“咔嚓”掉。

破冰也是从种菜开始的。也许是公婆的专业程度打动了他们，或者是由于每天隔着篱笆相遇时公婆会主动问好，渐渐地，竟然看到他家太太在和公婆聊天。她们常隔着篱笆交流种植经验、互赠礼物，我们这边蔬菜收成好，送菜给他们，他家太太送小点心过来。暑假外出旅游一周，他们还拜托公婆每天去帮他家浇菜。

我们的蔬菜不仅在大多数邻居家、小区内旅行，还成了标准手信——凡是来家里做客的，离开时都会拎着一袋子蔬菜走，以至于几年前来过的朋友，再联系时都还会问我家的蔬菜长势如何。

（摘自《北京晚报》2018年10月12日）