“Five Instances of Disusing the Rhyme and Three Difficulties”

Xu Yuanchong proposed the idea “Three Beauties in Poetry Translation”： a translated poem should be semantically， phonologically， and formally as beautiful as the source. Indeed， these aspects are worthy of efforts from translator dedicated to compose the best translation. Here I have some interesting thoughts about the discourse of Three Beauties， especially about rhyme in the phonological aspect.

Traditional Chinese poetry has a complete system of disciplined rules on using rhymes. Many scholars think it is necessary to use ending rhymes just like the original does； meanwhile many believe that the translation should follow the rules of English rhymes. However， it is commonly known in translation practices that rhyming in both English and Chinese style may have the defect of making additions and omissions to the original. Most translators have already realized the fact that it is hard to compose a fluent and poetic version while keeping original meanings and emotions if translating with rhymes. Here I will further explore the instances that are not appropriate to use rhymes in poetry translation.

1. When it is hard or impossible to find a most suitable word in English to be the correspondent and also preserve the rhyme

Sometimes when translating a Chinese image into English， we may have multiple options in word choices； however， only one of them is the most suitable corresponding word. What if the best word does not rhyme with other lines？ What if you cannot find even one correct sentence structure， to make the ending word rhyme with other lines？ Poems are always concise and short in forms； there are a series of condensed images which gives people very few options to change the structure and make it suitable for rhyme. Thus， it is sometimes necessary to make sacrifices in rhyme to maintain the fidelity to the original meaning.

2. When encountering special expressions from other cultures which are hard to make rhymes

Chinese and English pronunciation rules are quite distinct from each other. When Chinese images are transliterated in the form of Pinyin， it is inconvenient to find the rhyming word in English， sometimes even impossible if we follow the rules of rhyming strictly. In Chinese poetry there are many notions and images which are introduced to English vocabulary through Pinyin. There are names of buildings， locations， people and landmarks as well as names of festivals， events， dynasties， titles and times. It is unnecessary to deliberately find the best rhyming words but spoil original meanings or forms. Additionally， when translating the Japanese Haiku into English， due to the differences in pronunciation， there is also no requirement to use rhymes for the transliterated words. For example， when rendering the line “姑蘇城外寒山寺，夜半钟声到客船”， if the location “Gu Su” is put at the end， it is impossible to find an English word ending with the syllable “su” in the next line； if we put the name of the temple “Hanshan” at the end， it is also unlikely to seek out a word rhyming with “shan” in the next line. However， existing translated versions render 寒山 as “cold hill” to get the rhyme； it violates the original meaning and is not acceptable if considering the beauty of semantics.

3. When the use of rhyming words violates the beauty in form

4. When the use of rhyming words violates the beauty in semantics

In most translation practices， it is quite difficult for translators to keep all three beauties in their translation， so that a balance among the three aspects must be found. There sometimes would be compromises and sacrifices in phonology in order to obtain the other two when rhymes violate original meanings or forms. People should always remember that rhymes are only the tool to make a poem possess more readability and artistic effects； they are important， but can never be as important as the other two aspects. Quite many great translators like Ezra Pound， Witter Bynner and Yang Xianyi abandon rhymed verse to achieve semantical and formal beauties. One of the most successful examples is the translation of 野有死麇by Ezra Pound. By avoiding unnecessary ambiguity and misunderstandings， he creates an inspirational form of writing and preserves the most similarities to traditional Chinese folk songs. His version is also well accepted for the beautiful and graceful atmosphere built by Pound to express the pure love in the original lines.

5. When the translator tends to translate in a free prose style or a blank verse but not a strict verse style

There are three main styles of composing poetry： the free style， the prose style and the verse style. Accordingly， these are also three ways to translate poetry. Free style means to make creations in the form of expression； sometimes it looks very unique and distinctive. Prose style means to use the form of prose to render the original. Both of them have no specific requirements in rhymes. Only the strict verse style needs to use rhymes. When the translator prefers to adopt the free style， the importance of rhyme is diminished for other purposes， like the expressiveness of the prose， or artistic effect of free lines. Ezra Pound uses free style and footnote to translate Li Bais Yu JieYuan. He abandons rhyme but preserves the original beauty.

Above are the five instances I find improper to use rhymes in translation. I am sure there are other instances which are not covered here. And I hold very positive attitude that enriching such conditions is helpful to poetry translation.

Of course， there are obstacles about the use of rhyme that we may encounter， and general principles deserve further attention. Here I conclude them into three main difficulties on which translators should be very cautious.

1. The translation should strictly follow the basic rhyming principles in English poetry， which is very different from Chinese poetry.

In English poetry， there are basic rules for the rhymes which should also be valued. Rhymes， according to the linguistic features， can be divided into various categories. In terms of syllables there are full rhyme and half rhyme. Full rhyme is very strict in pronunciation. If the spelling looks the same but reads differently， they are eye rhymes instead of strict full rhymes. Half rhyme is divided into consonance and assonance. The former differs only in vowels； the later differs only in consonants.

The rhyme most commonly used is called ending rhyme： it locates at the end of each line. But the rhyme in the pause in the middle of one line is called internal rhyme. For example， there is a rhyme of “ing” in the line “Then blooms each thing， then maids dance in a ring.”

If the rhyme locates in the ending stressed syllable， it is called masculine rhyme or single rhyme to make the line more powerful， such as “late” and “fate”； but if there are two connected syllables for the rhyme， it would be called feminine rhyme， which can make the line sound lively， such as “emotion” and “ocean”.

The system is very hard to learn and adopt in real translation practices， for there are huge discrepancies between Chinese and Western rhyming techniques and the system is developing all the time. It may be a tremendous difficulty for translators who struggle in composing rhymed verses.

2. It is hard but essential to be creative to rhyme in poetry translation.

Poetry is an art， not merely literature； rhyme is an indispensable part for artistic features. Art allows translators to make creations freely to comprehend and adapt the original in the translating process. Successful creations are built upon courageous attempts to use new forms， make appropriate additions and omissions to the original and adopt rightful translation strategies. For example， Xu Yuanchong made many minor additions in his translations for rhyme； his additions are reasonable semantically， and have the function to help western readers understand Chinese notions.

3. When translating poetry for specific commissions， the three beauties should be well balanced to make certain influences， which mostly depend on the purpose of translation.

Once the circumstance has no requirement about phonological beauty， instead， other aspects like semantic or implied meanings in poetry are highlighted， the translation， given special purposes to communicate， should focus more on the commission. For example， Premier Wen Jiabao quoted one line from Lisao： 亦余心之所善兮，雖九死其犹未悔. The translator grasped the hidden meaning and translated it as “for the ideal I hold dear to my heart， Id not regret a thousand times to die.” There is no rhyme， but the original meaning that Premier tried to deliver is well conveyed. The translation was given a commission to serve as a political message， thus the rhyme can be disused while the semantic meaning is emphasized.

The nature of the Three Beauties as well as the ideas discussed in this paper is actually principles and guidance， and they will certainly serve for the ultimate purpose——to make a remarkable translation version. Xu Yuanchong also proposed Three Hua and Three Zhi， which include three translation methods and three levels to evaluate. Three Hua can be combined with these five instances and work together as methodology， while Three Beauties is the purpose of adopting methodology. Whether the purpose is achieved is evaluated by Three Zhi. Rhyme is just a branch of discourses in poetry translation， but the discussion is an enrichment to guide and systemize translation practices and theoretical approaches.

References：

[1]许渊冲.文学与翻译[M].北京：北京大学出版社，2003.

[2]许渊冲.唐宋詩一百五十首[M].北京：北京大学出版社，1995.

[3]李贻荫，毛红旗.埃兹拉·庞德妙译《诗经》[J].中国翻译，1994 （03）：42-43.

【作者简介】李东霖（1996- ），男，汉族，江苏南京人，香港浸会大学，翻译与双语传意专业，硕士研究生，研究方向：翻译理论与实践。