My School Life
2024-10-21祖瑞
Pre-reading
1. What’s your school life like?
2. Do you know what school life in the UK is like?
Going to a British high school for one year was a very enjoyable and exciting experience for me. I was very happy with the school hours in Britain because school starts around 9 a.m. and ends about 3:30 p.m. This means I could get up an hour later than usual, as schools in China usually begin at 8 a.m.
On the first day, all of the new students attended an assembly in the school hall. I sat next to a boy whose name was Daniel. We soon became best friends. During the assembly, the headmaster told us about the rules of the school. He also told us that the best way to earn respect was to devote ourselves to study and achieve high grades.
I had many teachers in the past year. Mr. Heywood, my class teacher, was very helpful. My favorite teacher was Miss Burke, and I loved the lessons that she gave in English Literature. In our class there were 28 students. This is about the average size for British schools. We had to move to different classrooms for different classes. We also had different students in some classes, so it was a struggle for me to remember all the faces and names.
I found that the homework was a bit challenging for me at first, because all the homework was in English. I felt lucky, as all my teachers gave me much encouragement and I enjoyed all my subjects: English, History, English Literature, Computer Science, Maths, Science, PE, Art, Cooking and French.
My English improved a lot, as I used English every day and spent an hour each day reading English books in the library. I also had an extra French class on Tuesday evenings. Cooking was really fun as I learnt how to buy, prepare and cook food. At the end of the term we held a class party and we had to cook something. I was glad that all my classmates were fond of the cake that I made.
Students at that school have to study Maths, English and Science, but can stop studying some subjects if they do not like them, for example, History and French. They can choose other subjects like Art and Computer Science, or languages such as Spanish and German. In the Art class that I took, I made a small sculpture. Though it did not look very beautiful when it was finished, I still liked it very much.
British food is very different. There were lots of 25 options including bread and butter, chicken pie and puddings, but I still missed my mum’s cooking! British people like eating dessert at the end of their main meal. After lunch, we usually played on the school field. Sometimes I played football with Daniel and his friends. Sometimes I just relaxed under a tree or sat on the grass.
After school, there were many clubs to join. The one that attracted me most was the Rugby Club. We played once a week, and it was great fun. Also, I enjoyed acting in the Theatre Club. I still have photos of myself acting in William Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Joining clubs was a great way to meet British students and make friends with them.
I am glad to have the opportunity to experience this different way of life. I met some great people and learnt a lot about school life in the UK. Daniel and his friends were very nice. I can’t wait for Daniel to visit China!
While-reading
If you have a chance to study at a British secondary school as an exchange student, what will you prepare for? Discuss with your partner.
Post-readingIn
the last paragraph, the writer thinks his school life in the UK is great fun. He can’t wait to invite Daniel to visit China. Please write about your school life to tell Daniel.
原文呈现
My School Life
I’ve been in junior high school for a year. Today, I want to share my school life with you.
My school has a beautiful environment and is near Niushou Mountain. The students here work hard all the time, and the teachers are very helpful. Because of this, we have a great atmosphere for studying.
My classmates are very friendly. I make a lot of friends, so I never feel lonely at school. We often discuss problems and solve them together. They help me a lot.
Every morning, we have morning exercises, which help us get ready for the day. We also have PE lessons that make us strong and healthy. Besides that, we have Art, Music, and other fun classes.
We can also take part in various activities. My favorite is the Love Charity Sale. During the time, I can buy all kinds of things or sell something. The money we make from selling goes to poor areas. After this event, I feel the joy of sharing.
Sometimes we have tests to check how much we’ve learned. I think it’s a good chance to encourage ourselves to do better.
In the next two years, I think I will have even more good memories.
开头部分缺乏概括性,导致后文各段间的衔接较弱,比较分散。可以按照“校园中的人——日常学习——特别活动”的主线重新梳理文章结构。
全文重点展现了文体方面的学习内容,但是占据大部分校园生活的文化学习被一笔带过,主次颠倒。此外,要写出自己的收获与感受。
放在此处略显突兀,与上文脱节。
升格展示
My School Life
My first year in junior high school was filled with rich experiences. I’d like to share with you my school life, including the people, daily studies, and special activities.
My school has a beautiful environment and is near Niushou Mountain. The students here work hard all the time, and the teachers are very helpful. My classmates are so friendly and welcoming, that we quickly turn into a harmonious group. Because of this, we have a great atmosphere for studying.
Every day, we start with fun morning exercises that give us energy and get us ready for school. We study Maths, Science, and languages to make our brains smarter. But we also have Art, Music, and PE classes to make us creative and healthy. All these different subjects keep us interested and happy.
Outside of class, our school has lots of fun activities. My favorite is the Love Charity Sale. During the time, I can buy all kinds of things or sell something. The money we make from selling goes to poor areas. When I take part, I feel happy and proud because I’m helping others. It shows me how good it feels to give back.
I’m really excited for the next two years of junior high school. I know there will be lots of new things to do, new friends to make, and new knowledge to learn. Every day, I feel sure that my school life will be full of fun, and memories I’ll never forget.
(江苏省南京市将军山中学 潘皓轩;指导教师 刘秋雨 祖瑞)
综合点评
小作者以“学校的老师与同学——学校的日常学习——特别的校园活动”为主线描述了自己丰富多彩的校园生活,点面结合,详略得当。升格文结构更为清晰,情感态度更为鲜明。文章中的种种描述都彰显了小作者对学校生活的喜爱与赞美。