幽默四则

王松海

(一)

Have You Weighed Your Son?

Father: I sent my son to get five pound of peanuts from you and you only give him 3 pounds. Are you sure your scale correct?

Store owner: My scale is correct. Have you weighed your son?

你称你的儿子了吗？

父亲：我让我儿子从你那里买5磅花生，你只给了他3磅。你敢肯定你的秤没错吗？

店主：我的秤没错。你称你儿子了吗？

(二)

A Diplomatic Way

A man enters a restaurant, takes a seat, and, instead of using the napkin (餐巾), takes the table cloth from the table and tucks (围) it around his neck.

The head waiter sees it and tells a waiter to go and tell him, in a diplomatic (策略的) way that what he did was incorrect.

The waiter goes to the man and says, “Good day to you, sir. Would you like a shave or a haircut?”

讲究策略

一个男子走进一家餐厅坐了下来，他没有用餐巾，而是从桌上拿起桌布围到脖子上。

领班看见了，就告诉服务员去策略地告诉那个人做得不正确。

服务员走过去，对那个人说：“你好，先生，你要修面呢还是理发？”

(三)

Why Is Tom Sitting in the Sun?

Mum: Tom, why are you sitting in the sun? Its so hot that you are sweating and your shirt is all wet.

Tom: Thats why I must sit here, Mum. I am waiting for the sun to dry my shirt.

妈妈：汤姆，你为什么坐在太阳底下？天太热你正流汗，你的衬衫都湿了。

汤姆：那正是我坐这儿的原因，妈妈。我在等待太阳晒干我的衬衫呢。

(四)

It Is Unfair

Mother: Get up, Kate. Its seven oclock. The sun is up and you are still in bed.

Kate: Yes, Mum. But the sun goes to bed before six and I go to bed after nine.

不公平

妈妈：起床了，凯特，七点钟了，太阳都升起来了，你还躺在床上。

凯特：是的，妈妈。但是太阳六点没到就上床睡觉了，而我却是九点钟后睡的。