人太老实没法活

英语翻译，直译和意译，真的差别好大啊，一个在地上跑，一个在天下飞。完成则是“飞禽”和“走兽”的级差——

1.The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But its still on the list.

吾虽不杀伯仁，伯仁因我而死。

2.Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

知识就是告诉你说应该把鸡蛋放进篮子，智慧则是叫你不要把所有鸡蛋都放进同一个篮子。

3.If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

上帝瞅着咱们呢，大伙好歹喜感点吧！

4. I didnt fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

老子拼死拼活奋斗到食物链顶端，不是为了成为一个素食者。

5.Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

剽悍的人生不需要解释。

6.Its not the fall that kills you; its the sudden stop at the end.

跳楼的时候，“啊——”的时候还没死；“啪！”，那才是死了。

7.Hospitality: making your guests feel like theyre at home, even if you wish they were.

好客就是：让客人觉得他们像在他们家一样，尽管你真的希望他们滚回他们家。

8.Youre never too old to learn something stupid.

活到老，2到老。

9.If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, youll have trouble putting on your pants。

人太老实没法活。

10.Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine。

人生何处不杯具，唯有面对饮水机。