谦虚，最具代表性的中国印象

文/金智（Jakub Ilczyszyn，波兰） 译/姜佳秀

如果要从我在中国工作生活的四年时光里总结出或者说选出最具代表性的中国印象，那毫无疑问是中国举世瞩目的成就和中国人谦逊的态度。

我想分享一下我个人的想法。这将会从一个人类学者的观点出发来讨论中国，同时也是一个波兰人关于中国的看法。

直到我发现身处中国时我才了解到，在我整个受教育的过程中，甚至在我的成长和生活的环境下，谦虚一直扮演着不可或缺的角色。如果你碰巧成为稀少且稀有的一种人，这种人我们叫他们“人类学者”，那你肯定听说过布罗尼斯拉夫·马林诺夫斯基以及他的方法论，这是关于人类参与社会生活的一大创新理念。这种方法论提倡对世界上所有的文化都保持着一种理解和谦逊的态度，也把一个优秀的人类学者定义为可以被描述出来的一个善于虚心观察的人。

就像我刚才提到的，生活在一个充满魅力的中国社会，作为一个见证者，和来自不同国家的朋友们交流互动，是一件非常有意义的事情。作为来自一个相对较小的国家的我，可以体会到一种难得的喜悦，因为大多数中国居民十分高兴能遇见一个对他们的文化和历史充满友善和理解的西方人。正如我所经历的那样，鉴于这个最基本的原因，许多中国人向我敞开了心扉。

为什么这个简单的道理在中国格外令人印象深刻呢？我只能从和睦、和平而又谦逊的中国智慧和中国影响力里找到答案。这种中国智慧和中国影响力除了存在于人与人交往的人际关系中，还存在于各个领域之中。中国，是一个如此开放又拥有巨大包容性的国家，它是一个如此亲切又热情招待四方游客的礼仪之邦，它又是一个如此勤勉谦逊、孜孜不懈努力发展的大国，这是中国在我心上留下的最深刻的印象。

有好几个刻骨铭心的瞬间都让我感觉到我被中国人传统的友善深深地吸引着，特别是盛大的庆祝仪式和日常的行为。我想给大家讲述我的一个难忘的经历。我来中国的第一天，是2013年的中秋节。刚到北京的时候，我充分地感受到中国是一个如此讲礼仪的国家。对于初来乍到的外国人来说，他们可能会被惊讶到，甚至会被误导。比如说下面这段不同寻常的对话，发生在一个波兰人和一个生活在北京胡同的当地人之间。

Summing up or even choosing the most significant impressions from over four years long life and work period in dynamically transforming China is definitely an ambitious task and as such must be approached with a great doze of modesty.

I dare to share my humble view here. It is going to be a view of an anthropologist and a view of a Polishman.

It was not until I found myself in China when I realized how modesty plays an integral part in my education, and even broader, in my whole background. If it happened to you to become one of this rare and odd individuals calledanthropologists, you must have heard about Bronislaw Malinowski and his method of conducting research, which was a revolutionary concept of participating in life of the people you try to learn about. This approach is full of understanding and modesty towards all the cultures of the world, which also defines a good anthropologist as somebody who can be described as a humble observer.

As I mentioned living in fascinating Chinese society and being a witness of its interactions with guests from other nations,I could experience a rare joy of coming from a relatively small and humble country, because most of Chinese citizens were glad to meet westerner being truly friendly and understanding towards their culture and history. As I experienced, many hearts and doors have opened in front of me, because of this very basic approach.

Why did these simple truths become so striking here in China? I can only see the answer in the traditionally harmonious, peaceful and modest Chinese mindset and the influence that it has on the whole region including interpersonal relations between people. Some of the things I love most about China is how open and unjudgmental it can be, how politely and warmheartedly it welcomes its visitors, and how modestly and diligently it can learn and work.

一个高鼻梁、蓝眼睛的外国人，他看起来完全搞不清楚方向，确确实实是迷路了。他问一个正站在四合院门口的男人：“Do you speak English?”（你会说英语吗？）这个中国男人露出自信的微笑：“Yes!”（会！）得到回答的波兰人喜出望外，看来自己是问对人了，波兰人拿出写着旅馆名字的名片继续问：“Do you know this place?”（你知道这个地方吗？）得到了一个更自信的回答：“Yes!”（知道！）“How can I get there?”（我怎么去这里呢？）这个波兰人问。但是这次的回答让波兰人困惑了，这个中国人说：“Yes!”（对！）几秒以后两个人哈哈大笑起来。

我后来才知道，这个中国人和成千上万的中国人一样，即使他们害怕开口说英语，但是他们热情好客，不失礼貌，尽力帮助困境中的人。

在许多对话里，先是英语，然后是简单的中文，我发现语言是相通的。语言为我们打开了一扇全新的、广阔的大门，也有许多值得期待的惊喜在等着我们。由于我对语言学很感兴趣，我很快就注意到了“可能”这个词在中文里意义颇多。中国人无论是在说英语还是在说中文的时候，“可能”这类词他们用得相当频繁。回想一下，在公交站点，我们经常听到的一句话：“56路公交车可能不在这停。”说这句话的人难道真的不知道56路公交车在不在这停吗？在公交站点没有可靠的信息告诉我们这里有没有56路公交车吗？很多情况下，答案都是肯定的，他们知道，他们也能找到公交车的具体信息，但是他们只是感觉非常抱歉，他们不想直接给别人一个否定的回答。所以，你才能得到一个非常特别的、非常有力的“可能”。

我想告诉我的“公交站点的朋友们”，这种情况对于外国人来说，是十分难以理解的，但是与此同时，我们也可以看到很多礼仪和谦逊和一个想做好主人的、做好向导的中国人。简单地说，所有的这些传统仍然实际存在着，在日常生活中处处可见。

我相信，这些独有的特色，毋庸置疑是中国变得繁荣富强的主要原因之一。幸运的是，这些特色并不是中国专属的权利，对其他国家而言，并不是不可复制的，除此之外，还可以为建设一个和平稳定的国际环境提供借鉴。

To give a little sample of these memorable moments when I felt totally charmed by traditional kindness of Chinese people I can recall both: splendid celebrations and little everyday gestures.From my very first day in China (which was the Mid Autumn Festival of 2013 in Bei Jing) I have experienced many examples of humble politeness. For a person who came from a foreign country they can be very surprising or even misleading. Such as this unusual conversation, which happened between one Polishman and a local from one of the Bei Jing Hu Tongs. Long-nosed,blue-eyed and completely lost foreigner asked a man standing in front of his Si He Yuan:Do you speak English?Chinese man’s face presented a wonderful smile and I could feel relieved after his confident response:Yes!So being sure I found the right person, I pointed the name of my hostel and asked again:Do you know this place?I heard another confidentYes. My last question was:How can I get there?This time the response left me puzzled. The man said:Yes. A few seconds after we were both laughing at our inability to communicate.

As I have learned later, this person, same as many other Chinese,put his sense of politeness and hospitality over his fear to speak English and was trying to help in this uneasy situation.

There were many other conversations when I could find a common language, first English and after some time also simple Chinese. Of course, it has opened a completely new and broad channel of communications, but there were many more surprises awaiting. Being interested in linguistics I quickly noticed how often the wordmaybeis used here. No matter if Chinese people speak English or Chinese you may find a great frequency of this kind of words and their original use. Think about this simple response at the bus stop:Maybe bus number 56 does not stop here. Does it mean that a speaker is not sure of his own words? There is no reliable information at the bus stop? ... It is very possible it is none of these. The speaker just feels very humble and does not want to give a negative answer, so you can hear this very special, powerfulmaybe.

To quote my bus stop friend, I could say that this kind situationsmaybeare difficult for foreigners, but at the same time you can clearly see lot of humility and politeness. A great will to be a proper host and a qualified guide. Simply saying all these very traditional virtues are still alive and commonly observed in daily life.

These distinctive features, as I believe, can be seen as one of the major reasons which made China so undoubtedly successful country. Luckily these virtues are not a subject of any exclusive rights and can be freely copied by other countries for their own prosperity, and what is more, for the peaceful and stable global environment.

当我回顾中国和欧洲之间不同文化的交流时，我可以清楚地看到在过去的数十年间，在这段交流历史中，中国占据了主导权。中国的发展要迅速得多，并且在不断地缩小与欧洲发达国家之间的财富和生活水平的差距。这强大的能力背后，少不了向其他国家学习的谦虚态度。而与此同时，现代的欧洲已经不像几个世纪以前那样受中国的影响了。在欧洲衰退的时期，这种观察似乎是非常典型的，也是在复兴欧洲社会时必不可少的。

Jakub Ilczyszyn, 中文名：金智，1984年生于波兰，毕业于格但斯克大学，人类学和行政管理双硕士学位。曾在波兰、乌克兰和中国任教。学术研究领域包括语言学、文化交流与沟通、饮食文化和教学方法论。自2013年开始，在中国工作和生活。目前任山东省潍坊学院外籍教师。喜欢旅行，领略中国的不同风景和别样韵味，把喝茶和下象棋作为日常消遣。

从这个观点出发，改革开放不仅给中国带来了翻天覆地的变化，对于世界其他国家来说，也提供了一个绝佳的向中国学习的机遇。然而这个过程，特别是对于世界上的一些大国来说，要求我们抱着尊重和虚心的态度。当然，在国际关系中，已经存在许多向中国学习的迹象，但我还是想给大家带来我个人的一些观察作为例子。

When I look at the intercultural exchange between Europe and China, I can clearly notice that in this very long history of mutual relations last decades belonged to China. It has been developing much faster than European countries shortening the distance in wealth and life standards. One of the reasons lies in a great ability to modestly learn from others which has been present in modern China. At the same time modern Europe has not been so much inspired by China as it used to be some centuries ago. This observation seems to be very significant in this period of weakening European identity and obvious need for revival in European societies.

From this point of view, the Reform and Opening is not only a great change for China, but also a wonderful opportunity for the rest of the world to learn from China. However this process requires a lot of respect and humbleness, especially among some of the powerful countries of the world. Obviously there are already many signs of this phenomenon in international relations,but I would rather bring some of my personal observations as an example.

Being a part of an academic subculture in China I also meet a lot of foreign teachers and exchange students. As people are different, their attitudes and personalities also differ a lot. After spending at least a few years in this social group you may find that some scholars or some students are getting more successful than others. Surprisingly sometimes these outstanding individuals were not that lucky in their home countries, at the same time some of these local stars are not that bright after coming to China. Why does it happen? Again, one of the reasons is modesty. The secret ingredient.

A lot of teachers after years of successful career gain a great deal of confidence that they have a right to educate others. Sometimes this conviction becomes slightly too strong, too offensive,and instead of teaching your subject you may end up asa great master of life. If you add subconscious believe that you came to the part of the world whichstill has to learn a lot, gradually you become incredibly arrogant, what is worse you do not even realize how devastating it can be for your relations with Chinese.

When it comes to foreign students, as I noticed, there is a very similar pattern. Chinese is one of the most difficult languages to learn for people from western countries, so it requires thousands of hours to learn it on the communicative level. Who can succeed? Only those who are fully dedicated, incredibly stubborn and humble, and even when you reached a considerable level you might be brutally brought down to reality by somebody who speaks one of the countless Chinese dialects or slang.

在中国，作为大学教师，我遇到了很多外籍教师和国际交换生。正因为人各不相同，他们的态度或性格上也存在着较大的差异。在这样的社会团体中相处几年下来，你会发现有一些老师或者学生变得明显比其他人要出色许多。令人惊讶的是，有些优秀的人在他们自己的家乡里，并不那么地出类拔萃。而与此同时，也有一些在他们当地属于佼佼者的人，来到中国以后，却变得平淡无奇。这是为什么呢？我再一次要提起，一个秘密的要素——谦逊，正是其中的一个重要原因。

许多教师，从多年的教学经历中获得了大量的自信心，认为他们有资格传授别人知识。有时候，这种自信慢慢地变得太过于强烈，甚至令人不悦，如果这种自信变得过于强烈，甚至令人不悦，他们就成了所谓的“人生导师”，而不是去教授他们的专业了。如果你潜意识里认为你来到的这个地方还有许多东西需要学习，渐渐地你会变得超乎想象地傲慢起来，最坏的是，你是落后的，甚至都意识不到这种傲慢，对你与中国人的关系来说，有时候会变成一个巨大的灾难。

我还注意到，当这种情况发生在外国留学生的身上时，通常都有一个非常类似的模式。对西方人来说，中文是最难学习的语言之一，需要付出成百上千个小时的努力，才能达到正常交流的水平。什么样的人能够成功做到呢？只有那些对待学习坚持不懈、持之以恒、虚心请教的人才能做到。而甚至当你觉得你的中文水平已经相当不错了的时候，中国各地数不胜数的方言或者俗语就能立马将你拉回现实。

你对自己的人际关系能力和语言技能已经胸有成竹吗？后面还有更多东西在等着你呢！光是走在车水马龙的大街上，就足够比任何地方都能让你保持警醒和虚心。听起来很奇怪吧？是我太夸张了吗？面对着街上熙熙攘攘的人群，来来往往的车辆，你永远不知道下一步他们会去往哪个方向。想想看，一个骑自行车或者步行的人，会在和一辆大卡车狭路相逢的时候感觉自己很厉害吗？所以，无论你在中国选择走哪一条路，每走一小步你都要记得，谦逊是至关重要的。

虽然我在这里短短的四年生活和中国源远流长的历史相比根本不值一提，但是这四年也足够让我了解到，当代中国之转变比我所知道的一些欧洲国家要迅猛得多。我是如何了解到的呢？鳞次栉比的高楼大厦、遍地开花的高新科技、家喻户晓的共享经济、意义非凡的工程成绩不胜枚举，闻名海外；高速铁路、玻璃栈桥、环境友好型的新型发电站等等。这难道还不够令人感到惊讶吗？

这些成就不是简单地靠复制其他国家采取过的方案政策就能获得的，更多的是把外国的思想与中国实际国情相结合，转变为更具有创造性的中国理念，从而得到的最优结果。这就在极大程度上保证了包括谦逊在内的中华传统理念不会被外来文化所替代。

You feel confident with your relations and langue skills? There is a lot more waiting for you. It is just enough to take a walk in the streets to discover that traffic, which is busier and more unpredictable than anywhere else, keeps you alarmed and sort of humble. Does it sound odd? Do I exaggerate? Just think for a while, how a cyclist or a pedestrian can be proud in front of a truck while sharing the same road. So no matter which path you take in China, on every little step you will be reminded that modesty is the core of its values.

Although four years are nothing comparing to a long history of this place, it is enough to understand that contemporary China is transforming much faster than some of the European countries I know. How can I know this? A brief look is enough to be amazed how many new building sites are over here, how many new projects in the branch of new technology and sharing economy can be seen, and how many ambitious engineering achievements are spread all over the country; the high speed railway, glass bridges and new environmentally friendly power plants just to name some of them.

These most successful projects do not copy solutions already existing in other places, but rather transform foreign inspiration in very own and creative way to bring even better results in very specific Chinese environment. This hopefully guarantees that some of the traditional Chinese concepts, as the value of modesty among them, will not be replaced by purely foreign ideas.

That is why I happen to be amazed by some of my students blind fascination by western cultures. While there is nothing wrong with being curious or even very sympathetic towards foreign countries and their heritage, it may seem unreasonable to always put their achievements, influences and brands first.This is also where I see a great role for myself and other foreign scholars working in China to truly represent your country of origin rather than only advertise it. Honestly inform rather than always compare your own country with China. This kind of healthy and responsible paradigm of teaching results in better understanding between Chinese and foreigners and also helps students to foster their own culture. All this is possible under one crucial condition. It is the virtue of modesty ingrained in teacher’s moral standards.

Consequently, when I see Chinese college students wearing clothes with some ridiculous English slogan printed on them which they do not even understand or blindly following some sort of western fashion (for example by adding some unnecessary English words while speaking Chinese), I know there is still much more work to be done, so I try to show them that the world is a very diverse place and they certainly should not forget about their roots and traditions.

这就是为什么我被我的一些中国学生们惊到了，他们被外国文化蒙蔽了双眼，他们是如此痴迷于外国文化。对外国的传统和文化充满好奇心，这很正常，没什么不好的。但是，如果总是把外国文化的成就、影响、品牌等摆在第一位，这似乎有点不合常理。而我在这里最重要的作用，和其他外教一样，是真正地、真实地介绍我们祖国的起源和文化，而不是给我们的国家打广告；如实地展示我们的国家，而不是总拿中国与之相比较。这种健康又有担当的教育典范能够让中国人和外国人更好地相互理解，也可以帮助同学们发扬他们本国的文化。所有的这一切，不是不可能，只是需要一个关键的条件——在教师的道德标准上，毫不动摇地保持谦虚。

所以，当我看到一些中国大学的学生，身上穿着印有英文字样的衣服，他们甚至不明白这些英文是什么意思，或者他们只是盲目地追随国外的潮流（比如他们喜欢在说中文的时候突然蹦出几个英文单词）。每当这个时候，我就深刻地感受到，还有更多的东西在等待着我去做。我想让他们知道，固然世界是丰富多彩的，但是他们也绝对不应该忽视自己的传统，绝对不应该遗忘自己的根。

我第一次来到中国的时候，我想尽可能多地了解关于中国的信息，汲取中国的文化。我去过名胜古迹、博物馆和美术馆，只为了经历和学习中国文化。虽然看过中国各地的青山秀水，美轮美奂的人造建筑，我还是难以想象在道教的起源地、中国功夫、传统的手工艺和繁华的现代中国之间有如此多的关联。甚至有几次我觉得我在同时接触两个不一样的世界，这真的太有趣了！

当我看到一幅全景绘画——《清明上河图》，它描述着北宋时期的自然风光和繁荣景象：寂静的原野、浩瀚的河流、高耸的城郭、穿着各式各样具有中国古代特色服饰的人物、街上摊贩陈列的货物，我在想为什么这种绘画风格在那个时候的中国是如此受欢迎？它和欧洲的人物画或者风景画有多么不一样？这样一幅特别的画作，我要如何才能真正体会到它的迷人之处？

当然，对于中国古画的赏鉴并不是一朝一夕的事，这需要与当时的时代背景和具有代表性的时代特征结合起来。我远不敢说我非常了解，但是那几天，画中的内容、人物，以及反映出来的社会形态、社会合作分工等都在我的脑海中，挥之不去。在画中，与高山河川相比，人们显得如此渺小，在中国古代人们就已经对大自然保持着一颗谦逊的心，也正是这种谦逊的态度与融洽和谐的社会氛围、团结统一的精神共同延续下来，构成了当代的中国社会。

最后，我想说在中国，我学习并体会到了很多中国特色，令人回味无穷，这比我从西方国家社会所学到的东西还要多。这种经历不会只是三分钟的热度而已，更应该被运用到实际的生活当中。中国传统的谦逊是增加个人成功的机会，丰富社会人际关系的重要秘诀。我希望这种近乎被遗忘的谦逊可以在西方社会重生，成为最好的中国舶来品之一。

谦受益，满招损。这句充满智慧的老话不需要任何的添加和修饰，如果非要添上点什么，我们能做的是，永远铭记它！

The first time I came to China I tried to grasp as much information about its culture as possible. I followed the beaten tacks of tourist attractions, museums and galleries, in order to experience and learn. Although they were full of impressive views and ancient artifacts, it was quite difficult for me to imagine too many connections between this ancient land of Dao, Gong Fu and handcraft and modern, booming, incredibly dynamic place I witness everyday. There were times when I felt that I was learning about two complete different places. Was I right?

One of the hints came when I was looking at one of many panoramic paintings that illustrate scenes of life showing old architecture, landscapes and lots of miniature characters of people wearing their own specific clothes styles and presenting their typical occupationsRiverside Scene at Qing Ming Festival. I was wondering why these kind of paintings were so popular among people of that time, how different are they from European portraits and landscapes, finally how I could find any beauty in this very special images?

Of course appreciation of paintings from ancient China is not easy these days, because of its highly contextual and symbolic character and I am far from saying that I can understand it very well. However that day it came to my mind that all this figures are very small, focused on their deeply social and cooperative occupations, in a word they all very noticeably have a modest look. That was one of the links leading to a modern Chinese society. Moderation, harmony, unity.

Finally I need to say that China helped me to learn these beautiful traits, understand them and value much more than western societies tend to do. This experience is not only limited to this sympathy, but also has a very pragmatic use. Traditional Chinese humility is a great way to increase chances of personal success and enrich relations in a society. I can only hope that this nearly forgotten virtue of moderation can also recreate in the western world and be one of the many export goods for China.

As a perfect bridge for international communication modesty should be most valued where there are people from many cultures. Simply because it can bring benefits for all of us. Words of old wisdom saythat pride hurts, modesty benefits(满招损,谦受益)and there is not much more we could add to this simple, moderate proverb. Actually, there is one thing we can add; we can follow it!