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Saving the Earth

2013-08-15孟琦,陈传光

中学生英语 2013年18期
关键词:行文流畅罗阳被动语态

一、习作要求:

请以“Saving the Earth”为题,写一篇80词左右的短文。

二、学生习作:

As time goes by,humans are making the earth sick.People cut down too much trees①and leave more and more rubbish here and there.Factories let out their waste without doing anything to it.All this has caused many serious problems.More and more good farmland has turned into desert,the rivers and lakes have polluted②and the water in them is dirty and poisonous.The air is less clean,even the temperature of the earth is higher than before.The earth is sick now.What should we do to save her?

First,we should stop people from pouring waste directly into the air or rivers.

Second,planting more trees and grass is a good idea.It can stop the wind from blowing the earth away.What’s more,forests can make the air clean and fresh.

We have only one earth.We should do useful something③to protect it.It is our home.Protecting the earth is our duty.

(江苏省赣榆县罗阳中学九(1)班 孟琦)

点评

1.优点

本文小作者以“拯救地球”为话题,从破坏植被引起土地沙漠化、倾倒垃圾污染环境等方面阐述了人类对地球的伤害,说明了保护地球、保护环境的重要性以及如何保护地球、保护环境的措施,行文流畅,通俗易懂,是一篇不错的习作。

2.需要修改的地方

① too much改为 too many。too much修饰不可数名词,too many修饰复数可数名词。

②have polluted改为have been polluted。结合上文,此处应使用现在完成时的被动语态。

③ useful something改为 something useful。形容词修饰不定代词,应放在不定代词后面。

3.评分

按江苏省连云港市中考英语作文满分20分的评分标准,本文修改前可得17分。

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