应用文写作题型分析及范例点评

◎何建军浙江金华第一中学

应用文写作题型分析及范例点评

◎何建军浙江金华第一中学

特约主持：赵伐

根据《普通高等学校招生全国统一考试英语课考试说明》精神，自2016年10月起，包括浙江省在内的高考综合改革试验省份，都采用了新题型。其中，写作部分进行了较大的改革。写作由两部分组成，其中第一节为应用文写作，要求考生根据所给情景，写一篇80词左右的短文。所给情景包括目的、对象、时间、地点、内容等；根据情景的方式有提纲、图画、图标等。

应用文是人们在生活、学习、工作中为处理实际事物而写作，且往往形成惯用格式的文章。因此，它具有实用性强、真实性强、针对性强、时效性强、格式化比较固定等特点。有不少体式是社会长期约定俗成的，如书信就可以分为感谢信、邀请信、建议信、申请信、自荐信、祝贺信、推荐信、致歉信等；也有一些体式由国家统一规定，如公文。不论体式如何，都是为了提高办事效率，更好地发挥它的工具作用。有了这些宗旨，应用文的语言风格必须做到恰当准确、简洁规范、朴实得体。

题型分析

书信是应用文写作最重要的形式之一，该文体强调语言在生活、工作中的应用。写作的要求是：内容充实，要点全面；语言基本无误；行文连贯，表达清楚；语法规则和句式结构运用得灵活恰当；卷面表达正确，文字流畅，用词用句实实在在，朴实无华，清晰流畅；具有注重段落连贯、表现短文主旨的交际能力；做到紧扣主题，重点突出，条理清晰；正确拼写单词和恰当选择词汇。

题目要求

参照2016年10月的高考英语卷，我们设计了如下写作练习。

假定你是李华，你的朋友Paul邀请你下个星期天去他们学校参加文化交流活动并介绍中国传统音乐，但是你的爷爷生病住院，不得不谢绝他的邀请。请根据下面的要点给Paul用英语写一封词数为100左右的回信。

要点如下：

1.谢绝Paul的邀请并说明你的理由；

2.推荐你的同学Anna参加。

注意：

1.可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯；

2.信的开头和结尾已写好，但不计入总词数。

Dear Paul，

Thank you very much for your invitation.____________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________

Sorry again for any inconvenience and hope you can succeed in holding the activity.

Yours,

LiHua

试题要点分析

写信背景爷爷生病住院，李华无法参加活动人物关系李华，Paul，Anna写信目的谢绝邀请；推荐Anna问题格式称呼，正文，结尾礼词，签名

答题难度提示

文体结构内容语言书信体，已经提供开头、结尾和签名，故格式分数不予考虑1）谢绝Paul的邀请；2）交代不能参加的原因；3）推荐同学Anna代替自己参加；4）介绍Anna的长处，说明能够参加的理由文章所用的词汇贴近学生的实际，内容表达具有真实性恰当准确、简洁规范、朴实得体

写作具体要求

（一）内容要点

1.谢绝Paul的邀请；

2.交代不能参加的原因；

3.推荐同学Anna代替自己参加；

4.介绍Anna的长处，说明能够参加的理由。

（二）应用词汇和语法结构的情况

1.使用与主题相关的词汇；

2.能够使用恰当的语法结构。

（三）上下文的连贯性

按照内容要点展开写作，使用恰当的连接词或表达法使文章内容连贯。

写作构思

对于这封邀请信的回信，可采用以下步骤来构思：

1.直入主题告知写回信的目的——想参加而不能参加活动2.阐述原因照顾生病住院的爷爷3.介绍传统音乐推荐好友Anna 4.告知Anna强项知识、个性、语言的完美结合5.再次表明她肯定会一鸣惊人

参考范文

Dear Paul,

Thank you very much for your invitation.I’d love to accept it and take this opportunity to introduce traditional Chinese music to your friends,but I’m sorry to inform you that I won’t be able to make it.M y grandpa is seriously ill in hospital and I should stay with him and look after him.As for the introduction speech,I strongly recommend my friend Anna,who is the most suitable person to take my place next Sunday.She began to learn music at an early age and has a broad know ledge of traditional Chinese music.With her active personality and perfect spoken English,she w ill make your activity a success.

Sorry again for the inconvenience and w ish you great success in the activity.

Yours,

LiHua

习作点评

学生习作1

Dear Paul,

Thank you very much for your invitation.I’m grateful that you remember I’m fond of traditional music and invited me to take part in the cultural communication activity.However,my grandfather was badly ill in hospital and I have to visit him and help look after him next Sunday.I’m sorry I can’t come.

But I think my classmate Anna is able to replace me to join in the activity. She also loves traditional culture and has some understandings on classical Chinese music.Besides,Anna is an active and easy-going girl.You can give her an opportunity to show herself and introduce traditional Chinese music to the students of your school.She w ill not only talk about her points in Chinese culture,but also take some results we discussed at ordinary time.Anna is suitable to take part in the activity.

Sorry again for any inconvenience and hope you can succeed in holding the activity.

Yours,

LiHua

点评1

首先，该生习作覆盖了所有内容要点，文章的衔接与语言表达也比较通顺流畅，但是文章的出彩点太少，语言表达太简单化。综观全文，文章的句型以简单句为主，缺乏句型的多样性。在词汇使用上，文章还基本停留在初中层面，缺乏亮点词。

在文章结构上，考生将文章分成三段：第一段谢绝Paul的邀请，并说明了由于爷爷生病要照顾而不能赴约的理由；第二段推荐同学Anna，罗列了她的一些强项，比较详细；第三段结尾部分用礼貌的语言再次致歉和祝愿。

该作文建议给9分。

学生习作2

Dear Paul,

Thank you very much for your invitation.

Having heard the news that your school is hosting a conference about culture next Sunday,my enthusiasm gradually increases.I extraordinarily appreciate your invitation for my speech about traditional music which I’ve been always obsessed in.I’d like to do so and sure w ill I spare no time to do it at other time,this time,however,because of my grandfather’s illness,I can’t make it work,for it’s my responsibility to look after him for his great devotion towards me back in those days.Hear,I’d like to express my sincere sorry about that.

As someone puts,“Once a problem arises,a solution comes behind.”I happened to have a close friend Anna,who is also fond of traditional music and is very tactful with her wonderful spoken English.As a point of mine,you may as well invite her to give the speech.I would send her telephone number to you, if you need.

Sorry again for any inconvenience and hope you can succeed in holding the activity.

Yours,

LiHua

点评2

首先，文章最大的亮点在于高级词句的使用。如：（一）“Having heard the news that your school is hosting a conference about culture next Sunday, my enthusiasm gradually increases.”该句在句首使用了非谓语动词，用作原因状语，该句式就比because引导原因状语从句更为精彩。（二）高级词汇的使用体现了词汇的丰富性，如：extraordinarily；enthusiasm；obsessed；tactful等。（三）句与句之间衔接得非常合乎逻辑，尽管看不到一个关联词。

然而，文章的不足之处也很明显。如：conference用得不合场景；hear应该改成here等。因而本篇文章定在第五档，得14分比较合适。

学生习作3

Dear Paul,

Thank you very much for your invitation.I am fond of music,especially graceful and pop music.So,I was really excited when receiving your invitation for the activities of Chinese traditional music.I believe that I will enjoy myself and learn something new if I attend it.But unfortunately,I can’t,for my grandpa is badly ill in hospital,my company is really needed for him now,and I’m worried about him.So I don’t think I will go to your school that day.I’m genuinely sorry for that.

But don’t worry,there is a girl who is a fan of Chinese traditional music, her name is Anna.For her,this activity is like the heaven.Although I can’t join in it in person,I can look through the pictures she takes and listen to her talking about the things and details of the activity.I believe I will enjoy it.

Sorry again for any inconvenience and hope you can succeed in holding the activity.

Yours,

LiHua

点评3

该作文最大的特色就是语言断句特别得当，特别是第一段；用词的地道性是该文的第二大特点，比如，“my company is really needed for him now.”中的company使用自然，增添了文章的色彩。然而，最大的句式错误也是在该句中。由于主语I与主语company是不同的，因此前后两句话之间应该加上连词，可以改成“But unfortunately,I can’t,for my grandpa is badly ill in hospital,so my company is really needed for him now.”。

总体而言，此文在用词的丰富性上还有所欠缺；某些语言表达偏向口语化。建议给12～13分。

学生习作4

Dear Paul,

Thank you very much for your invitation.It’smy honor to take part in the activity that will be held in your school.I’d like to join in the discussion,which is about culture and traditional music,but I’m sorry I can’t go,for my grandfather has been ill.What a pity!

However,my classmate,Anna,who is fond of traditional culture,w ill be free net Sunday.I told her about your invitation.She was too excited to say a word after hearing that.She expressed that she would appreciate it greatly if you allowed her to come.Therefore,I hope that you can take her into consideration. I’m sure she won’t let you down when it comes to her,I’ll tell you that she has been crazy about everything to do with traditional culture since she was young.As a result,she is good in this way.And at school,she always communicates with others,so she is good at expressing as well.In short,for me, she is the best choice who I can introduce to you.

Sorry again for any inconvenience and hope you can succeed in holding the activity.

Yours,

LiHua

点评4

首先，文章最大的亮点在于句式的多样性与长句的写作。在首段，作者恰到好处地使用了“It’s my honor to...”的礼貌句式，并且使用了一句层次丰富的长句：“I’d like to…,which…,but…,for...”。这两句话在开头段就先声夺人，展现出作者扎实的英语表达技能。除了句式，在词汇上，作者也使用了不少精彩词汇，例如appreciate,too…to…,let sb down等等。

总体来说，这篇文章是语言精彩、要点完善的一篇佳作。故建议给13分。

学生习作5

Dear Paul,

Thank you very much for your invitation.I’d like to visit your school and attend the culture communicate activity to introduce traditional Chinese music, for I really like your school and want to form a close friendship with you. However,I’m afraid that I cannot come to attend,for my grandpa is ill in hospital so that I am concerned about him and need to take care of him.

There is another choice for you that my friend,Anna,who is also interested in traditional Chinese music,can visit your school for me.She knows well about Chinese culture,I’m sure you can learn a lot about our culture for she’s willing to communicate with you.I hope you’ll have a great time with her.

Sorry again for any inconvenience and I hope you can succeed in holding the activity.

Yours,

LiHua

点评5

该作文在语言丰富性，尤其是句式丰富性方面做得十分突出。在首段中，作者就使用了一句长句：“I’d like to visit your school and attend the culture communicate activity to introduce traditional Chinese music,for I really like your school and want to form a close friendship with you.”该句中，作者巧用连词for，使句子长度、句子意思丰富度都加强了。在第二段首句中，作者将定语从句和there be句型结合到一起，构成了长句。建议给11分。

学生习作6

Dear Paul,

Thank you very much for your invitation.The activity sounds great.But I’m afraid I can’t attend to.My grandfather is ill and I have to take care of him in the hospital.I’ll stay in the hospital on Sunday,so I have no time to join in your activity.

Even though,you can invite my classmate Anna instead.She is interested in Chinese culture and she is best at Chinese traditional music.I think she will make a wonderful speech about that.Besides,she likes joining in all kinds of clubs and activities.I promise that she will accept your invitation.If you want to invite her,I'll give you her phone numbers.

Sorry again for any inconvenience and I hope you can succeed in holding the activity.

Yours,

LiHua

点评6

该作文的写信目的一目了然：由于爷爷住院，李华没有时间去参加活动，而后推荐Anna参加这次活动，并介绍中国传统音乐。在阐述Anna的时候，谈到了Anna对中国传统音乐有浓厚兴趣以及积极参加各类活动，具有实战经验，基本达到了写作的目的。语言上attend用法有误，因为attend的搭配是attend a meeting;attend a conference;attend church;attend school; attend a course;attend a wedding;attend a funeral等；而attend to这个短语的意思是“照顾”，意思不对。建议给12分。

本栏目责任编辑：李益