新读写教育视角下的浙江省读后续写题型探究——以2017年11月英语试卷中的读后续写为例

浙江

（作者单位：浙江省华维外国语学校）

浙江省新高考英语试卷的最大亮点是出现了两种不同类型的书面表达，即概要写作和读后续写。不同于常规说明文体或议论文体的概要写作，读后续写往往以记叙文为主，通过讲述一个完整的小故事来展现包含正能量的大道理。要求考生在中心大意的一致性、写作手法的多样性以及语言知识的准确性、高级性三方面做到完美有机的统一，从而体现考生的中心捕捉能力、内容呈现能力和语言表达能力。笔者着力在新读写教育视角下从解题困难分析和应对策略探究两个角度入手破解2017年11月浙江省高考英语读后续写这一题型，希望能够起到抛砖引玉的作用，引起大家的共同思考。

一、读后续写题型解题困难分析

出乎大多数英语教师的普遍意料，2017年浙江省高考英语试题没有出现概要写作这一新的题型，采用了一篇与2016年10月份和2017年6月份一样的读后续写的作文题，究其原因，笔者认为主要是照顾到整张试卷的体裁平衡，在阅读理解B篇（衣服对人的表现的影响）、C篇（循环经济的好处）、D篇（记忆阅读内容的方法）、语法填空（提高词汇量的方法）、应用文写作（邀请外籍教师共度春节）共计已有五篇说明应用文体裁的文本后，再出现一篇说明类体裁的概要写作就会完全碾压阅读理解A篇（人与人之间的关爱）和完形填空（英语老师的勇敢）两篇记叙类体裁了，那就不符合新高考改革下对学生各种思维的全面考查，所以在这个背景之下出现了以下一篇读后续写的作文：

阅读下面短文, 根据所给情节进行续写, 使之构成一个完整的故事。

A vacation with my mother

I had an interesting childhood：It was filled with surprises and amusements, all because of my mother—loving,sweet, yet absent-minded and forgetful.One strange family trip we took when I was eleven tells a lot about her.

My two sets of grandparents lived in Colorado and North Dakota, and my parents decided to spend a few weeks driving to those states and seeing all the sights along the way.As the first day of our trip approached, David, my eight-year-old brother, and I unwillingly said good-bye to all of our friends.Who knew if we’d ever see them again? Finally, the moment of our departure arrived, and we loaded suitcases, books，games,camping equipment, and a tent into the car and bravely drove off.We bravely drove off again two hours later after we’d returned home to get the purse and traveler’s checks Mom had forgotten.

David and I were always a little nervous when using gas station bathrooms if Mom was driving while Dad slept :“You stand outside the door and play lookout（放哨） while I go, and I’ll stand outside the door and play lookout while you go.”I had terrible pictures in my mind:“Honey, where are the kids?”“What?! Oh，Gosh...I thought they were being awfully quiet.”We were never actually left behind in a strange city, but we weren’t about to take any chances.

On the fourth or fifth night, we had trouble finding a hotel with a vacancy.After driving in vain for some time, Mom suddenly got a great idea: Why didn’t we find a house with a likely-looking backyard and ask if we could set up tent there?David and I became nervous.To our great relief, Dad turned down the idea.Mom never could understand our objections.If a strange family showed up on her front doorstep, Mom would have been delighted.She thinks everyone in the world is as nice as she is.We finally found a vacancy in the next town.

注意：

1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右；

2.至少使用5个短文中标有下划线的关键词语；

3.续写部分分为两段，每段的开头已为你写好；

4.续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。

Para.1

The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us.

Para.2

We drove through several states and saw lots of great sights along the way.

在分析本篇文章时，学生们存在的最大困难是审题上的困难，即无法理解整篇文章的脉络体系，不知道文章的主题所在，被文章曲曲折折的表达内容所迷惑，在形成自己的思路时只能东拼西凑，不能够突出重点。相比2016年10月份读后续写篇章（夫妻走散重聚）和2017年6月份读后续写篇章（老师遇险获救）比较单向性的写作思路，今年这篇读后续写具有两维因素，给考生审题和写作增加了不少困难，因为它既要求考生写到妈妈的不完美（carelessness），又要重点突出妈妈对我们的爱（love），两者缺一不可，而且要有主次，这对于绝大多数考生来说是不小的挑战。

第二个困难存在于具体写作手法的展开上，有些考生能够明白写作的大体方向，但是在行文时却非常空泛，没有具体的自然环境描写、妈妈所犯错误的细节描写和妈妈展现给我们的爱的细节描写，也没有对这些情节的心理描写，更加没有运用到引用、比较、比喻这种较高级的写作手法，整篇文章相当单调乏味，缺乏实质内容。

还有一种困难是语言知识方面的困难，这具体表现在学生对于写前篇章的语言知识解读和写中语言知识运用两方面的困难，前者具体表现如下：有些考生不理解We were never actually left behind in a strange city, but we weren’t about to take any chance.这句话隐含的意思是虽然只身在陌生城市探险很刺激（轻微褒义），但是我们不愿去冒这个风险。这句话含有担忧的意思，间接影响读后续写活动的开展。后者则是表现为考生写出来的文章所用的词汇和句型偏向简单、没有出现高级句型、也没有令人难忘的词汇，没有给人耳目一新的感觉。

二、读后续写题型应对策略探究

针对上面所谈到的完成读后续写解题所面临的种种困难，笔者建议从细处入手，从逻辑角度层层推进，从分性—定向—组句—成文四个具体步骤入手，克服困扰学生在解答此类题型过程中的种种困难，使他们能够取得满意的分数。

1.分性

对于篇章内容，我们可以使用粗体（指代褒义）、正常（指代中性）、斜体（指代贬义）三种不同的字体来确定不同段落、不同句子所表达的不同意思，从而概而总之来确定整篇文章所包含的中心大意。对于2017年11月份的高考英语试题读后续写篇章部分，我们首先可做如下划分：

I had an interesting childhood: It was filled with surprises and amusements, all because of my mother—loving, sweet,andyet absent-minded and forgetful.One strange family trip we took when I was eleven tells a lot about her.

My two sets of grandparents lived in Colorado and North Dakota, and my parents decided to spend a few weeks driving to those states and seeing all the sights along the way.As the first day of our trip approached, David, my eight-year-old brother,and I unwillingly said good-bye to all of our friends.Who knew if we’d ever see them again?Finally, the moment of our departure arrived, and we loaded suitcases, books, games, camping equipment, and a tent into the car and bravely drove off.We bravely drove off again two hours later after we’d returned home to get the purse and traveler’s checks Mom had forgotten.

David and I were always a little nervous when using gas station bathrooms if Mom was driving while Dad slept:“You stand outside the door and play lookout（放哨）while I go ,and I’ll stand outside the door and play lookout while you go.”I had terrible pictures in my mind:“Honey, where are the kids?”“What?!Oh, Gosh...I thought they were being awfully quiet.”We were never actually left behind in a strange city, but we weren’t about to take any chances.

On the fourth or fifth night, we had trouble finding a hotel with a vacancy.After driving in vain for some time,Mom suddenly got a great idea: Why didn’t we find a house with a likely-looking backyard and ask if we could set up tent there?David and I became nervous.To our great relief,Dad turned down the idea.Mom never could understand our objections.If a strange family showed up on her front doorstep, Mom would have been delighted.She thinks everyone in the world is as nice as she is.We finally found a vacancy in the next town.

从上文可以看出阅读部分以贬义为主，点明妈妈的缺点（carelessness），但是也含有中性和褒义的内容，这就暗示写作部分既要顺承上面读的内容，写到妈妈所犯的错误（贬义部分），又要提到妈妈对我们展现的爱（褒义部分），接下来要考虑的是如何搭配，使文章出彩。

2.定向

确定好读后续写写作部分的性质之后，接下来要考虑的问题是确定写作内容的方向，第一段The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us.可以考虑写作方向向下，着重写妈妈在旅游途中所出的差错，以及我们对此的反应，而第二段We drove through several states and saw lots of great sights along the way.则可以考虑表达方向向上，主要表达妈妈对我们的关爱, 以及我们对此的反应。请看下面一篇考生的习作：

Paragraph 1: The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us.That night we set up our tent in a park.The moon was held up above the sky，shining her smooth and charming moonlight.Twinkle stars blinking,fragrant breeze gently stroke my head, as if comforting all the tiredness along the trip.The next day, Dad brought us to the car and asked me to clear all the things away.Not long after we came back to the car, Mom arrived, then we continued our trip.

Paragraph 2: We drove through several states and saw lots of great sights along the way.I was still recalling the splendid scenery when we were in the living room of my grandparents’.David excitedly narrated our experience,eyes blazing with enthusiasm.Worries came to his forehead when he explained the trouble.A smile lifted the corner of his mouth when it came to camping.Suddenly Mom shouted out in a strange voice.Haunted by a strong sense of honor, I heard Mom screaming“Oh, I forgot the tent!”

上文作者语言基础知识扎实，能够使用高级句型和高级词汇，而且可能经常阅读O • Henry的小说，采用以出乎意料的结局为文章收官的写作手法，这是作者在写作时展现出来的亮点，但是仔细分析文章的写作方向，我们不难发现全文没有展现妈妈对我们的关爱，所以无法紧扣文章主题My Imperfect Good Mom中的Good一词，不能不说这是影响本文取得高分的最大障碍。

3.组句

在考虑写作本文时，我们必须统筹安排写作的内容，比如如何合理安排轻微褒义的自然环境描写和对这些环境的感受(response)、贬义的妈妈犯的错误以及我们对她的错误的反应（reaction）、褒义的妈妈对我们具体的关爱以及我们的感受（feeling），如何确定写作顺序组合、写作侧重和详略及写作内容的衔接，这些都是组句这个环节应该考虑的问题，下面呈现一篇比较高级的范文：

Paragraph 1: The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us.Mom insisted that we must make full use of the tent since we had bought it.David and I looked at Dad, hoping he could stop her crazy idea.To our great disappointment, he agreed.We spent a whole afternoon seeking a nice camping place and set up our tent before the night fell.It was the first time that I had thought Mom could be wise.“Oh, I forgot the pillows!”What a misconception!But despite the ache of my neck, we had some great nights.

Paragraph 2: We drove through several states and saw lots of great sights along the way.The bright blue sky, the limitless green grass, the group of sheep, the setting sun and the countless stars in the curtain of nights kept me spellbound.Not only did we see the picturesque scenery,we also managed to consider Mom’s scandals as a kind of fun.I really love my mom.To our relief, we arrived at grandparents’place and went back to our home with all of four people.It was so fortunate to see my friends again.

这篇习作既有“妈妈忘记枕头”这个犯错误的情节（贬义）以及我们的感叹What a misconception，也有轻微褒义的自然环境描写以及我们的评价But despite the ache of my neck, we had some great nights.和Not only did we see the picturesque scenery...，也有我们对妈妈的爱的感受It was the first time that I had thought Mom could be wise.和...we also managed to consider Mom’s scandals as a kind of fun.I really love my mom.相比上面一篇文章，本文结构更加合理、内容更加翔实。

4.成文

经过了分性、定向和组句三个阶段后，我们进入了最后的收官之战，那就是组成文章。在这个环节，我们必须修饰加工，一方面在写作内容上更加突出重点，删除一些无关紧要的次要信息，凸显一些能够展现中心思想的主要支撑信息，使读后续写部分与前面阅读部分能够自然衔接，做到无缝对接。另一方面在语言知识上进行深加工，无论是语法、句型还是词汇上都要做到准确无误。比如时态前后一致、句型结构正确、不缺少也不多余任何连词，词汇上尤其是单词拼写上不能出现错误，避免硬伤出现。在三篇美文中，下面一篇学生习作是成文环节做得最成功的文章：

Paragraph 1: The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us.We decided to camp along the river throughout the town.The views there were surprisingly beautiful—the warm sunshine, the fresh air, the clean water.We sat on the grass, hooked by the splendid nature.However, when Dad was about to put up our tent, it suddenly occurred to him that Mom again, had left it, as well as the camping equipment in the hotel.Speechlessly, Dad had to go back to fetch them to continue our camping.

Paragraph 2: We drove through several states and saw lots of great sights along the way.Every time we got to a new place, Mom would cheer up like a child.Calling out David and I, she got off the car, laughed and danced around.She held our hands in her hands, leading us around the big city,the small town and the nice nature.When we came back to the hotel after the tiring but excellent visit, she would hug us and kiss us on our faces.Absent-minded and forgetful as shewas,she never forgot to express her love to us.

在中心内容上，本文紧紧突出了My Imperfect Good Mom 这个核心主题，尤其是文章最后一句Absent-minded and forgetful as she was,she never forgot to express her love to us.再次呼应中心，使文章非常切题。在写作手法上，作者运用逻辑思维，用1:2:3的比例分别展开描写妈妈犯的错误、自然环境欣赏和妈妈对我们的爱，结构非常合理。在语言知识上，运用了高级句型，如as引导的让步状语从句、it occurred to somebody that...主语从句和when引导的时间状语从句，还运用了hook, splendid, occur to, as well as, fetch, cheer up, hug等高级词汇，使全文语言处于高水平。从各个角度来看，本文都无懈可击，几近完美。

新高考改革给每位考生提出了更高的读写要求，但是那些感性和理性思维有机统一的学生，只要严格遵循“分性—定向—组句—成文”四步，一定能够轻松攻克读后续写这一堡垒，取得高考的胜利。