The differences of family education between China and America

“虎妈”源自《虎妈战歌》。该书介绍了耶鲁大学华裔教授蔡美儿如何以中国式教育方法管教两个女儿的故事，她要求女儿每科成绩拿A、不准看电视、琴练不好就不准吃饭等。“虎妈”由此登上了《时代》周刊封面，“虎妈”的教育方法引起美国关于中美教育方法的大讨论。下面我们以另一种方式呈现中西方关于教育的观点，看看它们如何在大碰撞中擦出火花吧。

【Abstract】This paper makes a comparison of family education between China and American based on a short novel written by a Chinese American woman called tiger mother. It is well known that family is the first school in childrens life. Family education often play a big part in physical development﹑nature talent and shape characters of children. Chinese parents ruled childrens life， arranged their matters and concerned about the grade scores. While American parents draw scant attention on childrens scores， and seems to be respect of childrens own thoughts， pay attention to ability development and intelligence advancement. We could aware of the merits in our family education from the comparison of family education between China and American based on tiger mothers educational strategy.

Key words： China， America， family education， difference， parents， children， education

Merits of Chinese family education

Chinese contemporary family education is greatly influenced by traditional Chinese culture and Chinese custom. It is also conditioned by the feudal family system. Most of people in China think that parents are rulers. Parents are supreme rulers. In one family only what the parents say goes， children have to do as they were told and have no rights to choose what they want. Most of the parents in China do not concern their childrens feeling， because they think what they do for the children is just the childrens needs. I am at the opinion that most of us oblivious one important aspect， that is children are not mature and what they want to do not always right and good for themselves， for example， in tiger mothers novel， her daughter want to give up the violin course just because she wants to play， if her mother respect her choice， the little girl will not become a outstanding violinist. In tiger mothers mind， her daughters are not allowed to stay night outside or go to friends party， she thinks that he who lies with dogs will rise with fleas， and her daughters may become bad by the harmful effect of society. I quite agree with her thoughts because the effect of environment for children is extremely great and if parents do not pay attention to who their children are play with the aftermath would be serious.

Merits of American family education

First： respect children， treat them equal. American parents have a high respect for their childrens idea. In order to cultivate childrens self-respect and self-confidence， parents will squat down when they talk with children. American children have the rights to do what they want， their parents never control them， what they will do is just a simple advice. Secondly： focus on independency. The most difference of family education between China and America is that American parents pay more attention to the development of childrens independence. Because they think children must form a self-supporting will and the ability to live by themselves since their childhood. Therefore， it is no strange to see many American children washing clothes， cooking and weeding. Third： economic independence. In America few parents will give pin money to children. Parents encourage children to work and earn money. According to statistics， about 54% American children can not get pin money from parents. American parents give children enough opportunity to contract with society which allows them to be fully trained in various matters since they were young. They think part-time job or something like that can gain their childrens experience and capability to adjust society.

Personal opinions

We may know from what has been said above that both Chinese family education and the American counterpart are have the merits in different aspects， we should learn from the merits of American family education and absorb the essence of Chinese family education.

Now， please let me put forward some opinions to our family education.

First： stress on capability cultivation. Our Chinese parents are excessively cared about their childrens study. In order to make children have good points in study， they do not let children do anything except studying. This leads to the ability shortage of children in daily life. From my point of view， our parents should learn from American parents on family education to offer more opportunities to let children contact with society. Only the child who has tasted bitter without parents protection can gain the capability and confidence to adjust society. Secondly： respect childrens choice if the choice is reasonable. In China， children just like parents private property. In parents minds， children should be obedient to them. They make the decision for children and never thought of their feeling. This may lead to a bad result that is children are lack of interest in everything because all the things are arranged by their parents. While the American parents do not put pressure on their children. They believe that children have the right to decide something by themselves. American Parents and children have equal at home. Chinese parents should learn from the experience of American parents. Third： encouraging children. I always see a parent criticizing her child in public but never see a parent who praising her child in public. If the criticism last a long time， the children will be self-contempt. When they face difficulty they can not perform well. American parents encouraged their children to do anything they like. If the child finished it， they will say kind words of praise. This will help a lot on developing childrens confidence.

Conclusion

In this paper we have explored the difference of family education between China and America. From above we can see the Chinese family education have lots of merits and the American family education is also not bad. We should not only carry forward the good and traditional part of Chinese family education but also learn from the modern American family education. In this way， our next generation shall grow up healthy and strong.

编辑在线：每一位父母都有一个望子成龙的梦，都希望自己的孩子能够成人成才。然而，什么样的家庭教育才能实现这样的目标？在大力提倡赏识教育的今天，“虎妈”们横空出世，再次将“棍棒教育”摆在我们面前。当现代教育遭遇棍棒教育，我们该何去何从？

“虎妈”，“狼爸”甚至“鹰爸”，棍棒教育呼声再起。用高压、严厉得近乎残酷的教育方式，来促使孩子成才，这样的做法真的对吗？孩子考进了名校，就一定意味着成功吗？

所谓棍棒教育，“虎妈”和“狼爸”对孩子施加的是一种强悍的管制，如果据此来管教孩子就能成功，这也未免太过简单了。

教育的成功并不仅仅意味着孩子考上名校，教育的核心在于培养孩子健全的人格、良好的品德和自我的能力。“虎妈”和“狼爸”，是，且仅是个别的案例，不具有代表性，也没有盲目跟风的价值。他们的教育方式无法复制也不应当复制。