父亲的角色

This could be dangerous， I thought. This is Los Angeles， early June 1992. And， besides， its getting dark.

1）Stranded and alone， 2）hauling a heavy suitcase along Washington Boulevard east of Lincoln Avenue， unable to find a phone that made sense or a taxi 3）dispatcher interested in my fare， I was running late for my plane at 4）LAX. I decided that this was a chance I needed， no， wanted to take. I approached three young 5）Hispanic men standing outside their car in a fast food parking lot.

But first a little background.

I had just spent four days in the mountains above 6）Palm Springs at a conference of men who wanted to give the nation new hope for old and growing problems. We were a few of the big fish in the small pond that some have called the mens movement. We agreed that what the nation most urgently needs right now is a massive 7）infusion of strong， noble， loving， nurturing， healthy masculine energy to counteract Americas 8）malaise， impotence and 9）social pathologies. We talked a lot about the importance of fathers， both as an 10）archetypal metaphor and as a practical reality.

我想过这可能会很危险。这里是 1992年6月上旬的洛杉矶，此外，天色渐暗。

我独自上路，裹足难行，在林肯大街东的华盛顿大道上拖着沉重的行李箱，找不到一个打得通的电话机，也找不到一辆出租车肯接受我能付的费用搭载我。眼看着就赶不上我要搭乘的位于洛杉矶国际机场的飞机了。于是我决定冒险试试，不，必须冒这个险。我往快餐店停车场走，向那三个站在车旁边的西班牙年轻男子走去。

但是首先，允许我介绍一下背景。

我刚刚花了四天时间在棕榈泉的山上参加一个男性会议，与会者的目标是要赋予国家希望，解决新老问题。我们只是小池塘里的几条大鱼，有些人称我们所做的为男权运动。我们同意国家目前急需大量注入坚强高尚，充满爱意关怀的健康男性能量，来抵抗美国低靡无能的病态社会情势。我们大谈父亲的重要性，无论是作为象征的典例还是在现实实践当中。

Back in the fast food parking lot I 11）warily approached the three young， black-haired， brown-skinned men. “How ya doing？” I said calmly and evenly. “Im trying to get to LAX and Im running late. The cabs and the phones arent cooperating. How much money would you need to take me？” They looked at each other. One of them in a white T-shirt said to the one who must have been the driver， “Go for it， man.”

The driver hesitated. I said， “Name a price that makes it worth your while.”

He looked straight at me. “Ten bucks，” he said.

“Ill give you twenty.”

“Lets do it， man，” said the T-shirted youth. The driver nodded and popped the trunk. “You wanna put your suitcase here？”

“No， thanks，” I answered straight back. “Id rather keep it with me.”

“Thats cool，” the T-shirt said.

So there I was， 12）entrusting my life to what I hoped to be “positive male energy.” I was thinking we should go west to Lincoln Avenue. We headed east. Now what？ But then we turned south and soon we were on a freeway. I knew it could have been stupid， but I took out my wallet， removed a twenty and said to the driver， “Here， I want to pay you now.” The driver took it with a simple “thanks.” “So here I am， guys，” I said. “I sure hope youre going to take care of me.”

T-shirt， sitting in the back seat with me， my suitcase between us， smiled 13）knowingly and said， “So where you from？”

回到快餐店的停车场，我当时小心翼翼地走近这三位黑头发和棕色皮肤的年轻男子。“你们好吗？”我说道，尽量表现出沉着和冷静。“我要去洛杉矶国际机场，我快要迟到了。出租车和电话都帮不上忙。如果请你们搭载我去需要多少钱呢？”他们相互看看彼此。其中一个穿白T恤衫的男子对司机说：“去吧，老兄。”

司机犹豫了。我说：“报个你认为值得跑一趟的价格吧。”

他直盯着我。“10美元，”他说道。

“我会付你20美元。”

“我们答应吧，大哥，”那个穿T恤衫的年轻人说道。司机点点头，打开了车尾箱。“你要把你的行李箱放这儿吗？”

“不用，谢谢，”我干脆地回答道。“我想随身带着它。”

“没问题，”穿T恤的男子说道。

因此，我就这样上车了，把自己的生命寄托给我所希望的“积极男性能量”。我正想着我们应该往西开去林肯大街。但是我们却在往东边走。现在该怎么办呢？但是之后我们转向往南开，很快我们就到高速公路上了。我知道这看起来很傻，但是我拿出我的钱夹，抽出一张20美元，对司机说：“给，我现在付钱给你。”司机接过去，只说了声“谢谢”。“我既然上车了，朋友们，”我说道。“我就知道你们会照顾我。”

穿T恤衫的男子和我一起坐在后座上，中间隔着我的行李箱，他会意地微微一笑，然后说： “那你是哪里人？”

“Baltimore，” I answered.

“Oh， man， its nice back east. Thats what they say. Green and everything.”

I smiled and nodded， “Yeah. And back east， L.A. is our idea of heaven.”

“Naah， its rough here， man. Its hard.” T-shirt was clearly going to be the spokesman.

Every issue we mens movement guys had talked about during our conference in the mountains was in this car. It was time for a reality check. “How old are you guys？”I asked. They were sixteen and seventeen. They were all in school and had part-time jobs. T-shirt and the driver worked in a restaurant. The quiet young man 14）riding shotgun didnt say. “Tell me about the gangs. Are there gangs at your school？”

“Theres gangs everywhere， man. Everywhere. Its crazy.”

“Are you guys in a gang？” I asked.

“No way， man.”

“Why not？” I wondered.

“Because theres no hope in it. You just get a bullet in your head.”

“Whats the difference between you guys and the guys in the gangs？”

“I dont know， man. We just dont want to do it.”

I let the question sit for a moment， then started up.“What about fathers？ Do you have a father at home？” I asked the youth in the back seat with me.

“巴尔的摩，”我回答道。

“噢，老兄，东岸那边很好呀。人人都这样说的。绿树环境什么的都很棒。”

我微笑点点头，“是的，但是在东岸，洛杉矶才是我们心目中的天堂。”

“不是，这里生活很艰难，朋友。日子很辛苦的。”穿T恤衫的男子明显要抢着回话。

山上的男权运动议会谈论的每一个话题明显都在这车内重现。是时候该在现实中调查一下了。“你们年纪多大呢？”我问道。他们分别是16和17岁。他们都还在上学，且都有业余工作。穿T恤的男子和司机在一家餐馆兼职。坐在副驾位置上的沉默少年没有透露其工作。“告诉我一些关于帮派的事情吧。你们学校有帮派吗？”

“到处都有帮派，朋友。无处不在。很疯狂的。”

“你们是帮派里的吗？”我问道。

“绝不是，朋友。”

“为什么没进帮派呢？”我惊讶地问道。

“因为结帮派没有前途。只会让你的脑袋中子弹。”

“你们和帮派里的人有什么不同呢？”

“我不知道，朋友。我们就是不想进帮派而已。”

我把问题搁置了片刻，然后又问：“那你们的父亲呢？你们父亲都在家吗？”我问那个和我一起坐在后座的年轻男子。

“Yeah. I do.”

“How about you？” I asked the driver.

“Yeah， I got a dad.”

And the shotgun rider volunteered， “I got a dad， too.”

“How about the guys in the gangs？ Do they have fathers living with them？”

“No way， man. None of them do.”

“So maybe fathers make a difference？” I suggested.

“Absolutely， man. Absolutely.”

“Why？” I probed. “What difference does a father make？”

“Hes always 15）behind you， man， pushing you. Keeping you in line. Telling you whats what.”

And I was taken safely right where I needed to go. On time. 16）Without a hitch. I met eighteen amazing men at the conference in the mountains. I am eternally grateful for their wisdom and their urge to heal the nation.

But the most amazing men I met on my trip were the three youngest ones， Pablo， Juan and Richard—amazing because in spite of everything they were trying to be good. And the men to whom I am most grateful are the men I never met. The men to whom I am most grateful are their fathers. It was their fathers who got me to the airport. It was their fathers who kept me safe.

“是的，有。”

“那你呢？”我问司机。

“是的，我有父亲。”

副驾上的少年主动回答：“我也有父亲。”

“那些帮派中的人呢？他们的父亲和他们住在一起吗？”

“不可能有，朋友。都没有的。”

“所以或许是父亲起到了关键作用？”我暗示道。

“绝对是。朋友，绝对是的。”

“为什么呢？”我继续追问道。“父亲起到了什么作用呢？”

“父亲总是支持你，朋友，推动你前进。约束着你。告诉你是非真相。”

我被安全地带到了我要去的地方。毫无阻碍地准时到达。在山上的会议中，我遇见了18位优秀的男子。我将永远感激他们的智慧和他们想要改善国情的决心。

但是最让我惊讶的是在旅途上遇见了这三位年轻男子——帕布鲁、胡安和理查德，我说他们令人惊讶是因为无论如何，他们都在努力做个好人。但是我最感激的是那些我从未谋面的人。我最感激的也就是他们的父亲。是他们的父亲，帮助我到达了机场。是他们的父亲，使我安全到达了。