爱是良药

文/露丝·萨瑟兰译/王祥钢许效礼

爱是良药

文/露丝·萨瑟兰译/王祥钢许效礼

朋友和家人生病，我们前往探视是有原因的。这不仅仅是送去安慰。我们内心都清楚，良好的关系会让我们都感到愉悦。

There’s a reason why we go to visit friends and family when they’re taken ill, and it isn’t just to deliver grapes1葡萄（葡萄汁、葡萄酒）在希腊罗马文化中象征着欢乐和慈爱；在基督教文化中则象征着上帝的恩典和救赎。此外，西方有葡萄可治顽疾一说，称为“葡萄疗法”（ampelotherapy）。. We all intrinsically know that good relationships make us feel better.

[2]有证据表明，这不单纯是一种感情上的反应。实际上，良好的关系有助于预防疾病，加快康复或防止病情恶化。严格说来，“开怀大笑是良药”的老话也许未必正确，然而，至少，这是良药处方的一部分。

[2] Well now there is evidence that this isn’t purely an emotional reaction; good relationships can actually help to prevent illness, help us recover more quickly or prevent deterioration of health conditions. The phrase ‘laughter is the best medicine’ may technically not be true, but it seems it should at least be part of the prescription.

[3]显然，在预防和调治疾病方面，我们得另辟蹊径，寻找新的方法了。越来越多的证据显示，同朋友、家人和爱人的关系中包含着部分解决之道。比方说，病情危及生命时，关系稳固者，较之于关系欠佳者，其存活的几率要高50%。

[3] It’s clear we need to find new and different ways of preventing and managing health conditions, and a growing body of2a body of 大量（知识、信息）。evidence suggests that relationships with friends, family and partners may hold some of the answers. For example, those of us with strong relationships are 50% more likely to survive life-threatening illness than people with weaker ones.

[4]可是，正当我们亟须关系稳定的时候，生病造成的影响却会给关系带来压力。生病和治疗带来的影响有可能改变我们的生活方式，使人生气、内疚、伤心和焦虑。但病情也可以使人们变得亲密无间，提醒大家什么才是重要的，并给周围的人以机会，能够通过一些很实际的方式，表达关爱之情。

[4] However, just when we need them most, the effects of living with a health condition can put our relationships under strain. The effects of a condition and treatment can change our lifestyles and lead to anger, guilt, grief and anxiety. But health conditions can also bring people close together, reminding us what’s important and giving those around us a chance to show in some very practical ways just how much they care.

[5]久病调治的关键往往在于适应自身新常态，无论是面对自身疾病，还是作为患者的伴侣、家人或朋友。

[5] The key to managing a long term condition is often about making the adjustment to your new normality, whether that’s facing an illness yourself or as a partner, family member or friend to someone who is3此处省略someone who is (facing an illness himself)。.

[6]无论得病对于关系的影响是好是坏，久病几乎都会影响人际关系。很多时候，寻求某种外来的支持，是有好处的。

[6] Whether for better or worse, few relationships are unchanged by the effects of a long term health condition, and there are times when all of us would bene fi t from some extra support.

[7]如果久病影响到关系，自己又疲于应对，那就应当坦然无惧地寻求支持。下面几条建议可以让你们的关系焕发异彩。

[7] If you’re coping with the effects of a long term health condition on your relationships, don’t be afraid to ask for support. Here are some tips for keeping your relationships rich:

[8]有事不要闷在心里：

人们难过时，对朋友或家人往往情愿避而不谈。可是，开诚布公的交流真的很重要。

[8]Don’t bottle it up:It can be tempting to skirt around4skirt around对某事避而不谈。the issue with friends and family in case people get upset, but open communication is really important.

[9]预计到变化：要意识到，支配你们关系的种种原动力有可能发生改变，尤其是在爱人或家人担任“陪护”角色的情况下。此时，不要轻易猜度双方对这一改变会有何感想。

[9]Expect change:Realise that the dynamics of your relationships may change, particularly if a partner or family member is taking on the role of‘carer’. Don’t make assumptions about how this will make you both feel.

[10]为亲密关系留出时间和空间：如果是配偶关系，则应当每隔一段时间便使自己不再扮演病人/陪护的角色，拿出时间与爱人亲密相伴。也许可以在家里专门布置一个房间，在这个房间里，上述角色不复存在了，两人可以共度美好时光。

[10]Make time and space for intimacy:In a couple relationship, try to separate yourself from the patient/ carer role now and again to allow time for intimacy with your partner. Perhaps create a special room in the house where these roles no longer exist and you can spend quality time together.

[11]听取他人建议：“咬紧牙关硬撑”是很容易出现的情况，但是向中立的第三方倾诉一下感受，备好应变之策，对你处理好关系的变化会是有益的。□

[11]Consider counselling:It’s tempting to keep a ‘stiff upper lip5stiff upper lip（面对困难）不动声色，面不改色。’, but talking to somebody impartial about how you feel and putting mechanisms6mechanism途径，办法。in place can help you cope with the changes in your relationship.

Love Is the Best Medicine

ByRuth Sutherland