『钢铁』是怎样炼成的
2013-08-20
His parents had not meant to abuse him; they had meant to love him, and they did love him. But Oliver had come late in their little pack of offspring, at a time when the challenge of child rearing was wearing thin, and he proved susceptible to mishaps. He was born with inturned feet and learned to crawl with corrective casts up to his ankles. When they were at last removed, he cried in terror because he thought those heavy plaster boots scraping and bumping along the floor had been part of himself.
One day in his infancy, they found him on their dressing-room floor with a box of mothballs, some of which were wet with saliva; in retrospect, they wondered if there had really been a need to rush him to the hospital and have his poor little stomach pumped. His face was graygreen afterward. The following summer, when he had learned to walk, his parents had unthinkingly swum off the beach together, striving for romantic harmony in the wake of a late party and alcoholic quarrel, and were quite unaware, until they saw the lifeguard racing along the beach, that Oliver had toddled after them and had been floating on his face for what might have been, given a less alert lifeguard, a fatal couple of minutes. This time, his face was blue, and he coughed for hours.
He was the least complaining of their children. He did not blame his parents when neither they nor the school authorities detected his “sleepy” right eye in time for therapy, with the result that when he closed that eye everything looked intractably fuzzy. Just the sight of the boy holding a schoolbook at a curious angle to the light made his father want to weep impotently.
And it happened that he was just the wrong, vulnerable age when his parents went through their separation and divorce. His older brothers were off at boarding school and college, embarked on manhood, free of family. His younger sister was small enough to find the new arrangements—the meals in restaurants with her father, the friendly men who appeared to take her mother out—exciting. But Oliver, at thirteen, felt the weight of the household descend on him and made his mothers sense of abandonment his own. Again, his father impotently grieved. It was he, and not the boy, who was at fault, really, when the bad grades began to come in from day school and then from college, and Oliver broke his arm falling down the frat stairs, or leaping, by another account of the confused incident, from a girls window. Not one but several family automobiles met a ruinous end with him at the wheel, though with no more injury, as it happened, than contused knees and loosened front teeth. The teeth grew firm again, thank God, for his innocent smile, slowly spreading across his face as the full humor of his newest misadventure dawned, was one of his best features. His teeth were small and round and widely spaced—baby teeth.
Then he married, which seemed yet another mishap, to go with the late nights, abandoned jobs, and fallen-through opportunities of his life as a young adult. The girl, Alicia, was as accidentprone as he, given to substance abuse and unwanted pregnancies. Her emotional disturbances left her and others bruised. By comparison, Oliver was solid and surefooted, and she looked up to him. This was the key. What we expect of others, they try to provide. He held on to a job, and she held on to her pregnancies. You should see him now, with their two children, a fair little girl and a dark-haired boy. Oliver has grown broad and holds the two of them at once. They are birds in a nest. He is a tree, a sheltering boulder. He is a protector of the weak.
奥利弗的父母并非有意苛待他,他们本想疼爱他,并且也确实爱他。奥利弗是他们家那一小群孩子里较迟出生的,养育孩子已不甚艰难了,但厄运还是降临到了他身上。他天生双足内旋,在及至脚踝的石膏矫正器的辅助下才学会了爬行。当矫正器最终被取下来时,他惊恐地大哭起来,因为他以为那双刮擦、碰撞着地板的沉重石膏靴本是他身体的一部分。
在奥利弗还是婴儿时,有一天,他的父母发现他坐在衣帽间的地板上,手里拿着一盒樟脑丸,其中一些沾满了口水。回想起来,他们都有点后悔当时把奥利弗立马送到医院洗胃去,好像也没这个必要。洗完胃,小孩脸都变青灰色了。第二年夏天,他学会了走路。在一次深夜聚会和酒后争吵之后,他的父母不经思索就一起游出海滩,希望有一段浪漫的相处时间。直到看见救生员沿着海滩奔跑时,他们才意识到奥利弗早已踉跄地跟在后面,要不是救生员足够警觉,再过关键的几分钟,他们看见的便是奥利弗脸朝天地浮在水面上了。这次,他脸色发紫,咳嗽了好几个小时。
在他们的孩子里,奥利弗是最少抱怨的。他的父母和学校领导都没有及时发现他那只“昏昏欲睡”的右眼并给予治疗,他并没有责怪父母。其结果是,他一闭上右眼,一切都显得模糊不清。只要一看到他手捧教科书,以奇怪的角度对着光线阅读,他的父亲便感觉无助欲哭。
当他的父母经历分居直至离婚时,奥利弗正处于尴尬、脆弱的年纪。他的哥哥们有的上了寄宿学校,有的上大学,皆踏上了成人之旅,不再受家庭束缚。而妹妹年纪尚小,新的安排已足够使她感到兴奋了——在餐厅和她的父亲就餐,友善的男人邀请她母亲出门。但是,十三岁的奥利弗感到家庭的负担突然落在了他身上,他像母亲一样也自暴自弃起来。他的父亲又一次感到无助地悲痛。从走读学校到大学,奥利弗的成绩一直很差;然后有一次,奥利弗从兄弟会宿舍楼梯上摔下来——这迷糊事件的另一说法是从一位姑娘的窗户跳下来,摔断了胳膊;此外,好几辆家中的汽车都由于他的驾驶而备遭摧残,而他除了膝盖擦伤和门牙松动之外倒也没有其他损伤;实际上,所有这些责任都应归咎于他的父亲,而非奥利弗。幸亏后来他的牙齿又长牢了,天真的笑容是其最吸引人的特点之一。在他渐渐领悟到这些不幸背后的诙谐之处时,他的脸上便慢慢地绽放出笑容来。他的牙齿小而钝,且牙缝宽,就像乳牙一样。
后来,奥利弗结婚了,这似乎是又一次的不幸:每天熬夜,放弃工作,错失了一个年轻人该有的生活机会。艾莉西娅这个女孩,和他一样容易惹事,她习惯滥用药物,还意外怀过孕。她的情绪困扰给自己和身边的人都带来了伤害。相较而言,奥利弗则显得可靠和稳当,她因而非常尊重他。这很关键,我们有所期待,别人便会尽力达到我们的期望。他坚持工作,而她则安心养胎。现在,你应该去看看他,他带着他们的两个孩子,一个金发的小女孩和一个黑发的小男孩。奥利弗长得壮了,可以同时抱起两个孩子。他们就像鸟巢里的雏鸟,而他就是一棵大树,一块可以遮风挡雨的磐石。他是弱者的守护神。