咸宁市星级酒店简介汉英翻译浅析*
2011-08-15吴咏花区俏桃
吴咏花,区俏桃
(1.咸宁学院,湖北 咸宁 437100;2.广东佛山永德封头锻造有限公司,广东 佛 528000)
咸宁市星级酒店简介汉英翻译浅析*
吴咏花1,区俏桃2
(1.咸宁学院,湖北 咸宁 437100;2.广东佛山永德封头锻造有限公司,广东 佛 528000)
咸宁市多家星级酒店提供的中英文对照资料中随处可见翻译失误。不仅造成与顾客交流的障碍,同时给旅游业及招商引资带来负面影响。根据语用学原则和目的论,将咸宁市星级酒店简介英文翻译中的失误进行系统分类,分析其原因并总结出切实可行的翻译策略。
咸宁市;酒店简介;翻译失误;翻译策略
一、咸宁市星级酒店简介中的翻译失误及原因
1.语言层面的翻译失误及其原因
此处语言层面的翻译失误通常指词汇和语法错误,包括拼写错误,标点符号运用不当、表达不当及句子结构错误等违反目标语规范的错误。
Example 1:
源文:温泉国际酒店是一座集客房、餐饮、会议、娱乐为一体的生态温泉度假型五星级酒店。译文:Asa 5-star rated hotel,Hot spring International Hotel is an ecological and hotspring available hotel especially for holiday makers,providing an integrated service of accommodation,dinning,meeting and amusement.
“Asa”应该分开为“As a”,“Hot spring International Hotel”应改为“Hot Spring International Hotel”或“Hotspring International Hotel”,因为酒店的名字属于专有名词,单词首字母需要大写;此外,该译文尚存需要改进之处,如 "生态温泉度假型五星级酒店"被生硬地译为 "an ecological and hotspring available hotel especially for holiday makers",英文不通顺;此外,温泉国际酒店目前仍是四星级酒店,并非源文中的五星级,译者有责任来纠正这个错误,而不是向读者提供错误信息。拟改译如下:Hotspring International Hotel is a four-star ecological hotspring resort hotel with an integration of accommodation,catering,meeting and entertainment.
Example 2:
源文:咸宁阳光酒店地处山青水秀的桂乡咸宁温泉三号桥地段(淦河大道58号),占地面积8 000平方米,建筑面积10 000平方米。译文:Xian Ning Sunshine Hotel Located at No.58 Gan He Avenue in WenQuan,The occupancy area is 8 000m2.The building area is 10 000m2.
如此短句包含大量的大小写和标点符号错误,可改动如下:Sunshine Hotel is located at No.58 Ganhe Avenue in Wenquan District, Xianning City, with a floor area of 8 000m2and a building area of 10 000m2.
Example 3:
源文:奥兰多酒店全体员工将秉承“微笑服务,快乐工作”的理念,为每一位宾客提供无微不至的超值服务。译文:In conformity with the conception of“smile service and happy work”,all stuff in Orlando Hotel will provide you the best service.
“Smile service and happy work”是对源文的机械翻译;本应用“Staff”之处却误拼写成“stuff”;“provide you the best service”搭配不当,建议译为:Adhering to the concept of“serving with a smile,working with pleasure”,we dedicate to provide you with the best service.
语言方面的失误,可能归因于译者的疏忽大意或业务水平,甚至可能是机器翻译后未经人工校核的结果。译者应以严肃认真的态度工作并多方寻求帮助以避免此类翻译错误。
2.语用层面的翻译失误及其原因
(1)语用语言失误导致的翻译失误
汉语文本通常运用大量华丽的辞藻来吸引读者;英语最大的特点是句子结构简单,逻辑分明、描述直接明了。如果英文译文采用汉语的遣词造句方式,读者很难接受此类译文;机械的逐字翻译也会降低信息传达效率,造成交际失误。
Example 4:
源文:拥有各式VIP包房,配有多式中药理疗及中、韩、日、欧及美式特色推拿服务,为您洗尽旅程的烦累,著名专业技师指导,指掌之间,享受无限。《温泉国际酒店》
译文:Several VIP rooms and various types of physical therapies with traditional Chinese medicine and different types of Chinese,Korean,Japanese,European and American massage shall wipe off your tiredness and weariness arising from your trip.Notable professional staff provides a totally comfortable and pleasing experience for you.
此译文只是机械地将单词和短语按照源文语序堆砌在一起,繁冗拖沓,忽视了译入语的表达习惯。拟修改如下:
Revised version:The VIP rooms provide you with professional services,such as various types of TCM Therapy and featured massage of Chinese,Korean,Japanese,European and A-merican style,which make you feel relaxed and enjoyable.
Example 5:
源文:拥有各式客房171间,任由阁下随心选择,细致中见华丽,纯净更显高贵,一份宁静,一份舒心,归入品位生活;行政楼层完善配套设施,让酒店成为您家外之家,远行中的办公室。《温泉国际酒店》
译文:As many as 171 various guestrooms can offer you adequate choices.Pageantry and Purity can be seen from its characteristics which makes it nobler.The tranquility and comfort reflect the taste of life;the perfect complete facilities on executive floor make the hotel your home and office.
源文中的“细致中见华丽,纯净更显高贵”就是典型的华丽词藻代表。源文想要表达的只是房间的装修优雅别致,然而机械的逐字翻译却无法让读者体会到其中的优美,只能体味到文字的拗口,可修改如下:
The hotel has 171 gracefully decorated rooms which can offer you adequate choices,with a tranquil and comfortable environment that reflects your taste of life.The perfect facilities on the executive floor make the hotel become your another home and office.
有时由于译者对源文信息理解不当,使得源文与译文互相矛盾,甚至有可能会让外国读者感受到恶意的信息欺诈。
Example 6:
源文:酒店拥有准总统套房,豪华套房,标准房共149间,多功能会议中心,大中小会议室3间,精品商场,桑拿按摩健康中心等配套服务项目,令宾客倍感方便,舒适,安全。宾馆拥有风格各异的餐厅,酒吧,宴会厅,总餐位达1000余个。《凯悦大酒店》
译文:the facilitates include:149 standard rooms,including president suites and luxury suites,multi- purpose conference halls,which includes three conference halls respectively in large,medium and small size,dinning facilities in different styles,which can hold over 1,00 guests in the hotel bars,ballrooms,boutiques,sauna and massage rooms and other heath centers.
依据译文,酒店拥有149间标准房,其中总统套房和豪华套房均属于标准房,明显与源文不一致;此外,译文结构不妥且包含一些语言错误。可改为:
The hotel has a total number of 149 guest rooms,including standard rooms,deluxe suites and presidential suites,and three multi- purpose conference rooms in large,medium and small size respectively.Other facilities available,such as boutiques,sauna and massage health center,make you feel convenient and comfortable.The hotel has various restaurants,bars and dinning halls in different styles,which can hold more than 1,000 guests at the same time.
(2)社交语用失误导致的翻译失误
社交语用失误是由于会话人不能在不同的社交场合,根据不同文化背景的语言交际者的语言习惯和思维方式差异等得体地使用语言而引起的。
中华民族的思维方式呈圆形,以直觉体验为工具,强调整体性;重综合、归纳、暗示及含蓄。但西方民族的思维方式呈线形,论述问题时往往直奔主题,不拐弯抹角。汉语文本的修饰文字在英语中通常被认为是毫无意义的冗余文字。
Example 7:
源文:咸宁北靠武汉,南依岳阳,东指九江,西望江汉平原,107国道、京广线南北贯穿而过,长江水道边缘环绕,奇山异水,人文景观点缀其中。近年经济事业蓬勃发展,旅游业发展迅猛。…《阳光酒店》
译文:Xian Ning lies to the south of Wu Han and Nord of Yue Yang,It is on the west of Jiu Jiang River and on the east of Jiang Han Plain,National Road 107 and Jing Guang Railway go through it from North to south.It is held by branches of chang jiang Riverand decorated by many surrounded mountains.mystry rivers and interesting view spot,Its economy has been developed rapidly these years,especially its tourism.…在英语国家,对城市的地理、交通、旅游和经济的介绍通常出现在旅游文本而很少出现在酒店简介上(顾湘芬,2008:112)。此外,这段翻译繁杂啰嗦,还包含了许多大小写错误、标点符号、拼写和语法错误。读者也不太可能有耐心读完这段冗长乏味、错误百出的酒店简介。建议在翻译时将上述有关咸宁市的简介全部省略。
Example 8:
源文:我们是为淑女和绅士服务的淑女和绅士。《凯悦大酒店》
译文:We are fair maidens and gentlemen serving fair maidens and gentlemen.
以上译文是一个典型的中国式“我们的文化”,体现酒店员工的集体意识和主人翁意识;而在酒店翻译中,符合服务业的行业要求,突出客人的尊贵地位十分重要。且此译文的措辞并不贴切,因为“fair maidens”不等于“淑女”,“maiden”是一个古语词,指未婚的年轻女人;建议改译为:You will get the most considerate service,our distinguished guests.
三、酒店简介汉英翻译策略
上文分析了酒店简介英译材料中方方面面的问题,对译者而言,尤为重要的就是在翻译时如何减少和避免这些问题。根据目的论,使用何种翻译策略关键由译文的预期目的来决定。酒店简介意在向海外游客准确地提供有关酒店的信息并说服他们入住酒店;以下翻译策略将有助于此类文本预期功能的实现。
1.删繁就简
由于受汉语表达习惯的影响,酒店简介惯用空洞的描述性套话,特别是使用四字短语、铺陈排比等方式增强其呼唤功能,而英语酒店简介大多简洁明了,展现个性特色。因此,为了更好地实现译文的预期功能和交际目的,译者应当突出信息功能,删繁就简以符合英文行文习惯。
Example 9:
源文:“一切从客人角度出发,让顾客满意、让顾客高兴、让顾客惊喜”是捷臣汇东酒店的服务宗旨,满足并超越顾客的期望是我们的使命。捷臣人将以饱满的热情投入服务工作、在每一次对客交往中体现对您的尊重与礼遇。《捷臣汇东酒店》
译文:The hotel aims at the tenet“offering you everything,giving you satisfaction,delight and surprise”to satisfy and surpass the customer’s expectation.We will take effort to provide services with high appraisal and appreciation from guests.
源文一定程度上是出于汉语行文的需要,并无太大的实际意义。翻译这类套话时要尤其谨慎,以免由于语言的过度夸张和渲染给外国读者带来负面反应。建议译文如下:
All the staff in Jackson Oriental Hotel offers you the best service with high enthusiasm,and gives you delight and satisfaction.
“‘活力老人’是目前日间托管机构的主要群体,但对家庭、社会来说,更需要解决的可能是对失能、半失能老人的照护,但在这些业务的开展上,社区养老中心每走一步,都像摸着石头过河,困难很多。”张振美说。
2.调整句序
大多数的店简介都是直接按照原文的句子语序翻译成“对应的英文”。不同的文化背景、思维方式、表达习惯等使中西方在行文结构上存在着很大差异 (莫红利,2009:102)。“中国人的思维方式是综合性和归纳性的思维,往往重心和总结性话语放在后面,而英语读者的思维则是分析性的,反映在文章的行文方式上就是先点明中心,在进行具体叙述。”(缪肖强et al,2009:95)因此为了让译文被英文读者接受,有时需调整句子或篇章的语序来重组信息。
Example 10:
源文:捷臣汇东酒店是按国际四星级标准兴建的豪华商务酒店,坐落于湖北咸宁温泉繁华的商业中心,紧邻温泉长途汽车客运站,距京珠高速公路咸宁入口仅5分钟车程,距享誉全国的“中华第一泉”仅3分钟的车程,居于本市各个景点的中心位置,交通十分便利。
译文:Jackson Oriental Hotel is a deluxe business hotel in compliance with international four-star standard and located in the commercial center in Xianning-spring city,Hubei,neighboring the passenger transportation station,with only 5 minutes’drive from the access to Xianning on Beijing-Zhuhai Freeway,3 minutes’drive from“The Top Hot Spring in Central China”.The hotel is located in the center of landscape with convenient transportation.
译文采用了归纳式的行文方式,最后才提到中心信息“交通位置十分便利”,违反了西方对外推介材料将中心信息置于句首,再用细节介绍它独特的特点。拟改译如下:
Located at the center of downtown in Wenquan District,Xianning City,Hubei Province,Jackson Oriental Hotel is a four- star business hotel with convenient transportation.It’s adjacent to Wenquan Coach Station,within 5 minutes’drive to the Xianning entrance of Beijing-Zhuhai Expressway;it is close to the tourist attractions in Xianning City and within only 3 minutes’drive to the well- known“No.1 Hotspring in Central China”.
3.避虚译实
中文酒店简介中经常出现夸张的言语和过多的溢美之词,而西方的酒店简介很少出现这种情况,它们强调事实而非华丽的语言。如果译文严格按照汉语的行文方式,容易引起外国读者的反感。因此,译者应当顺应读者心理,避虚译实。
Example 11:
源文:奥兰多酒店是按照国际绿色休闲产业标准打造的以特色餐饮为主打,包括休闲和住宿的综合性酒店。
奥兰多酒店建筑面积近一万平方米,拥有宴会厅两个,餐饮包房28个,高级客房59间和独立休闲会所,可接待1000位宾客同时进餐,是咸宁这个迅速崛起的中国中部休闲之都的最大酒店航母之一。
译文:In accordance with the international standard of green leisure industry,Orlando is one of the biggest multifunction hotel in Xianning,a leisure capital city quckly raising in the central of China.
The hotel mainly engaged in special features restaurant,leisure activities and accommodation with 2 ballrooms,28 Vip dinning rooms,59 guest rooms and one leisure club.
原文中斜体的部分应该避免直接翻译成英文或将其改译。此外,译文本身结构混乱,意思含混且包含了一些拼写错误。在英语国家里,对酒店的描述通常放在评论之前。因此,可对原文的结构作相应的改动,进行信息重组:
Orlando Hotel is a big multi-functional hotel in Xianning,an emerging city in central China.With a construction area of nearly 10,000m2,it has two banquet halls and 28 dinning rooms which can hold 1000 guests to dine at the same time,and it is equipped with 59 guest rooms and an independent leisure club.
In accordance with international standard of green leisure industry,Orlando is a comprehensive hotel specialized in catering,with accommodation and recreational facilities.
总之,在酒店简介汉英翻译中,译者可运用不同的翻译策略使译文符合译出语语言习惯,实现源语文本与目的语文本的等效功能。
四、结束语
酒店简介作为向旅客介绍酒店设施和服务的有效途径,对提高酒店入住率有很大帮助。提高其英译文本质量需要各方面的共同努力:一方面,译者必须具备中英文化意识,充分考虑读者的期望,提高自身的语言能力、翻译技巧和跨文化交际意识;另一方面,酒店当局应当给予足够的重视,意识到做好对外翻译的重要性。本文尝试性地提出一些翻译策略,以期给该领域带来一些启示和改善。
H315.9
A
1006-5342(2011)10-0202-03
2011-08-18