12 Mysterious Roses

By Cai Zhizhong

Translation by Zhu Yaguang

12 Mysterious Roses

By Cai Zhizhong

Translation by Zhu Yaguang

I was born an introverted person, exactly as the famous writer Li Bihua once described in her literary work, “He looks unimaginably shy to me, as if he needs legal protection like those endangered animal species.” However, there is something that she doesn’t know. Although I look shy and dull on the outside, I am extremely confident and passionate on the inside.

A few years back, I was sharing an apartment with Li Longdong, my junior high school classmate,who was attending night school to study economics at Chinese Culture University and working at Aurora Corporation during the day.

It was a Saturday afternoon when Li Longdong was off duty, and he told me, “Today we got a new colleague named Li Ziding. She is incredibly pretty.”

I said, “Then you should go after her before she is taken.”

“No way, she has the same family name as me.”

“What’s the problem? I’ve seen a lot of couples with the same surname.”

“My grandma warned me against marrying someone like that.”

“Fine, then I’ll go after her,” I said.

“You’re such a shy person. How are you going to do that?”

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t need to do it myself. A few tricks will help me win her over.”

When I was sixteen or seventeen, I shared a dorm with three other friends. At that time, I was aware of the fact that although women and men were both human beings, they were in fact two different species.

Unlike with a man, it is difficult to understand a woman. Women can never be judged from the standpoint of men and vice-versa.

At that time, we cartoonists never regarded our job as extraordinary. Whenever the laundromat had a new, beautiful countergirl, or the grocer had a new, pretty lady selling fruit, and one of us proclaimed we were pursuing the girl, we would suggest he send laundry to the shop or buy fruit from her.

We’d also make a pitch for him, saying things like, “See how incredibly he draws,” and “He is more loaded than any of us.”

Sometimes, I think that women are really stubborn. If a woman has someone else in mind and doesn’t like the man who is after her, no matter how hard he tries to sweet-talk her, she won’t fall for him. However, when it comes to men, the whole situation changes. If a girl is chasing after a boy, he will eventually accept her, even if he is actually into another girl.

我生性害羞，有如作家李碧华文中所说：腼腆、害羞得匪夷所思，像是濒临绝迹的稀有动物，需要立法保护。其实，李碧华不知道，我外表非常羞涩，内心自信强大得无与伦比。

那时，有一位跟我合租房子的初中同学李隆东，上文化大学经济系夜间部，白天在震旦行上班。

有一次，星期六下班，李隆东说：“今天，我们公司来了一位名叫李紫锭的新同事，长得非常漂亮。”

我说：“你赶快追啊。”

“不行，她跟我同姓。”

“我看过同姓结婚呢，有什么关系。”

“我奶奶有交代，不能跟同姓交往。”

“好吧，我来追。”

你那么害羞，怎么追？”

“放心，我不必亲自出马，略施手段，一定能追到手。”

我十六七岁时，跟范万楠等四个人同租房子，一起画漫画。那时，我便看得很清楚，女人跟男人，虽然都是人，其实是不同物种。

女人跟男人不一样，难以了解，不能站在男人的立场思考女人，同样也不能站在女人的立场思考男人。

当时，我们虽然是漫画家，却没有觉得漫画家身份有多么了不起，洗衣店新来一个美丽的柜台小姐，或菜市场新来一个漂亮的水果妹，四个人中，有人宣称要追，我们便让他去送要洗的衣服或买水果。

大家在旁边替他说好话：“他漫画画得最棒，赚钱最多啦。”

我发现女人死心眼，如果女人不太喜欢正在追她的那位男生，喜欢另一位时，好话说尽都不行。

男生的情况则不同，四位女生中，一位女生倒追一个男生，时间久了，男生会接受，虽然他其实喜欢另一位女生。

当时我知道一个事实：

一群男生要追一群女生中的其中一位，证明自己是这群男生中最厉害的，没有用，女人不吃这一套。

应该反过来，用聚光灯照这个女生，照久了，她便全身虚脱，失去抵抗力。

李隆东说：“我听不懂你的神秘理论，具体你要怎么做？”

当时，玫瑰一朵一块钱，我给李隆东100元和7张写着字体秀气的Black Tulip（黑色郁金香）的紫色小卡片，请他星期一上班前，交给震旦行旁边长安东路与中山北路交叉口的花店，要花店每天早上九点整，送12朵玫瑰给李紫锭小姐。

This was the conclusion that I drew at that time:when a boy was romancing a girl, trying to prove that he was the best among his fellows didn’t help,as girls wouldn’t buy it.

Instead, take the opposite approach: put the girl in the spotlight. After a while, she will be too weak to put up mental defenses any longer.

“Well, I’ve no idea of your mysterious love theory. What exactly are you going to do?” asked Li Longdong.

In those days, one rose sold for one Taiwan dollar. I gave Li Longdong 100 Taiwan dollars and seven purple cards with the words “Black Tulip”written on each one of them elegantly. I asked him to give the flowers and cards to the flower shop near his workplace the next Monday before work and tell the shop to deliver 12 roses to Miss Li Ziding at 9 o’clock sharp every morning.

During the next week, nothing happened for the first three days, but on Thursday, when Li Longdong came back home after work, he told me excitedly, “It worked! You, Li Ziding, another girl from the office, and I are going to watch a musical drama at 6 p.m. tomorrow. We’ll meet at the gate of Rixin Theater.”

“Tell me what happened,” I said.

Li Longdong elaborated on the course of events.

On Tuesday, another 12 roses arrived, and some female colleagues secretly asked her about it, but she said she had no idea who they were from.

On Wednesday, still 12 roses. After privately discussing with her female colleagues, she decided to find out who “Black Tulip” was.

At 9 o’clock on Thursday morning, Li Longdong was caught, probably for peeping through the office door, and was besieged by the female colleagues who pushed him to confess about the flowers. He had to tell them the truth that I was the “Black Tulip.” Immediately Miss Li Ziding made Li Longdong drive her to our apartment. There, she sat by my desk alone for a long while before getting back to work.

Because of the 12 roses arriving at 9 o’clock every morning, Miss Li Ziding was distracted on the first day, in no mood for work or food on the next day,and sleepless on the third day. On the fourth day,since she found out who “Black Tulip” was, she decided she would definitely like to meet him in person.

Therefore, the way to read a woman’s mind is through her heart, and a woman’s heart is the key to getting her attention.

Of course, when the person finally shows up, he can’t be someone who can’t even hold a candle to her.

Later, I went on a couple of dates with Miss Li,but eventually we broke up amicably. I’d like to wish beautiful and nice Miss Li Ziding happiness in her later marriage.♦

(From Talents and Great Craftsmen, CITIC Publishing House)

前三天无事，星期四下班回到家，李隆东兴奋地说：“搞定了，你跟我，还有李紫锭和另一位公司里的小姐，四个人明天六点，在日新戏院门口碰头，一起看《唱吧，太阳》西班牙歌唱电影。”

我说：“发生了什么事？”

李隆东详细说明这几天的过程：

星期一，收到12朵玫瑰，她整天在想送花的会是哪一位。

星期二，又收到12朵玫瑰，其他女同事悄悄问她，她也一头雾水。

星期三，又收到12朵玫瑰，女同事们暗中商议，大家合作追查出送花的“黑色郁金香”到底是谁。

星期四，早上九点，李隆东大概偷看门口被发现了，女同事们包围他，要他招认，自己就是送花的人，他只好说出真相，送花人是初中同学蔡志忠。李紫锭当场要求李隆东载她回我们租屋处，她独坐我的书桌良久，然后再回公司上班。

因为每天早上九点收到12朵神秘玫瑰，第一天，被神秘玫瑰弄得心神不宁。第二天，已无心上班，吃不下饭。第三天，苦思谁是Black Tulip而失眠。第四天，知道谁是黑色郁金香，更想亲眼瞧瞧这号人物。

所以，要了解女人，要懂得她的心；要获得女人的注意，要从她的心开始。

当然，本人从神秘中现身时，自己条件不能差得太远。

后来，我跟李小姐约会过几次，最后，大家各有对象而分手。李紫锭小姐美丽又善良，祝福她有个美满的好归宿。♦

（摘自《天才与巨匠》 中信出版社）

12朵神秘玫瑰

文/蔡志忠 译/朱亚光

12 roses, and she spent the whole day wondering who the sender was.