微笑地看着陌生人的眼睛,说“你好”。
2014-04-29
我们中国人都比较含蓄内敛,说话都不会像老外那样注视着对方的眼睛。可是,眼神接触其实在人与人的交流中是十分重要的,因为一个人的眼神可能包含着一些隐藏的情绪和信息,读懂别人的眼神才能读懂对方的内心世界。
Have you ever noticed or thought about how little eye contact most of us have with strangers? Why? Are we afraid of them? What keeps us from opening our hearts to people we don’t know?
I don’t really know the answers to these questions, but I do know that there is virtually always a parallel between our attitude toward strangers and our overall level of happiness. In other words, it’s unusual to find a person who walks around with her head down, frowning and looking away from people, who is secretly a peaceful, joyful person.
I’m not suggesting it’s better to be outgoing than introverted, that you need to expend tons of extra energy trying to brighten others’ days, or that you should pretend to be friendly. I am suggesting, however, that if you think of strangers as being a little more like you and treat them not only with kindness and respect but with smiles and eye contact as well, you’ll probably notice some pretty nice changes in yourself.
You’ll begin to see that most people are just like you—most of them have families, people they love, troubles, concerns, likes, dislikes, fears, and so on. You’ll also notice how nice and grateful people can be when you’re the first one to reach out. When you see how similar we all are, you begin to see the innocence in all of us. In other words, even though we often mess up, most of us are doing the best that we know how with the circumstances that surround us. Along with seeing the innocence in people comes a profound feeling of inner happiness.
你可曾注意或思考过我们中的大多数人与陌生人的眼神接触非常少?为什么?我们怕他们吗?是什么阻碍我们对陌生人敞开心胸?
我真的不知道这些问题的答案,但我确实知道,事实上,我们对陌生人的态度和我们总的幸福水平是两条平行线。换句话说,我们很难了解,一个低着头走路又皱着眉四处张望的人,内心可能是安静快乐的。
我不是暗示外向就比内向好,说你需要精力充沛地试着丰富别人的生活,或者假装友好。我的意思是,你试想那个陌生人有点像你,不仅要待人友善,尊重他人,还要微笑着有眼神交流,你将可能注意到你自己微妙的美好的变化。
一开始,你可能会发现大多数人只是像你一样——大多数人为家人、爱人,有麻烦、顾虑、喜恶、恐惧等等诸如此类的。你也可能注意到如果你先示好,人们会很友好地对你表示感谢。当你发现我们都是多么相似,你就会开始看到人性的天真无邪。换句话说,即使我们常常混在一起,我们中的大多数人正努力最好地融入周围的环境。伴随着人类天真无邪的发现,我们对内心幸福感会有更深的感受。
Vocabulary
thought v. 想,思考;认为(think的过去式和过去分词)
contact n. 接触,联系
afraid adj. 害怕的;恐怕;担心的
virtually adv. 事实上,几乎;实质上
parallel n. 平行线;对比
attitude n. 态度;看法;意见;姿势
overall adj. 全部的;全体的;一切在内的
unusual adj. 不寻常的;与众不同的;不平常的
frowning v. 皱眉头(frown的现在分词)
peaceful adj. 和平的,爱好和平的;平静的
outgoing adj. 对人友好的,开朗的
introverted adj. 内向的
expend vt. 花费;消耗;用光;耗尽
energy n. 能量;精力;活力;精神
pretend vi. 假装,伪装,佯装
treat vt. 治疗;对待;探讨;视为
kindness n. 仁慈;好意;友好的行为
respect n. 尊敬,尊重;方面;敬意
changes n. 变化,改变(change的复数)
troubles n. 烦恼,苦恼,担心,忧虑(trouble的复数)
concerns n. 关注;关注点;关注者(concern的复数形式)
innocence n. 清白,无罪;天真无邪
circumstance n. 环境,情况;事件;境遇
surround vt. 围绕;包围
profound adj. 深厚的;意义深远的;渊博的