琴弦间的人生
2013-08-20
In order to tell what I believe, I must briefly sketch something of my personal history.
The turning point of my life was my decision to give up a promising business career and study music. My parents, although sympathetic, and sharing my love of music, disapproved of it as a profession. This was understandable in view of my family background. My grandfather had taught music for nearly forty years at Springhill College in Mobile and, though much beloved and respected in the community, earned barely enough to provide for his large family. My father often said it was only the hardheaded thriftiness of my grandmother that kept the wolf at bay. As a consequence of this example in the family, the very mention of music as profession carried with it a picture of a precarious existence with uncertain financial rewards. My parents insisted upon college instead of a conservatory of music, and to college I went—quite happily, as I remember, for although I loved my violin and spent most of my spare time practicing, I had many other interests.
Before my graduation from Columbia, the family met with severe financial reverses and I felt it my duty to leave college and take a job. Thus was I launched upon a business career—which I always think of as the wasted years.
Now I do not for a moment mean to disparage business. My whole point is that it was not for me. I went into it for money, and aside from the satisfaction of being able to help the family, money is all I got out of it. It was not enough, I felt that life was passing me by. From being merely discontented I became acutely miserable. My one ambition was to save enough to quit and go to Europe to study music. I used to get up at dawn to practice before I left for “downtown,” distracting my poor mother by bolting a hasty breakfast at the last minute. Instead of lunching with my business associates, I would seek out some cheap café, order a meager meal and scribble my harmony exercise. I continued to make money, and finally, bit by bit, accumulated enough to enable me to go abroad. The family being once more solvent, and my help no longer necessary, I resigned from my position and, feeling like a man released from jail, sailed for Europe. I stayed four years, worked harder than I had ever dreamed of working before and enjoyed every minute of it.
“Enjoyed” is too mild a word. I walked on air. I really lived. I was a free man and I was doing what I loved to do and what I was meant to do.
If I had stayed in business I might be a comparatively wealthy man today, but I do not believe I would have made a success of living. I would have given up all those intangibles, those inner satisfactions that money can never buy, and that are too often sacrificed when a mans primary goal is financial success.
When I broke away from business, it was against the advice of practically all my friends and family. So conditioned are most of us to the association of success with money that the thought of giving up a good salary for an idea seemed little short of insane. If so, all I can say is “Gee, its great to be crazy.”
Money is a wonderful thing, but it is possible to pay too high a price for it.
为了阐明我的信念,我有必要先简述一下我的个人经历。
我人生的转折始于“弃商从乐”这个决定。尽管父母都体谅我,并跟我一样热爱音乐,但他们都反对我以音乐为职业。从我的家庭背景看,这完全是可以理解的。我的祖父在莫比亚的斯普林希尔学院教了将近40年的音乐,虽然在社区里备受尊敬和爱戴,但却也只能勉强维持一大家子的生计。父亲常说,是祖母坚持勤俭持家才使得全家免遭饥饿。缘于祖父这样的前车之鉴,只要一提起以音乐为职业,大家便认为这是份冒险、收入不稳定的工作。父母坚持让我上综合大学而非音乐学院。我的确去上大学了,记得我过得挺开心的,因为尽管我喜欢演奏小提琴,大部分业余时间都用于练习,但我也还有许多其他的爱好。
在我从哥伦比亚大学毕业前,家中陷入经济危机,我觉得自己有责任退学找份工作。于是,我开始了从商的生涯——我总认为那段时光不过是虚度光阴罢了。
我无意贬低从商,重点是那并不适合我。我为赚钱而从商,获得了养家糊口带来的满足感,然而,除了钱,我从中别无所获。而这远远不够,逝者如斯,最初我只觉得不甘心,后来我愈来愈觉得无比痛苦。我唯一的目标是攒够钱后辞职,去欧洲学习音乐。以前,每天离家去市区上班前,我常常天亮时就起床练习小提琴。临走前囫囵吞下早餐,可怜的母亲也为我苦恼。我不和同事共进午餐,而是找一家便宜的咖啡店,简单吃顿饭,然后潦草地写下我的和声练习曲。我不停赚钱,一分一分地积攒起来,最终攒够了出国学习的费用。家里经济也好转了,不再需要我的帮助。我辞职了,感觉自己像一个久居囹圄、刚刚获释的人,然后乘船奔赴欧洲。在欧洲生活了四年,我比以往任何时候更加勤奋地学习,并享受着每时每刻。
“享受”这个词并不足以表达我的心情。我如行走在云端般飘飘然。我是自由的,我做着我喜欢并且应该去做的事情。
如果我当初继续从商,现在可能是一位相当富有的商人,但我绝不会拥有这么充实的生活。我可能会放弃那些金钱买不到的无形财富以及内心的满足。而那些正是经常被视金钱至上的人所舍弃的东西。
当我离开商界时,朋友和家人几乎是无一赞同。人们总是习惯地认为成功和金钱有关,因此,为了一个念头而放弃一份薪酬丰厚的工作这种行为几乎与精神错乱无异。如果事实如此,我只能说“天呐,真是难得疯狂。”
钱固然好,但是许多人为之付出的代价太昂贵了。