幽默乐翻天

张晓英

(1)

Give Up Your Seat to a Lady

Little Johnny says, “Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.”

“Youve done the right thing,” says Mommy.

“But Mommy, I was sitting on Daddys lap.”

给女士让座

小强尼说：“妈妈，今天早上和爸爸在公车上时，他叫我让座给一位女士。”

妈妈说：“你做得很对呀。”

“但是，妈妈，我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。”

(2)

A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I cant let him get away. So they got married immediately.

The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. “What happened?” she asked. “You used to walk straight before we were married.”

“Oh, honey,” he replied, “I cant drink that much every day.”

一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹，便要娶她为妻。她注意到他走路是直着走，而不是横着走。哇！她想，这只雄蟹可真特别，我可不能让他跑了。因此他们立刻结婚了。

第二天，她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了？”她问，“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的。”

“哦，宝贝，”他回答说，“我不可能每天都喝那么多。”

(3)

Theres a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, “Herman, be careful!I just heard on the radio that there was a madam driving the wrong way on Route 280！”

Herman says， “I know, but there isnt just one, there are hundreds!”

一位高龄老人开着车在高速公路上驾车时，接到了妻子打来的电话，妻子焦急地告诉他说，“赫尔曼，小心！我刚从电台上听到报道说，在280号公路上有一个疯子正在开车逆行！”

赫尔曼说，“我知道，可是不是一个，而是成百上千个！”

(4)

“Excuse me, but the seat youve taken is mine.”

“Yours? Can you prove it?”

“Yes, I put a cup of ice cream on it.”

“请原谅,你占了我的位置.”

“你的位置?你能证明这点吗?”

“能,我在位置上放了杯冰淇淋。”