抓好“五个一”,写好作文没问题

湖北

（作者单位：湖北省巴东县第一中学）

关于高考英语写作如何拿高分的观点已有很多，如最流行的作文“五步法”，即：1.审题；2.列要点；3.将要点组合成句；4.连句成文；5.核对。对于一般作文而言，这五步是必要的，但这只是写作的常用步骤，而并非是写出优秀作文的真正方法。在此，作者根据多年指导学生写作积累的一些经验总结出优秀写作之真正出路——“五个一”。

所谓“五个一”，指的是：一套精确的语言运用（An accurate usage of language），一个恰当的文章结构（A balanced organization），一个引人入胜的开头（An inviting beginning），一个画龙点睛的结尾（An excellent ending）以及一手漂亮的书法（A fine handwriting）。

英语写作其实应包含三个层次：准确、流畅和优秀。准确是指能够使用较准确的词汇、句型及语法表达信息和要点，保证文章中没有语言错误，用词准确得当，结构标准，没有单词拼写、标点符号等问题。达到这个标准，写作可以得到及格成绩（15分）；其次是流畅，即文章中运用了恰当的衔接词或过渡句，使全文上下通顺，前后衔接，层次清晰，行文流畅统一。如果达到这一层次，文章已堪称好文，可得良好分数（20分）；第三个层次便是优秀，即文章不仅用词准确，结构合理，全文流畅，浑然一体，且全文语言精美，表达丰富，富有文采，此类文章当属优秀，可得21～25分。

“五个一”中的一套精确的语言运用是实现准确表达的目的。语言准确，不出现语法错误和结构问题，文章便可得及格分数；而一个恰当的文章结构便是实现流畅这一目的。要达到文章流畅，就必须调节使用大词及普通词汇、复杂句型与一般句型。一篇文章不可能通篇都使用高级词汇或复杂句型，这样会使得文章晦涩难懂，文意不畅。全部都是简单句或普通词汇，文章又会显得平淡，缺乏生动，更谈不上文采了，这种文章读着乏味，令人兴趣索然，即使无任何语言错误，也最多只能及格；只有在既保证了语言精确、语句地道流畅，再辅之于其他一些润色，使文章锦上添花，作文才能博得读者的眼球，才能被读者当作范文甚至美文欣赏，而一个引人入胜的开头，一个画龙点睛的结尾及一手漂亮的书法便是锦上添花之绝妙神器。这一过程可用如下图示显示：

1.一套精确的语言运用（An accurate usage of language）

下文是一篇选自2017年全国卷Ⅰ书面表达的考生习作（该文得分17分），本文信息表达完整，结构清晰，完成了全部的写作任务，语言的运用也注意了长短结合，简繁调节，文章比较流畅，但文章也出现了一些语言错误。

Dear Leslie,

How are you going with the lesson what I taught you a few days ago? Today I write to you is to tell you about our next lesson, it is about the learning of Tang poetry.

As is known that Tang poetry is the peak of ancient Chinese culture, which every Chinese is absorbed in.It does great help to your Chinese learning.We’ll meet in the students recreation centre and the accurate place is Room 202 on the second floor.Will on this Saturday evening be OK for you? I will meet you at 7:50 at the gate, because the opening time is at eight o’clock.

Looking forward to see you then.

Yours,

Li Hua

经过修改、重组后的范文：

Dear Leslie,

How are you going with the lesson that I taught you a few days ago? Today I am writing to tell you about our next lesson,which is about the learning of Tang poetry.

Widely known is that Tang poetry is the peak of ancient Chinese culture and many Chinese, including some foreign people are absorbed in it.I think it’s of great help to your Chinese learning.Will 8 o’clock this Saturday evening be convenient for you? We’ll have the lesson in Room 202 on the second floor of the Students’ Reaction Center.I will meet you at about 7:50 at the gate.

Drop me a line if anything is inappropriate for you.Looking forward to seeing you then.

Yours,

Li Hua

2.一个恰当的文章结构（A balanced organization）

以下作文语言表达准确，没有出现多少词汇拼写、表达方面的问题，句型结构表达也符合语法和句型要求，全文结构严谨、层次清晰，内容、信息完整。但文章没有注意长短句的结合使用，有时前后都是简单句，有时一些复合句又挤在一起，致使文章有时显得臃肿，而有时又显得平淡乏味。需要对这些语句进行重新组合，方能前后流畅，语言优美。

Dear Leslie,

I am very glad you have made much progress in Chinese learning.I consider your level now.I’d like to teach you something about Tang poetry.

Tang poetry is a little complicated and so I suggest you should borrow some books about Tang poems and learn to read some Tang poems and get some knowledge of great poets of Tang Dynasty.I wonder if the time on this Saturday evening is all right for you and the opening time is at eight o’clock.The place is in the Students’ library.The meeting time is at 7:30 at the library gate.Please tell me if the schedule is improper for you.

Looking forward to see you then.

Yours,

Li Hua

经过修改、重组后的范文：

Dear Leslie,

I am very glad you have made much progress in Chinese learning.Considering your current Chinese level, I determine to recommend you Tang poetry.

Strictly-structured and complicated，Tang poetry is a little difficult to learn.It’s advised that you read some Tang poems and get known something about the poetic structures as well as some great Tang poets in advance.The time is still at 8 o’clock on Saturday evening and the place is the Students’library.As I have something else to do after the lesson, shall I meet you at 7:30 at the library gate and start the lesson a little earlier?

Please tell me if there’s something unsuitable.Looking forward to seeing you then.

Yours,

Li Hua

有了以上两个“一”，一篇好文章基本成型，但如果要更上一层楼，达到范文水平，显然还不够，还应有一些美化或润色。

3.一个引人入胜的开头（An inviting beginning）

全国卷的英语作文一般是一封书信，书信一般有自己专门的开头格式。但固有的、模式化的开头会让人觉得有千篇一律之嫌，从而令文章索然无味。因此要想给人留下好的第一印象，就得有一个引人入胜的开头，这能够激发读者兴趣，博得好感。较好的书信开头语是开门见山点题，一两句话即点明主题，告诉读者写信的目的，语句应精炼，切忌拖泥带水，但应略显用词造句的功底，初露锋芒。所谓“凤头豹尾猪肚”，既然是“凤头”就应好看。一般采用两个句子，且一长一短，这显得有层次并富有节奏感。如：

①Overwhelmed by your hobby in Chinese culture, I’d like to invite you to the paper-cutting exhibition.Below is the detailed information.

②There’s good news for you that our school table tennis team is to enroll new members.Will you join us?

以上两个开头语均只有两个句子，皆为一长一短，但都清楚明了地介绍了作者写信的目的，且每个开头都使用了一定的高级词汇和句型，如①中的Overwhelmed by，Below is，前者是过去分词作状语，overwhelmed一词颇为高级，后者是倒装结构；②中第一句使用了同位语从句，enroll一词也非常精妙。这为全文得高分奠定了很重要的基础。

闻一多将天宝十四年“安史之乱”的爆发作为中国文学的分水岭。从文学史来看，这种大转折于诗表现得尤为明显。唐高宗麟德二年至唐玄宗天宝十四年，是“诗歌的盛世”。“从唐朝起我们的诗发育到成年时期了，以后便似乎不大肯长了，直到这回革命以前，诗底形式同精神还差不多是当初那个老模样(词曲同诗相去实不甚远，现行的新诗却大不相同了)。”［15］119诗至盛唐发展到顶峰，无怪乎闻一多将唐朝称作“诗的唐朝”。

4.一个画龙点睛的结尾（An excellent ending）

“豹尾”即结尾应干脆简练，刚劲有力。高考英语阅卷时，由于时间的限制，一般阅卷老师不可能认真仔细阅读一篇文章的每一个句子，尤其是当一篇文章比较长时。因此阅卷老师最看重的就是文章的开头和结尾。有了引人入胜的开头语，若再加上一个精彩绝伦的收官定会赢得阅卷老师的最大好感。重要的是全文会显得和谐统一，浑然一体，处处透着完美。这样才能让读者在读完文章后能够确保完整地了解了全文内容，不然会留下疑问或困惑。因此这种文章得高分也是必然的结果。常见的结尾大致有：

（1）使用谚语、格言或语录

文章结尾处适当使用谚语、格言或语录能够增添语言描述的分量和高度，可冠之于“冠冕堂皇”的可信度和引领作用。如：

①There’s a saying that goes “Life lies in the movement”.As China’s national sports, table tennis is appealing to more and more foreign friends.I hope you can be part of our team.

②As an old saying goes, “One-day teacher, life-long father.”It is the teachers that bring us up and make us what we are today.Our experience in the school will remain in our heart forever.

例①中“生命在于运动”阐释了运动的意义，而乒乓球作为中国的国球也暗示了乒乓球作为国民健身的主要方式之一不仅受到中国人的高度重视，同时也吸引了越来越多的外国友人。这增加了被要求加入校乒乓球队的外国留学生的决心。例②中“一日为师，终身为父”揭示了尊师重教的优良传统的重要性。老师是培养学生长大成人的第二父母，更重要的是教会了学生报效祖国，同时也为自己的未来打拼、奋斗的文化知识和综合素养。

（2）首尾呼应

首尾呼应是最常用的作文结尾方法之一。首尾呼应能够让整篇文章前后更加衔接，全文更加统一，同时又能起到深化和强调主题的作用，读后使人印象深刻。如：

① 开头：I am overjoyed to receive your email, in which you asked me how everything was going with me recently.I am too excited to tell you about my present situations.

结尾：Such is about my study and school life.How have you been recently? Looking forward to your reply.

结尾：China’s economy is expected to grow at a medium speed in the coming years, so an increase is possible in the investment in the movie industry and the number of quality movies.Therefore, its box-office income will probably enjoy a slight increase.

（3）归纳总结

全国卷的书面表达虽然多采用应用文体裁的书信，但无论是哪种书信体大多还是以叙事或介绍为主，在结尾处加上一两句点睛之笔进行归纳总结，在起到升华主题的作用的同时也有一锤定音的妙用，所谓“豹尾”是也。如：

①In short, internet voting, to some extent, is unfair, if not immoral, and cannot be trusted.Therefore, rules should be worked out and strictly observed.Everyone in our society should help those in need, but it is more important to be sincere and earnest.

②To conclude, in parents’ eyes, children are always their pride whatever they are and wherever they are.In the kids’eyes, to the contrast, they themselves are always the center.So what they really care is whether their parents can do as much as possible for them.They never care whether they will become their parents’ credit.

5.一手漂亮的书法(A fine handwriting)

有了“凤头豹尾”，而精准优美的语言、逻辑严谨的结构则完美填补了“猪肚”，一篇美文已经形成，但若要保证完美还得注意书写。任何人都不可忽视书面表达中卷面整洁，书写清晰、漂亮的重要性。高考英语评分细则中明文规定“卷面较差，以致影响交际，降低档次给分”。一般而言，同等质量的作文，书写优美与书写较差之间会有2～3分的差距。如果满纸乱画、随意涂改，极大影响阅卷老师的阅读，即使文章里面有一些可读性较好的句子仍只能得到10分以下甚至更低的分。试想如果你的文章语句并不差，只因为书写造成这种严重的后果，这岂不是天大的灾难！但每年这种“冤假错案”却数不胜数。

一手漂亮的英语书法并不难，注意到几点便可有所进步：

①与汉语书法不一样，英语书写讲究求同求一致原则，所有字母的书写要保持斜度一致、大小一致、高度一致、宽度一致、间度一致、风格一致。

②直线笔直，曲线圆润、饱满。英语字母不存在折线或拐弯，最好不要带勾。

③所有字母保持在格子三分之二的位置，上面不要顶格，但所有字母，除f, y, p, g, q等字母外都应下面贴线（y,p, g, q的上半部应贴线）。

④考试中最好不连笔，所有字母保持紧凑但不紧挨，但每个单词之间应保持相等的间距（一个小写字母w的位置）。

⑤切忌潦草或涂改，若需涂改，也应尽量不留明显痕迹，以不影响整体卷面为原则。平时写作文要养成打草稿的习惯，确保每篇作文都要有从草稿到誊写的过程。