Keep Our School Clean
2016-05-14刘秀志
本期点评名师
刘秀志 男,山东省汶上县汶上镇第二中学英语教师。在教学中认真钻研,大胆创新。有多年从教经历,经验丰富。
Keep Our School Clean
Good afternoon, boys and girls!
We are studying in this school. We all are① the owners of the school. Its our duty to keep it clean. Its not good to spit in public places, such as in the schoolyard or in the classroom. We are not supposed to draw pictures on the walls and throw some② litter onto the ground. I think we must make it a rule to keep clean③ in and outside the classroom every day. If everyone can do it like this, Im sure our school will be more beautiful.
Thats all. Thank you!
山东省汶上县汶上镇第二中学九年级六班 王娜
1. 优点:
发言是直接面向听众的,要求尽量使用大众化的语言。作者也正是抓住了这一点,句子简短明了、要点鲜明、条理清楚,灵活运用学过的重要句型,表达准确。尽管个别地方出现错误,仍不失为一篇好的习作。
2. 需要修改的地方:
① all are改为are all。all常用在系动词的后面,实义动词的前面。
② some改为any。因为该句为否定句。
③ keep clean改为keep cleaning。keep后接动名词。
3. 评分:
按中考英语书面表达满分15的评分标准,本文修改前可得12分。