作文得分亮点点拨

罗成勇

高考英語书面表达有25分，占试卷总分的六分之一，但考生得分悬殊。究其原因，除了卷面、书写、篇幅以及是否偏题等因素之外，考生还要在语言的润饰、语法结构的巧用和上下文的连贯等方面狠下功夫。下面，笔者将英语写作的小技巧略述如下。

[用倒装替代陈述]

I will never forget the day we spent together last Sunday. （一般表达）

Never will I forget the day we spent together last Sunday. （高级表达）

I was so excited that I couldnt wait to try my hand at riding it. （一般表达）

So excited was I that I couldnt wait to try my hand at riding it. （高级表达）

We can improve our English only in this way. （一般表达）

Only in this way can we improve our English. （高级表达）

The frightening sound came from the valley. （一般表达）

From the valley came the frightening sound. （高级表达）

点拨 倒装是让句子凸显亮点的方法之一，写作中常见的倒装情况有以下几种：

1. 将否定词（如not， seldom， hardly， no sooner， little）或否定词组（如in no case， at no time， by no means， under no circumstances）置于句首，构成倒装。

2. “so+形容词/副词”置于句首，主句倒装。

3.“only+状语（从句）”置于句首，句子（主句）倒装。

4. 在表达地点时，我们可用地点状语开头，使用全倒装结构。

[用双重否定代替肯定]

The diligent student passes the exams every time. （一般表达）

The diligent student never fails to pass the exams every time. （高级表达）

点拨 在写作时适时应用双重否定可以增强表达效果，增加得分亮点，尤其用在表示非常肯定的语气中时。

[用被动代替主动]

We can borrow at most ten books at a time， and we can keep them for a week. （一般表达）

At most ten books can be borrowed at a time and they can be kept for a week. （高级表达）

点拨 汉语常用主动语态，而英语常用被动语态。英语经常使用事物名称或形式主语开头，强调一件事发生某人身上，而汉语经常以人称开头，强调某人做了某事。因此，使用被动语态更符合英语的特点。如果能把整篇文章中两三个句子变成被动语态，就会使整篇文章的句子更有层次感。

[使用“高级”的简单句]

Beijing， the capital of China， is very beautiful. （同位语）

To study well， we need to do sports. （动词不定式作状语）

Not having received her letter， he wrote another one. （现在分词完成时作状语）

Frightened by the noise outside， Sue dared not sleep in her bedroom. （过去分词作状语）

Lots of homework to do， the little boy had to stay home all day. （独立主格结构作状语）

Instead of giving us answers immediately， he encourages us to think by ourselves. （介词短语作状语）

The survivors lay on the beach， exhausted and shocked. （形容词作状语）

点拨 简单句其实不简单。若我们将简单句与非谓语动词、形容词短语、介词短语、同位语、独立主格结构等巧妙结合在一起，可以增加句子的信息量，使表达形式丰富。

[使用高级词汇，展现语言功底]

第一 first→to begin/start with

最后 finally→ast but not least/eventually

选择 choice→alternative

课程 course→curriculum

充足 enough→adequate

勤奋的 hard-working→diligent

缺点 shortcoming→drawback

使用 use→employ/make use of

合适的 proper→appropriateendprint

丰富的 rich→abundant

与……不同 be different from→differ/vary from

因……而闻名 be famous for→have a reputation for

点拨 在下笔成句之前，要想一想有没有可以替换该句中某个词的高级词汇。在平时的写作训练中，若坚持这样做，就会养成使用高级词汇的习惯。

[短语优先，避免重复]

It doesnt makes any difference （代替differ） from ordinary voting events， in which candidates go around to seek supports.

Our class came up with （代替found） the idea to make better use of used materials.

However， a plan can bear no fruit without being actually carried out （代替conducted）.

I am fond of （代替like） the students from the countryside.

people in need（代替poor people）

Many people are somewhat puzzled at the negative side of the voting， although some are not puzzled about it， and active in doing it.

→Many people are somewhat puzzled at the negative side of the voting， although some are quite hapy with it， and active in doing it. （避免重复）

点拨 某些情况下使用词组、短语来代替单词，可以增加文采。同时，避免过多地使用某一个单词，必要时使用恰当的同义词代替。

[巧用复合句式，提升文章档次]

同学们如果通篇写的是简单句，即使没有一点错误，也难以获得高分。相反，若恰当使用了复合句，如定语从句、状语从句、名词性从句等，会增强文章的表现力，即使有些许错误，作文也会得到较高的档次。

例如表达“我弟弟喜欢拉小提琴，他曾在许多比赛中获过奖，有些比赛是在上海举办的”，很多同学写成My brother loves playing violin. He has won many prizes in many competitions. Some of the competitions were held in Shanghai.

這三句话的表意都很清楚，但过于平淡，没有美感可言。在这里若使用定语从句，就可以整合出这样的句子：My brother， who loves playing violin， has won prizes in many competitions， some of which were held in Shanghai.此句连续使用两个定语从句，使原来的三个短句迅速变为一个长句，为文章增加了一个亮点。

又如表达“他们没有出现，这让我们很难过”，有同学写They did not turn up. It made us very upset. 我们可以改成They did not turn up， which made us very upset.或The fact that they did not turn up made us very upset.

再如写“我们做得很好，因此我们受邀与我校学生分享我们的想法和经验”，有同学写We did well， so we were invited to share our idea and experience with all the students of our school，但如果写成这样：We did so well that we were invited to share our idea and experience with all the students of our school，这里含有结果状语从句，表达效果明显增强了。endprint