当美国媳妇遇上英国茶

2017-09-08

新东方英语 2017年9期

英國人爱喝茶举世皆知。据称，约有80%的英国人天天喝茶，而且不止一杯。他们不仅自己爱喝茶，还动不动也要给别人泡茶。无论是认识新朋友还是工作遇到难处，都要从喝茶开始。这着实有点夸张，又有点让人纳闷：英国人为何如此爱喝茶？茶对他们究竟意味着什么？下面就来听听一个嫁到英国的美国媳妇儿怎么说吧！

When I started working in London four years ago， I repeatedly made a grave mistake： Whenever a colleague would offer me a cup of tea， Id politely decline. To me， a mug of hot tea with milk tasted okay， but it was more the kind of thing you use to accompany something actually delicious， like cake. Also， as an American， I just assumed the offer was made out of politeness， not sincerity.

But this awkward exchange kept happening. It happened at work upwards of1） four times a day. The offers from my English colleagues began to drive me a little bit crazy， and I could tell that my repeated refusal to partake2） was annoying them， as well. But what could I do？ I just didnt feel like a cup of tea. Fair enough， right？

Wrong. I might as well have said “I do not want to be part of your society” or “Your tea is gross and so are you.” Thats because in Britain， I soon learned， rejecting a cup of tea is like rejecting a gesture of friendship.

Id always considered tea a relatively simple beverage. The British， of course， could not disagree more. An individuals particular tea preference is a lifelong commitment. Sharp lines are drawn. “How do you take your tea？” is perhaps the most loaded3） question in the British language. Milk or no milk？ Sugar or no sugar？ How long to steep？ And unless youre ready for all-out4） war， dont even think about asking whether the milk should be added before or after the water because youll be dragged into a bitter dispute drawn along age-old5） lines of class and region， and as an American， your opinion wont count anyway.

Making a cup of tea for someone can be a way of saying， “I care about you. Have this hot bland6） liquid that I made for you just the way you like it.” If youve had an argument with a roommate， offer to make them a cup of tea—if they accept， everything is okay now. This is also a great way to apologize without directly addressing the issue， which is the most British thing you could be doing anyway.

The true importance of the tea ritual didnt fully hit home7） for me until one fateful8） visit to my husbands parents in the north of England.

My British in-laws are the most polite， kind， hospitable people in the entire world. They bend over backwards9） to make me feel welcome. I never heard them say a word against me.endprint

That was， until three years ago， on Christmas Day， when I first made them tea.

Let me first say that it is not an exaggeration to suggest that my father-in-law could not survive without tea. He drinks five cups a day and I have never seen him drink plain water. On most days， tea is his only source of hydration， which distresses me so much that whenever I visit， I leave out extra glasses of water within his reach， hoping to bait him into taking a sip.

Okay， back to Christmas. After being offered tea several times， I saw that it was time for the final cup of the day， which they have every evening after dinner. Being the dutiful daughter-in-law that I am， I took it upon myself to prepare this round. I boiled the kettle， stewed the tea bags， added the milk， and triumphantly placed two steaming cups in front of my in-laws.

They both glanced at their mugs and hesitated.

“Bit milky， huh？” my mother-in-law pronounced.

Her words went straight through my heart like a dagger. “Bit milky” is the American translation for “This is the worst thing Ive ever tasted.” I was mortified10）. Polite as she is， though， my mother-in-law sipped the tea anyway.

I didnt make tea again for a year， which basically labeled me a social pariah11）， because drinking tea is part of British society at every level. Everyone from the burly12） men on building sites to the queen herself in Buckingham Palace drinks tea. Upper-class， middle-class， and working-class people are united in their love of this national beverage. Its a way of life and a sacred tradition， and one that carries over13） into the workplace， as I so discovered.

No meeting in Britains green and pleasant land shall begin without someone “popping the kettle on.” Dont even think about attempting to work on something hellish， like any kind of spreadsheet， without making a brew14） first to help you through. A tough client call， a tedious data entry job， or a long presentation？ Tea first， always.

Then， at regular intervals throughout the day， “the tea run” occurs. The tea run transpires15） when one person， bored with working， stands up and says， “Right. Whos for a cuppa？” Inevitably， a dozen hands will go up and the selfless volunteer will spend the next 20 minutes wrangling everyones order. It is a punishment they have chosen to inflict upon themselves， either because they secretly want to be a tea martyr， or they just really， really dont want to get back to their spreadsheet.endprint

Tea is such an ingrained part of work life in the U.K. that some offices have actual tea trolleys16）. The most tea-conscientious kitchens have a roster17） on the wall where each employee has noted their personal tea preference， sometimes accompanied by an illustrated chart. This level of obsession fascinated me because—and I must say this in a whisper for fear of being shunned—tea is just okay.

In an effort to really understand how much tea is being consumed on this island， I polled various Brits on how many cups they drink daily. The most common answer was four. Even in summer. One friend admits she drinks six to seven cups a day. But why？

Yes， tea can be a gesture of kindness， but for many people， its mostly a ritual of comfort. My friend who drinks seven cups a day said tea reminds her of her mum. For many Brits， it seems tea wraps them in the memories of childhood and home.

In that case， maybe we should all embrace this tradition. The next time youre feeling blue， whether after reading the news or suffering through a painful argument， make like the British： Boil the kettle and prep tea for yourself， and maybe your colleagues. After a few years here， Ive even discovered my own tea preference， which youre welcome to borrow： Stew for one minute， add a dollop18） of milk， and drink with a generous slice of cake while you escape the world for five minutes.

四年前，我剛开始在伦敦工作时，老犯一个严重的错误：每每有同事要请我喝茶，我都礼貌地回绝。一杯加奶的热茶味道不错，但于我而言，它更像搭配真正的美食（比如蛋糕）下肚的饮品。更何况作为一个美国人，我只是觉得这种邀请是出于礼貌，而非发自肺腑。

但这种尴尬的互动总在发生，每天上班时间内都超过四次。英国同事的邀请开始让我有点抓狂，我也能看出来，我多次拒绝一起喝茶也让他们恼火。但我又能怎么办呢？我就是不想喝茶。理由够充分吧？

实则不然。我拒绝喝茶就相当于在说：“我不想融入你们的社交圈”或“你们和你们的茶一样恶心”。因为很快我便认识到，在英国，拒绝一杯茶就是在拒绝别人表达的一份友谊。

我一直将茶视为一种相对简单的饮品。当然，英国人对此肯定坚决不同意。一个人特别的饮茶偏好就是终身承诺。这些偏好可谓泾渭分明。“你想喝什么样的茶？”这恐怕是英语中最富含用意的一个问题了。加不加奶？放不放糖？茶泡多久？千万不要问是先加奶还是先加水，除非你准备好展开全面论战，否则你将陷入一场由来已久的有关阶层和地区差异的激烈争论中。而且，作为一个美国人，你的意见反正也无足轻重。

给人泡茶实际上是想表达：“我在意你，喝下这杯热乎乎的清淡液体吧，这是我专门按你喜欢的方式泡的。”你如果和室友闹了点小矛盾，就问他/她要不要喝一杯茶——对方如果接受了，矛盾就自然而然化解了。这也是不直接处理矛盾的情况下表达歉意的绝佳方式，至少是你能实践的最典型的英式做法。

直到一次拜访住在英格兰北部的公婆，我才真正认识到饮茶习惯是多么重要。那次拜访简直是灾难性的。

我的英国公婆是全世界最有礼貌、最和蔼、最好客的人。他们尽己所能地招待我，让我感到颇受欢迎，我从未听他们说过半句抱怨我的话。

直到三年前的圣诞节，我第一次给他们泡茶。

首先声明，说我公公离了茶就活不下去，绝对不是夸张。他一天要喝五杯茶，我从来没见他喝过白水。大多时候，茶是他补充水分的唯一来源。这令我感到十分苦恼，所以每次去拜访时，我都会在他手边再放一杯水，指望着能引诱他喝一小口。

言归正传，回到圣诞节那天。喝了几轮别人泡的茶后，我发现到了当天喝最后一轮茶的时间，每天晚饭后他们都会喝。为了做一个称职的儿媳妇，我打算勇挑重担为大家泡这最后一轮茶。我烧了壶水，泡了茶包，加了牛奶，得意洋洋地将两杯热气腾腾的茶端到公婆面前。

他们不约而同地瞥了一眼茶杯，稍显犹豫。

然后婆婆评价道：“奶加得有点多了吧？”endprint

这话像刀子一样直接扎在了我的心上。换作美国人的说法，“奶加得有点多了吧？”就相当于“这是我尝过最差劲的东西！”当时我感到无地自容。不过我婆婆颇有涵养，她还是小口小口地抿了几下。

自此，我一年没再泡过茶。这也基本給我贴上了被社会遗弃的标签，因为饮茶是英国社会各个阶层必不可少的一部分。上至白金汉宫的英国女王，下到建筑工地的壮汉，每个人都喝茶。上层阶级、中产阶级以及工人阶级对于这种国饮的热爱倒是十分一致。正如我发现的那样，饮茶是一种生活方式，也是延伸到工作场所的神圣传统。

在英国这片绿色宜人的土地上，任何一场会议的开场必先是“把水壶烧上”。要干一件活受罪的工作，比如整理电子表格，开始之前却不泡茶，简直不可想象。不管是给难缠的客户通电话、乏味的数据录入工作还是一次长时间的演示，总是先泡茶再开工。

其次是每天只要间隔一段时间，就会有“喝茶时间”。每当有人工作烦了，起身说：“嘿！有想喝茶的吗？”这就是喝茶的时间到了。此时，一定会有十几只手举起来。而接下来的20分钟里，这位无私的志愿者就忙活着这些“订单”了。这种惩罚完全是他们自找的，原因无非有二：要么他们想要悄悄地为茶殉道，要么他们确实不愿意回去完成电子表格的工作。

茶已经成为英国人工作中不可或缺的一部分，一些办公室甚至配有茶具车。在最为用心的茶水间里，墙上的登记册上详细记载着每位员工的个人饮茶偏好，有时还附有图表说明。他们对茶的痴迷程度非常吸引我，因为——于我而言，茶并无任何特别之处。当然，这话我只能悄悄说，不然他们就该疏远我了。

为了弄清楚英国人饮茶的量，我调查了各式各样的英国人，询问他们每天喝几杯茶。大多数人的回答是四杯，即使夏天也不例外。我的一个朋友说她每天要饮六到七杯茶。但是为什么呢？

没错，茶是一种示好的姿态。但对许多人来说，茶主要是一种舒适生活的仪式。我那位每天饮七杯茶的朋友说，喝茶总让她想起她的母亲。对许多英国人而言，茶似乎可以将他们包裹在童年和家庭的回忆中。

这样看来，或许我们都应该欣然接受这个传统。往后心情郁闷时，不管是读到坏消息也好，跟人大吵了一架也罢，不妨学学英国人：烧壶开水，给自己或者同事泡杯茶。来英国的这几年，我甚至发现了自己的饮茶偏好，供大家参考：茶包泡一分钟，加少许牛奶，然后配着一大块儿蛋糕，享受这遁世的五分钟。

1. upwards of：……以上，多于……

2. partake [pɑ?（r）?te?k] vi. 分享；分食

3. loaded [?l??d?d] adj. （词语、说话或问题等）别有深意的，含蓄的

4. all-out：（指攻击行动）全力的，大举的；全面的，彻底的

5. age-old：由来已久的

6. bland [bl?nd] adj. （食物）淡而无味的

7. hit home：击中要害；说到点子上

8. fateful [?fe?tf（?）l] adj. （对未来事件）有重大影响的；灾难性的